Bitch Be Drippin' Chocolate, yo.

Shakespeare would write this

POLAR BEAR???!!!???!!???

rockin! rockin n rollin! down to the beach i’m strollin! but the sea gulls knock on my head (NOT FUN!) i say seagulls (HMPH!) stop it now ....

Is he an alien

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

Abolish the State for shit and giggles

Dismantle Capitalism for the lolz

Burn down the establishment for the gram

"This is my cat Missy. It's short for Missile Launcher."

i just want to say this is 1) excellent and 2) not uncommon…i work at a vet clinic and some of the names are so fuckin weird but i love it???? clients will be like “we call her stevie. it’s short for death metal steve” or “this is turkey but his LEGAL name is scarecrow jones” thank u

“unlike the real pikachu” what are u hiding

remember, mothman was never described as a moth or even insectoid, and certainly nothing like the (disgraceful, lore unfriendly) statue it has. remember that mothman is a large, shambling humanoid with no discernable head and gigantic eyes that likes to chase cars, cause radio interference, look at you  through windows, induce nausea, and menace young couples. remember that its presence foretells disaster. remember that it ate someones dog. if you cant respect the real chaotic neutral thing then just go home………………….

the only thing accurate about the statue is the ass

yeah that parts real

Once a boy looked very sadly at me after a little bit of conversation. ‘you’re so smart’ he said, ‘I feel like I couldn’t keep up’. And then he did that sad boy face where you’re supposed to agree to tone yourself down. So I said ‘probably’ and fucked his mate.

some top advice from a slut, here, 90% of the time when some boy looks sad and tells you you’re too ‘x’ to keep up with it’s a ploy to get you to cut bits off yourself so you can come down to his mediocre level; instead, agree with him and fuck his mate

I am a slut Wen on a dayte With Boye who would Manipulate I’m not sway’d by His saddened state- I say okay I fuck his mayte

The only good addition to this post