She/Her pronouns. Gemini Sun. Pisces Moon. Virgo Rising. Chronically Ill & Disabled. You can also find me on most social media under this name. Check Please! sideblog: @thehausreadingroom Interests include Art, Movies, Books, Magic, Music, Fashion, Costumes, Nature, Intersectional Feminism, Fat Positivity, and Fandoms Of All Shapes & Sizes! This blog can be NSFW at times without tagging it, and may not be suitable if you are under 18.
Hi! I'm absolutely obsessed with your blog and takes btw 💕
I don't think I've found it in your archive but what's your opinion on the favorite son discourse? I'd love to hear your opinion on it
Keep rocking and all the best! You're one of my faves here ❤️🫶🏻
Thank you so much!
I’ve gotten a few asks about the “favorite son” comment a few times, but I haven’t really been able to address it because a lot of my thoughts are wrapped up in culture-related…… “baggage”, and truthfully I don’t think RR is aware of it given everything she’s said about Shane’s race or supposed lack of trauma.
The simple thing is that it’s a shitty and hurtful thing to say to your child, no matter what the context is. It doesn’t matter what your relationship to your child is, a parent should always be careful about comments like that. In Asian cultures, there’s a phenomenon called “other people’s children”, where it seems like your parent is always talking favorably about their friend/neighbor/colleague’s kid and how they’re better. Sometimes it’s done callously to make the child work harder so the parent has bragging rights. A LOT of the times, it’s done out of love. Parents, especially Asian parents, know the world is an unfriendly place, and their children need to overachieve and be better than their peers in order to succeed. It doesn’t matter why or when comments like these are made, it always hurts. Even when the children are grown and understand why their parents are so hard on them, it doesn’t make the original wound go away. Even when it’s a joke, it hurts. And I’ve seen enough of this happening to know that.
It’s clear that Shane tends to overthink, spiral into anxiety and struggle with perfectionism, so it really doesn’t make sense to me why Yuna would say something like this. She can show love and acceptance to Ilya without joking that he’s the “favorite”. Again, we don’t really get to see Yuna supporting Shane meaningfully in TLG, so it makes comments like this seem even worse.
At the end of the day, HR, TLG and fanfic are all fiction. It’s fine if people think jokes like this are hilarious or heartwarming or harmless in the HR universe, but I really hope they don’t start saying stuff like this to their own kids.
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What do you mean I clicked on a fic with the tag TLG FIX IT FIC and I opened it to find that you think Shane Hollander is the thing that needs fixing in that fic??!?
watership Down - Richard Adams // The only exception - Paramore // All-Night Pharmacy - Ruth Madievsky // what are you waiting for? - derald cannon jr. // Parentification - B.G.Vogrich // Abdulsamad Muhammad Sani // We Hug Now -Sydney Rose // - // - // Staking Claim - Erika Meitner
How did RR manage to write the "selfish" half of the couple into a kind, brave, thoughtful person while her favorite precious meow meow is an actual asshole (non-affectionate)? Did she read her own books?
Like Shane is the one who can't say no to Ilya, Shane is the one who made sure Ilya didn't run from their feelings, Shane is the one who locked in with their Ottawa plan because Ilya was gonna send himself to the fucking west coast, Shane was the one defending Ilya to Crowell, his parents, Hayden, JJ, etc!
Like damn, at this point, fanon Ilya is canon Shane!
Hashtag Protective Shane,
hashtag Ilya Rozanov Walks Shane Hollander Like a Dog,
hashtag a lot of the fandom makes Shane into a gay republican who is also a bitch and a nag and a whore who created sex from his mind because he doesn't use the internet and a submissive anxious little twink who doesn't know what he wants for himself and needs his protective big master dom to tell him how to breathe.
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genuinely, is there a single moment in canon where ilya is actually protective of shane or defends him to anyone? bc as much as i would like that to exist, i really am drawing a blank trying to think of one.
Something that popped up when I was browsing around.
Does TLG Ilya even like Shane’s still? He’s all in his head about how much he thinks he loves Shane, but does he even like him? Does he act like it? If we remove the sex scenes, how much love is there? How much like is even there?
Remember, this is a romantic story with a happily ever after.
Fans, is this how you want to be treated by your partner when you’re anxious and afraid? Do you feel loved or even liked if you get treated like this? Would you give up everything for a man who treats you like this?
