She/Her pronouns. Gemini Sun. Pisces Moon. Virgo Rising. Chronically Ill & Disabled. You can also find me on most social media under this name. Check Please! sideblog: @thehausreadingroom Interests include Art, Movies, Books, Magic, Music, Fashion, Costumes, Nature, Intersectional Feminism, Fat Positivity, and Fandoms Of All Shapes & Sizes! This blog can be NSFW at times without tagging it, and may not be suitable if you are under 18.
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it's such bs that the whole guilt-ridden stoic self-sacrificing martyr thing doesn't work outside of fiction. repressing all your emotions and neglecting your physical wellbeing should make you god's most tragically beautiful morally unassailable little soldier of righteousness but all it does is give you bad skin and gastrointestinal problems
like what do you MEAN the number 1 sexiest character trait of all time is just kind of offputting and bad for you in real life. next you'll tell me smoking has consequences other than looking like a mysterious badass
my best tip for anyone trying to get back into reading is to remember that you can read books to avoid other responsibilities in ur life and it can become a vice if you play your cards right
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I've been meaning to make a post talking about my stroke because y'all got bits and pieces of the recovery but I never actually told the story of HOW it went down and the thing is the type of stroke I had is usually the type young people have and since having mine i've now heard multiple stories of people under 40 having very similar strokes and the scary thing is, is that they didn't get help right away. Because you're young and healthy and sure you feel weird but it'll pass right? but it doesn't, and it gets worse, and by the time you get to the hospital (some people literally take days to go) the deficits are worse and recovery is harder.
so here's a super long post about strokes in general, and mine in particular/what I went through.
So for strokes the signs are abbreviated BE FAST. Balance loss, Eyesight changes, Face drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulty, -> Time to call 911.
Had I known those MAYBE I would have figured it out but my symptoms were a little mixed. I was reading (fanfic!) in bed because it was a sunday morning and i had nothing pressing to do and suddenly got dizzy. I put my laptop aside because my eyes were blurring (Eyesight changes - symptom #1), and laid down, thinking it would pass, it didn't, it's a little vague how it progressed because I'd been having headaches and neckpain for about 3 weeks leading up to it so I was like 'idk is this a migraine?' (headaches can be a stroke symptom so symptom #2) but i got nauseous and eventually got up and to my utmost surprise I immediately fell over as if I was the drunkest of frat bros. The room literally spun before my eyes as I fell to the floor (Balance loss - symptom #3). I have had some Nights and I had never been that unsteady before. I crawled my way to the bathroom, threw up (nausea - not a common stroke symptom) , took 800mg of ibuprofen, and crawled back to bed.
if you know anything about ibuprofen you might know it's a mild blood thinner and that's a high dose. I may have inadvertently helped myself with that one. I was just feeling like shit and thinking 'idk this might help'
At this point I still thought we were still in Normal Land. Sure, it was a weird morning, but Surely There Was A Reason. (Yes There Was) Anyway, as I'm lying there willing my body to stop suffering I realize my arm is going numb (stroke symptom #4) and I switch positions, because weird, but it doesn't go away, and I gave it a good little while. I'm on a medication that can make my limbs tingle but it usually just does it to my fingers and it dissipates quickly but this wasn't dissipating, and then I realized one of my legs was also going numb. Then one side of my face is going numb.
(at the time I did not look in the mirror but I had a drooping eyelid - symptom #5)
Those all seem bad. I grab my computer and google 'when to go to the hospital for dizzyness' as that felt like the worst of my problems. and indeed the list I found highlighted that if you are also experiencing loss of balance, blurred vision, nausea, and limb numbness, you should see a doctor. That seems like far too many symptoms to be having all to be listed. I grab my phone (thankfully plugged in and by my bed), and start layering on more clothing because it's about 10 degrees out and i'm in a pajama dress. The very nice man at 911 talks with me and sends an ambulance, I tell him I don't think I can get out the front door of my building on my own and he asks if I can get to MY apartment door to which I say yes and he assures me that's fine they will have keys to my building.
(I have been since informed they love to chop down doors but no, I could get that far)
I wait by my door laying down on the ground and they arrive pretty quickly. They see to me in the hallway, which is more of a lobby in my building and the only place with room for me to lie down (I cannot stand unassisted at this point) they ask me a bunch of questions, take vitals, and ask me where I would like to be taken. Me, having never had to go to the fucking hospital in an emergency before, simply go 'wherever is close' because I again, I am having a stroke and do not have the wherewithal to think through these things.
A big firefighter helps me down the stairs (it's only a half flight and I still almost did not make it) and we get underway.
