narc abuse this narc abuse that
every therapist I've been to has said that my parents were either narcissists or showed signs of narcissistic tendencies. and you know what?
i still don't go around calling people I don't like or that are being rude/mean/cruel narcissists/psychopaths/sociopaths etc because I understand some of the horrors folks with personality disorders face in the psychiatric system, that a mental health condition does not turn anyone with it into Big Bad Scary Abuser™.
I understand that these conditions are literally caused by trauma, often by the person being a victim of abuse themselves, that people with these conditions are also more likely to be future victims of abuse, including at the hands of the very system that says it is meant to help them, and I also understand that no amount of being traumatized or unempathetic makes someone automatically a bad person.
I used to have hyperempathy, to a degree that one of my therapists called me an empath with such certainty that I thought it was a diagnosis. It didn't make me a better person. It just made me scared and in pain and stressed, all of the time. It was a trauma response, just like low/no empathy so often is. And even if it wasn't, even if we were just born like this or if it just happened one day, it isn't what makes us good or bad people.
Empathy is a tool. It's a very helpful tool, but it's by no means necessary. I navigate the world with my tool of balance heavily impeded by using other tools, like crutches and caution. Without empathy, you can still navigate the world and choose kindness, even if sometimes it's a bit awkward or clumsy.
And both of us would have a much easier time if people would accept our differences and accommodate for them instead of treating us like an Other, like some kind of spectacle, like a monster or an animal or something beneath humanity/personhood.
You can't get on a high horse about being soooo much more empathetic than those nasty psychos when you are treating your fellow people like they're not even people just because you've been convinced that Bad Person Disorder is a real and true thing and should be eradicated at all costs.
my parents treated me horrifically. many other abusers do the same. i don't know how many of them have this or that condition, and frankly, i do not care. if they don't, I'm only harming folks that do by armchair diagnosing them. if they do, it's not an excuse for the behavior and focusing on it is again harming others with the condition(s) that have to fight their own brains and the whole damn world just to live; not to mention, it's not my job to diagnose or treat/fix the people that hurt me.
stop calling people psychos, psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, etc. I'm fucking tired of it. you are not protecting anyone by doing this. you are doing harm. knock it the fuck off.
prguitarman
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romaincrisis
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