Have you studied hard for an exam? Worked long hours? Put your head down and grinned for a promotion? Got recognized for your efforts? Felt proud when you achieved something in your life? Gained respect from your peers and colleagues? How would you feel if all of that got snatched away? For a man who says it’s an insult to HIM when your life’s work got tarnished and dismissed? What if you’re a lawyer who finally made partner after 10 years of hard work and then got demoted to an associate because of your relationship, and your partner says “lol whatever, you have a rich husband”? Are you going to be just so happy about this? Would you be OK now? Would you be ok like this for the rest of your life?
You must be so happy, so happy about the demotion, the wasted hours of your life, the lost opportunities, the loss of the professional respect you’ve worked so hard for, the snide comments from your colleagues.
You return to your own home, and the bigot who’s made your life hell for years is hanging out there, invited by your own husband.
As free agency opens up, Shane is reminded that when asked to make the same choice Ilya is expecting him to make now, he'd utterly refused.
With the realization that his fiance has been completely unsupportive since they were outed and things imploded with Montreal, Shane decides to make a different choice.
Will it break them once and for all or be what brings them back together?
Chapter 4 has arrived.
Read on Ao3 or below the cut.
They talk for another few minutes, discussing postponing the wedding.
Discussing how to tell their friends, how to spin things for the public when it gets out and when Shane’s signing is announced.
Shane promises to talk to him when he narrows his choice down a little further and then ends the call with a quiet, soft ‘I love you’ that both means everything to Ilya and stabs deeper than anything else.
He thinks he manages to say it back but isn’t really aware of all that much until he hears a soft, concerned voice calling his name.
Blinks the world back into view to see Yuna Hollander crouching in front of him, gently prying his phone out of his hand.
“Ilya?” she repeats. “Are you okay, honey?”
Is he okay?
His fiance just called off the wedding (postponed – he reminds himself dully like it makes any difference)
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
“Shane texted.” she says. “The only thing I’ve heard from him in days. Check on Ilya, please. I called back but it went straight to voicemail.”
Tears fill his eyes.
Shane had bitterly thrown a handful of examples – only examples because Ilya knows there is more – of the way that Ilya has been emotionally distant and even mocking of what the man he loves is going through at him and then he’d hung up and immediately texted someone to make sure that Ilya wouldn’t be alone.
That Ilya wouldn’t feel the way that he has.
“Is everything alright?” she presses. “Has he decided when he’ll sign the contract?”
“He isn’t.” Ilya bites out.
Does it make it better – the way he hasn’t noticed Shane was upset, that he hadn’t been offended by Ottawa’s offer – if Shane’s own mother hadn’t processed it either.
Yuna understands finances.
She helps them manage so many things with the Foundation.
But more importantly, she understands optics.
She’d trained Shane to handle his media presence, to handle his brand, better than any PR firm ever could have.
Why hadn’t she seen what this offer said about how much Ottawa valued Shane?
“What?” she asks, “Why not? Ottawa is perfect. Your team was so supportive after the two of you were outed. And you’ll be together. You can come over for Sunday dinners when you’re home.”
“Ottawa has been good to me, yes.” he agrees. “But not so good to Shane.”
She still looks confused.
“With this offer, they move no one.” he says. “When you make an offer for a free agent like Shane, you make sacrifices. They traded two players to clear cap space to make an offer for me because they did not know I already wanted to come here. But they know Shane wants to be with me so they move no players. They think, because he is my partner, that they can… what is saying.. ‘have their cookies and eat them too’?”
“Have their cake and eat it.” Yuna corrects distractedly.
“I was the highest paid player in the league with that deal.” Ilya says softly.
He isn’t now. The salary cap has risen in two years and Minnesota had made an absurd decision last year in order to keep their mediocre at best first line center.
But it doesn’t change the fact that – thinking it might be their only chance to obtain the kind of starpower everyone knew their team needed – Ottawa had worked to put together a very attractive offer.
For Shane they had simply rifled through the couch cushions for spare change.
No wonder Shane was insulted.
Ilya shouldn’t have needed to have it explained to him, especially not after Shane had commented that he ‘just wanted what he’s worth’.
Instead, he’d made a joke.
“We can request that Farah submit a counter-offer.” Yuna suggests.
“You know what the optics of that are.” Ilya dismisses.
Because she does know.
She should have seen it immediately.
Perhaps, like Ilya, she’d gotten distractedly by the possibility of getting what she wanted.
Yuna Hollander has always been very proud of her son.
Had been delighted when he’d signed to Montreal because of her own history with the team, because of the role it had played in her childhood.
But she’s also a mother who would desperately like to see her only child more often.
But her blindspot, also like Ilya’s own, had kept her for being there for that child whilst he’d gone through something difficult.
“Then what is he planning to do, Ilya?” David asks gently.
“He is… considering the offers from other teams.” Ilya says. “Toronto is in need of a strong center and captain after Kent was arrested.”
“Yes,” Yuna says slowly. “I’m sure Toronto made a very appealing offer.”
So is Ilya.
Sure, that is.
He doesn’t actually know for sure because he hadn’t paid attention to the other offers Shane had gotten.
Hadn’t cared beyond the fact that one of them was from Ottawa.
“You guys will stay long distance then?” David asks.
“What about the wedding?” Yuna presses.
“We are postponing it.” Ilya says, the words like broken glass on his tongue. “We will tell everyone that we want to wait until some of the media frenzy has died down. Until we aren’t catching reporters climbing our trees trying to get photos.’
He hadn’t really cared – had maybe been excited by the idea of more photos of them out there, more proof for the world that Shane Hollander was his – and it hadn’t been until Shane was positing that as an explanation for the delay that he’d actually heard the tremor in his voice.
Actually recognized the way that it would affect his deeply private fiance who had gone so out of his way to have a summer cottage built in the middle of nowhere where people couldn’t sneak up on him unawares during his precious few weeks of solitude each year.
A cottage that Ilya had thoughtlessly invited two people that Shane barely knows to without even checking with him first.
Shit.
“O.. kay.” Yuna says. “That makes sense. We could also add something about wanting your careers in a more stable place first. Lay some groundwork for Shane not choosing Ottawa.”
Ilya nods distractedly.
He’s not sure he cares about the narrative right now.
Not sure he cares if people think he and Shane’s relationship was a PR stunt to get through being caught making out.
He’s stuck on the idea that he’d missed so many important things in the months since that fateful playoff game.
Stuck in something worse.
Because if he’d missed all of that, what else has he missed?
I think it makes sense for Ilya to be angrier and harder on Shane than Troy Barrett or the rest of the Centaurs. Sometimes we only bare our true selves to the people we love the most. For somebody with depression, the worst version of ourselves gets presented to those who are closest to use.
You know what, I can almost get behind this head canon. That everyone on the outside gets to see the happy charismatic facade of Ilya Rozanov and Shane gets the real him.
In that case, I want to go back to what I’ve said about Ilya being lucky that he’s found somebody as loving and as patient as Shane. Because then the real Ilya Rozanov, when you strip away the persona, is somebody who minimizes or even mocks their partner’s struggles and drowns in self pity. He unfortunately has a severe mental illness and even more unfortunately has an ineffective therapist who encourages self pitying and distorted thought patterns.
Shane had no trauma? Well he does now! Because living and loving someone like that, and someone who will never change IS traumatic. You know the poor little Ilya who lived with a mother who’s lost to her illness for years? Well that’s now Shane. He might not have to discover somebody he loves lost to an overdose, but he has to live a death by a million cuts. Ilya’s empathy and understanding will be there for others but never for Shane. Shane will always have to be the patient one, the understanding one, the one who has to cope with the anger, resentment and dismissal that nobody else has to see.
You know where caregiver burnout comes from? It comes from stuff like this. Shane would only ever get the worst version of Ilya Rozanov. Because you’ve just described Shane as a caregiver, somebody who’s expected to take a step back and then another step back because no matter how Ilya acts or what he says, Shane is expected to swallow it down because it’s the depression, because he can’t help it.
Shane must love Ilya a lot to think all this is worth it, and I don’t think anyone can describe a caregiver for a person with chronic illness as “selfish”.
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there is, i think, a conversation to be had about how reid tells us things about shane but then undermines her own story by actually presenting events on page very differently. for example — we know shane is the best player in the league, but he also functionally does not exist outside hr and tlg, with the exception of shared scenes with ilya. shane is a nonwhite captain (possibly the only nonwhite captain in the league) who has won back to back cups and also has no broader bearing on the plot of the world. shane ran charity training camps for years and has relationships with the pike children but now suddenly cannot coach and doesn’t understand children. shane is a leader of the room who is beloved by his team until they suddenly do not. he is good at something until it is no longer plot convenient or his ignorance provides an opportunity for ilya’s own successes. shane has established skills and experience but then he must be humbled. wow what an interesting trend i wonder what the reason for that could be.
throws tlg out the window. i don't ever see hollanov wanting to blast their private lives across social media; i think their endgame goal is to simply not have to hide, but they're both private people. they don't want to invite scrutiny from thousands of strangers. their middle ground is being out to select trusted friends and family (a middle ground rr repeatedly shows no ability to recognize in her books, but. that's another post).
i think when hollanov get comfortable enough to want to stop hiding so much and be out as a couple around their friends, they'd have a long talk about it and who they want to tell and how, and then because ilya is a troll and shane likes to set him loose and watch him work, they mutually agree that the funniest way to do this is to bring ilya around to hayden's as shane's friend, and then just see how far he can "gay or european?" it before hayden cracks.
ilya's in shane's lap offering him sips of wine from his glass after dinner. he's playing with shane's hair and talking about game night with shane's parents. he's in shane's lap again. and shane is just sitting there the entire time like :]!! hayden is staring at them both with his brow so very furrowed. should he, like...... say anything, or................
i genuinely really like hr ilya's characterization as someone who knows exactly how to talk a lot without saying anything at all. he's gregarious and he's a party boy and he's always making waves, but without telling anyone anything about himself. he keeps all his cards so close to his chest and then deflects by laughing and saying something outrageous to turn the attention to where he wants it. but he is Not talking about himself or his feelings. he would sooner gnaw off his own arm like a desperate animal stuck in a trap. i don't care what tlg says; this man is Not sharing his relationship with the world. that's for him and shane only. he doesn't like the scrutiny of strangers and he doesn't want to invite any of it, thank you very much. his life and his real self and everything he thinks underneath the surface are all his own private affairs and you don't need to look at any of it. if he's outed against his will and someone tries to question him about his queer identity or his relationship, i know in my heart he would look directly into their camera, raise a very judgmental eyebrow as devastatingly as he knows how, and just scoff, "what are you, a cop? fuck off." and i think that's beautiful.
the other thing about the "ilya didn't go to the cottage in 2017" au though. ilya has a whole arc of self-actualization and realizing that he's gotta stop sabotaging his own attempts at happiness if he ever wants to be satisfied. he's in russia feeling more discontent than he's ever been, watching the documentary on shane's cottage again and wondering. so he slowly, clumsily figures out that he keeps running away from emotional intimacy and vulnerability because if he leaves first, he can't get hurt. except that he can, and he's been hurting himself by doing this, so maybe uhhh... maybe he needs to, like, not do that?
so eventually once he is able to admit to himself that he misses shane hollander like a missing limb, he decides he's gonna make a real effort to woo him and win him back. it's a whole russian drama with a score by tchaikovsky in his mind. hopefully without a classic russian tragic ending, though. the ending can be boring and canadian, that would be fine. preferable, even.
but the thing he doesn't realize in his grand romantic plans is that shane is not aware he has any grand romantic plans. shane thinks he's just here to get some scraps of warmth and intimacy and comfort (and great sex), and then it'll become too much and ilya will once again run away. it's what shane expects of him at this point. it's certainly not like ilya has told him any of the realizations he's had about himself over the last several months. ilya just shows up and goes hi shane i brought you flowers. can i come in? and shane is like oh um yeah sure!
but it's going to hit ilya like a sledgehammer when they're settled in bed in the afterglow, and shane glances over at him and quietly asks how long he's staying this time. and he doesn't even look hurt. that's the worst part of it. he thinks ilya came here to hang out, have dinner, fuck him, and then leave. like they used to. hell, this is more than they used to do - they never used to hang out and eat together, most of the time.
and shane thinks that's what ilya wants from him, even after everything. after ilya cried in his arms, after ilya told him he loved him (in russian, but still!), after he invited ilya to his private sanctuary.
and ilya said no.
and then he came back. he came back and he wants to stay and he wants to let himself actually love shane, and he thought shane understood that when he brought him flowers, because shane let him into his home and then into his bed again. he thought shane understood.
but shane thinks ilya wants to leave him again. and he still let him in. it kind of breaks ilya's heart for him.
so he says, "what are you saying, shane? i want to stay as long as you'll let me. i mean, ok, my flight is tomorrow evening, but until then. you think i would just walk away from you again now?"
and shane looks at him a little oddly and says, "...uh, yeah? that's what you do."
and ilya, incredulous, asks him, "okay, then why on earth did you still let me in?"
and shane shrugs a little and says, "well, i guess i've accepted i'm not moving on from you. i'll take what i can get. and then when you leave again i'll just... wait for you to come back, i guess. what else am i gonna do?"
and ilya just flops onto his back and stares at the ceiling for a minute, overwhelmed. tugs shane into his arms, onto his chest, over his heart. shane thinks he's always going to leave him, and he's ready to live on scraps? that's... that's not right.
"hollander," he says, devastated. "you need higher standards. you should have more self respect than this."
and shane snorts against his collarbone like he's just said something funny, then tells him, "thanks for the flowers, though. they're really pretty."
"i want to stay," ilya tells him, again. not just tonight, but in general. he wants to stay so badly it aches. "will you believe me?"
shane hesitates. "i... believe that you believe that," he says. "for now, at least."
but i won't be surprised when you change your mind, he doesn't need to add. ilya hears it anyway.
so he just lies there for a minute, wondering how it got like this. holding shane and petting his hair. thinking back on all their years together and not together. maybe saying over and over that they couldn't be anything, that he couldn't ever commit to him, and that cowardly maybe because he couldn't bring himself to say no... maybe all of that did leave its mark on shane. and now ilya will have to work to make him believe that he really does mean it this time.
so he's lying there cuddling shane like a giant teddy bear when it hits him. oh my god, he realizes. my abandonment issues were so bad they were fucking contagious. i gave him abandonment issues. FUCK.
sometimes i think about an au where ilya chickens out of going to the cottage for whatever reason, and shane just. kinda gives up. stops pursuing him. still texts him and is there vaguely as a friend, because he cares about him and wants him to know that, but no more than that.
shane thinks he's respecting ilya's choice: we cannot do that, we cannot be more, this risk is too much and i am not willing to take it. continuing to pursue ilya at this point would feel tantamount to trying to pressure him into a relationship, and shane doesn't want to do that. so he'll back off, let ilya know he's here just generally as someone who cares for him, but, like, he gets it. he'll stop. he'll allow ilya his distance. he respects ilya's decision, even if it breaks his heart.
meanwhile ilya stops getting daily texts from shane, spends all day thinking about shane, glowers at his phone all summer long (he goes back to russia with svetlana. he stays for all of four days before he books a flight back to boston. why did he even do this? he asks himself. papa is dead. mama has been dead for so long. he doesn't want to talk to his brother. so why is he even here?) and then finally hockey season starts up again and shane Doesn't Text Him to talk shit about the san francisco game he watched last night, and ilya realizes like. wait. what the fuck? no, no, no. this feels bad. this feels bad and wrong. this is not what i want.
except. now it's ilya rozanov vs himself: final boss, "avoidant tendencies and self sabotage" edition. if he wants shane back, he's going to have to be honest about his feelings, voluntarily, for the first time in his life. in tampa he wouldn't have admitted to anything if shane hadn't more or less dragged him into talking about his feelings kicking and screaming; at this point he's got to imagine tampa shane there again, taking him by the hand and going "cut the bullshit, ilya," and then giving him those impossible-to-resist big brown eyes. it's a process.
anyways. where i'm going with this:
when boston goes to montreal, ilya shows up on shane's doorstep with a bouquet of flowers. shane is utterly bamboozled.
he's standing there in the entryway (he let ilya in, of course, but they haven't made it past the front hallway) holding this big colorful bouquet like. ????? what??? what is this?? you... don't do things like this. what is happening? what are you doing???????
and ilya has to shove his hands in his pockets so he doesn't start wringing them like. um. i don't know. i don't know what i am doing either but i just wanted to. i don't know. do you like them?
shane takes a whiff (they are quite fragrant and he does like them) and sighs wistfully and says yes, but he doesn't understand...???????
and they're both just standing there right next to the front door with this giant bouquet of flowers between them like ?????????????? until ilya clears his throat and asks if shane has plans for dinner, and the metaphorical lightbulb goes off and shane just gapes at him.
like. wait. ilya rozanov, are you... trying to woo me?
and ilya is like …….y….es??? unless you don't want me to be, in which case no, and you can throw those in the trash, and you can also simply kill me so i do not have to live with the shame of this. or if you do not want to kill me because it would make you sad i can just go throw myself into traffic or something. it's fine. um. yes.
shane stares at him for a second. and then goes on a mad dash for the nearest vase because he can't just drop the flowers, he has to put them in water and be gentle with them, but also if he doesn't get to grab ilya by the lapels of his jacket and kiss him stupid in the next minute, he might die.