At the hospital they wheel me into triage and I mostly lie there gratefully and answer some questions and respond to some tests (grip strength, following a pen with my eyes, that sort of thing) and then I hear what is great when you've been at urgent care for two hours but what is Very Bad when you just arrived in an ambulance and that's 'She's next'. I jumped the line for a CT scan and an MRI. I was there less than ten minutes before I was actively being scanned. honestly closer to five.
my active symptoms seem to have been worse than some of the stories I've heard, not being able to walk AT ALL in particular, although some other are pretty equal (Footless Jo on youtube had a stroke around the same time I did of the same type and has discussed hers, she delayed going in despite the severity for a variety of reasons and it sounds like her recovery has been difficult) My recovery was pretty easy because i was actively being cared for and on blood thinners right away. I was pretty out of it in the beginning, but I was only in the hospital for 6 days and then in a rehab for another 4 to relearn how to walk and balance, then i was released unto the world and just spent time going to physical therapy and recovering for awhile. I was out of work for about 8 weeks total. I basically had the best outcome for a stroke. I recovered almost fully back to 100% (I'm about 2% less sure footed than I used to be, but it's rarely noticeable), my face still feels a little weird but has markedly improved so I live in hope it will eventually get back to normal. It massively sucked. But strokes can fuck you up for life and I came out a weird medical story to tell and have to take some extra medication now/precautions to take (i cannot do certain types of yoga, no weightlifting, no push ups, no going on rollercoasters.... things that could strain my neck essentially) but overall I escaped very lucky.
For anyone who has ever had covid before, please be sure you are aware of stroke symptoms. Each successive infection raises the risk in a pretty major way, and a lot of people are dying young due to not knowing these signs or being afraid to act on them. Please take care of yourselves.
my liege if you keep having all of the guards come to your bedroom to read you bedtime stories, there will be no one to actually guard the castle during that time!
one of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard (for myself, at least) is that if you're in a terrible mood and NOTHING is helping, then start doing the chores/responsibilities/job stuff/etc that you've been putting off. Will it put you in an even worse mood temporarily? Probably, but you're already pissed off, so you might as well double up on it at that point 😭 there's no loss. It's not like finally getting around to cleaning the house and scheduling appointments is going to ruin the good day that you aren't currently having to begin with 💀 And then, when the bad mood passes, you'll have gotten shit done and you'll feel a lot better later, even if in the moment you're having The Worst Time Ever about it.
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when you reblog a post about life being hopeless as an acknowledgement that your own life sucks and then your mutuals reblog the same post from you and tag it with the name of a hockey player it's like oh. so it's just me and this millionaire bastard in canada
"Going a couple hours without eating a single kind of food? No thanks, I would rather kill a child" is such a wildly horrifying take to see MULTIPLE people proudly stating.
Hi, my name is Cat. I lost my job back in December, when the call center I worked … Cathryn Mason needs your support for I'm so close to not
7/24 - i really hoped i was done with this fundraiser, but
let's start with the bad and get it over with. i am, despite my best efforts, still unemployed and still fighting with the unemployment office. my source of rent money has officially dried up, leaving me short $200 this week (i pay $450 every two weeks), and honestly i could use a bit more as a padding against unexpected/forgotten charges coming through (part of what cost me that $200)
good news is that accepting a couple months ago that i'm more longterm than short-term employed has allowed me to make some important changes for myself. those changes have helped drastically reduce depression symptoms, leaving me space to breathe and the energy to do the kind of small daily tasks that depression renders impossible
i also started making use of food pantries, which has awoken my enjoyment of cooking and helped me start feeling creative again. also like i have food to eat which is nice too
i'm continuing to apply for jobs, both ones i do and do not want. if nothing else, august is when retail stores start hiring for seasonal help, and current employment will make it easier to find something more longterm (she said hopefully)
meanwhile, if you can even just shoot me a reblog, that would be so appreciated. thanks so much for even reading; i hope to someday be able to pay everything forward
71/31 - still moving for any kind of help. I’ve been using food pantries once or twice a week, as well as digging into small forgotten grains that can spend time with my mom. We can make French toast, chicken and rice with gravy, bread pudding, pollock filets with eggs over toast, etc…
Look, while I’d love to get recipes, I’d love help even more. 45/mo for my phone cell bill.
Anything for rent. I’m seeking information from a 401(k) from like three jobs to withdraw a couple grand. Nooooo fuckin guarantee, but we’ll see how it goes
SO. Donate if you can, I’ll power everything forward, I love you all
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the best piece of relationship advice i ever got was “a relationship isn’t 50/50, it’s 60/40 with each party excited to be the 60”. which to me means that you should be with someone who makes you want to do more, be more, open your heart even wider. why WOULDNT you like making life easier for your loved one(s)?
Jolene Meghan @jolenemeghan - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook