Birdie Elise @birdieelise - Tumblr Blog

Finally making an intro post!! 🌷🌿🌷

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facts-i-just-made-up

what's the story behind the invention of hardtack

Like me, hardtack is a dense cracker that nobody likes. Unlike me however, it kept many sailors alive for hundreds of years. Hardtack is a "victual" which is pronounced "vittle" for the same reason "forecastle" is pronounced "foksil" and "coxswain" is pronounced "cocksin." What this reason is is not known, but we do know that it's all the same reason.

Hardtack was invented by Samuel Pepys in 1665, likely in hopes of constipating his enemies. Instead he produced something akin to elven lembas bread, but instead of filling stomachs it just made people hate Samuel Pepys. Pepys in turn wrote a "Burn Book" which became the most published book in England for the next 200 years, much to the chagrin of Britain's nastiest skanks and fugliest sluts, including Pepys himself.

To make hardtack, take 10 bowls of the leading brand of cereal, put them (including the actual bowls) in a hydraulic press and compress them into a single wafer the size of a graham cracker, and then try to eat it. After several days of intense stomach cramps, you will produce one hardtack cracker which you can fish from the toilet and serve.

goodieprocter

This time I remembered to flip the color as well as the template.

EWC by @justcakethanks, EHC by @edenisquiet

I hate when I try to be productive and clean and then a day later the Evil Horrible Flare Up sneaks behind me

#had to take a sitting break while trying to make breakfast #I just wanted my bouillon bro #had to spend the day in bed 😔#mystery illness #chronically ill #flare up

thecraftyninjacat

just spent twenty minutes scrolling the tag and giggling

@justcakethanks

justcakethanks

them in the corner with their communal dunce hat is SO GOOD hahahahaha. Probably happens after every note, honestly.

Also, I love the audacity of not understanding a language and thinking you can just decide to use the more-difficult-to-undetrsand concept of acronyms instead

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margotlovessally

🪐☀️🔥☀️🪐

Okay, wait, fuck. I have vastly undervalued Dr. Doppler. When the Benbow Inn caught fire he was just like "Okay, Sarah, time to jump out of a window" and was their getaway driver.

He stared down a supernova gone black hole,

figured out how to use a gun in like, 60 seconds,

tricked this pirate dude

and, of course, flew the Legacy to safety.

#DELBERT BELOVED #I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #dr doppler #dr delbert doppler #treasure planet #Delbert Doppler

dioti

julia armfield who hurt you and why did you choose to enact that violence on the rest of us

autistickateblake

any boat book can have a treasure planet au if ur insane enough. I propose moby dick, the odyssey and the terror

#<- owuts #YES YES YES YES #Gang should I write a treasure planet owuts au

autistickateblake

any boat book can have a treasure planet au if ur insane enough. I propose moby dick, the odyssey and the terror

voxratasma

something something my wife reading our wives under the sea to me while I'm chronically ill and deteriorating and she is my caretaker despite feeling lost in life herself

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quotesfrombooksarchive

The deep sea is a haunted house: a place in which things that ought not to exist move about in the darkness. ............................................... I thought to myself Miri Miri Miri and I waited for the ocean to end.

Our Wives Under the Sea, Julia Armfield

llamaalpacca

wife under da sea

#THIS IS PERFECT IM DEVASTATED #this is exactly how I imagine them #our wives under the sea #julia armfield #owuts

alwri-tes

Average Miri POV chapter: I’m going to quietly contemplate the complexities of love, society, and relationships while juggling my worsening stress caused by my beloved wife’s mysterious and likely supernatural transformation.

Average Leah POV chapter:

imacone

"Passingly, I think that this might always have been inevitable, that perhaps she had always known it but had wanted to hold on for me, for as long as she could."

-Our Wives Under the Sea

#in tears over this #this is BEAUTIFUL #our wives under the sea #julia armfield #owuts

graveyardrabbit

something about the sea

Rockaway Beach, Pacifica, CA (my photography, 09/22/2024) // “Horseshoe Crab” — Slothrust // Sandy Cove, Jenner, CA (my photography, 04/12/2026) // Our Wives Under The Sea by Julia Armfield // Sharp Park Beach, Pacifica, CA (my photography, 05/06/2023)// “When Water Comes to Life” — Cloud Cult // Año Nuevo Coast Natural Preserve, Pescadero, CA (my photography, 12/22/2024)

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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I miss properly using tumblr as a blog….. we are so back gang get ready for shitposts ‼️

#YIPPEE

birdieelise

Sometimes I remember that I read Our Wives Under The Sea at a similar time to the release of ‘Death In The Business Of Whaling’ by Searows and I’m both devastated and grateful for that combination. Literally could not have been better.

birdieelise

Guys I really want to re read Our Wives Under The Sea. I’m going to finish The Seas by Samantha Hunt and then I fear it’s re read time

#our wives under the sea #julia armfield #owuts

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