#dead inside but it's pride ✌️

I just want to blow my fucking head off.

I am starving but the act of putting food into my body is physically repulsive

Inside me are 2 wolves. One is my father just trying to watch youtube, and the other is my mother who finds the guy's voice INFURIATINGLY annoying

Congrats mr. King of "i'm in a bad mood and i don't wike this so I'm say the most hurtful shit I can"

Why do arguments only ever seem to end when I admit I'm in the wrong?

Anyways if you couldn't tell already I'm going through a bit of an emotional roller coaster tonight over here

Why can't I recongize the signs that are slapping me in the goddamn face? Two separate people got excited to see me today and gave me a hug, and one of them a) also gave me a hug when she was leaving b) asked when she's going to see me next c) told me she saved a video to show me (she doesn't have my number or anything, I gave her my tiktok handle). This fucking proves people enjoy my presence and think about me when I'm not around. I'm so desperate for validation, but I have to learn to recognize the validation that's there. He said everyone is back to zero, but even if it's an argument he's still responding. And he said he basically doesn't talk to anyone to anyone outside work, but we DO TALK.

"Every time you have an inconvenience everyone else has" I don't have an inconvenience, I AM the inconvenience. You made that abundantly fucking clear

Why can't I fucking say the shit other people have no fucking problem saying to me? I fucking hate myself. Bye

You're sick and tired of me, aren't you? I'm too much of an inconvenience, and you're getting tired of dealing with my bullshit. I can see it, it's going to happen. Or it already has. Or maybe I'm making it all up. And that's the fucking problem, isn't it? Because I'm just going to turn this into yet another self fulfilling prophecy, and I'm never going to learn my lesson. I haven't yet. That's why this keeps fucking happening. I should have known this time around wouldn't be any different.

I'm stuck between he must have fucking gotten that bullshit from her and he's right which means so was she

Sleep schedule status: officially fucked

Fuckin hate how responsibilities are taking away all my tattoo and hair dye money

I still expect to look over and see my dead cat's face sometimes when I'm laying in bed and my cat climbs on top of me