(the corollary to this is that shane spends several days admiring his beautiful flowers, stroking the petals and sighing dreamily over them. when they finally start to wilt, he takes one of the hockey books he's read several times before and presses them.
a year later, ilya does go to the cottage. shane is in the shower, and while he's waiting, ilya idly picks up one of the books on the shelf in the living room to flip through, and finds it full of dried and carefully pressed flowers. odd, he thinks, but cute.
and then he asks shane about it, and shane goes pink all the way to his ears and says they're the flowers ilya bought him last year. he couldn't bring himself to throw them out, so... yeah. <- he says this with a casual shrug, as if he hasn't just hit ilya with an instant one-hit KO.)
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i think one reason i really enjoy throwing out reid's thing with giving shane limited telepathy so that he automatically always understands why ilya is being a dick when he is, and therefore never holds it against him or lets it affect him, is that like. when you let shane be confused and hurt about ilya's actions, but he still stays, it's such a tasty contrast to ilya's idealized, rosy-hued (and green-tinted) view of him as someone with such a perfect life and perfect family and no real problems.
like give me a shane who responds to months of ghosting + vegas 2014 by going okay. i understand. no strings attached, it's just sex, i will not make any emotional bids because he doesn't actually like me. he doesn't want to be my friend and he doesn't want to hang out or chat or anything. it's just sex. he doesn't like me. but it's good sex.
(which is why he's so thrown off guard by everything about the tuna melt situation. he's got rules in his head based on what their past relationship has been like, based on what ilya himself made clear to him in 2014, and whatever ilya is doing now is completely breaking all of those rules!!!! what is happening!!!)
but specifically i really want to see them finally talk about it and shane's just like wait. you cared about me this whole time????? what the fuck??
and ilya's like. um. yes? (a little hurt, but pretending he's not) did you. not? care about me? at all??
and shane's like what? no of course i did, i cared about you the whole time but i just thought you didn't give a shit about me until recently. like i thought you just didn't like me and only liked my body, i guess.
and ilya's just like . . . . . . . . . . you thought i saw you as, what, a sex doll? you thought i didn't like you at all, and you. you still met with me every time? you thought i didn't fucking like you or care about you even a little bit and you still let me fuck you?
and shane's like. shrug. yes?
ilya is just left gawking at him. recalibrating his mental image of shane hollander as goody-two-shoes mister perfect with one (1) dirty little secret. like actually hold on a minute. that's fucking nuts. hollander, what the FUCK is wrong with you?????
#shane: idk do you want me to try to make a list#shane: haha that was a joke.#shane: I'm Normal.#ilya: NO I DON'T FUCKING THINK YOU ARE???????#idk exactly where in the timeline this convo fits i just think its like. its tasty how ilya thinks shanes life is sooo perfect for so long#but shane is made of issues and neuroses and compartmentalization and repression like. jesus CHRIST dude#and i think its a very classic trauma response for ilya to assume his own life is Worse than shane's and shane is Normal and Perfect#bc he just envies shane's relationship w his parents and kind of blinds himself to The Everything Else#meanwhile shane is out there fucking choreographing everything he does bc he can't act TOO asian in a white room.#he can't act GAY in a room full of straight people. he can't act autistic--- wait haha what he's not. he's. NORMAL#(i.e. undiagnosed and aware he's got some issues and idiosyncracies but in severe denial about it in a lot of ways)#(he can't act. WEIRD. in front of NORMAL people. except he's normal too he swears he's normal)#and like. i do firmly believe that years of intense bullying a la sidcros would also have An Impact on shane's psyche#wherein he's probably just shrugging off a lot of Fucking Insane Bullshit#and ilya doesn't really see a lot of that for a long time bc he's busy rejecting shane's emotional bids and being stuck in his own head#but when he admits to himself he cares and starts paying proper attention. hoo boy#“HOLLANDER WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU” “?? nothing?? i'm just a regular dude???” “HOLLANDER.” (op's tags)
shane and jj rating the racist shit they hear on the ice. 6/10 okay that genuinely pissed me off. 1/10 yelling a slur takes no creativity no effort no pizzazz. booooo boring!!! 8/10 i broke a finger on your face for that one so i guess i have to give you points but also points off for being fucking evil. 4/10 okay i had to go to wikipedia for this one man, i actually didnt know that was a slur that existed??? damn
Jolene Meghan @jolenemeghan - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
