Imagime All The Soda

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

There are few things funnier to me than the white-hot raging beef parents can have with fictional characters written for young children. You want to hear one of the funniest rants of your life, you ask nearly any parent of a young child their least favorite little cartoon guy. It'll be amazing.

@proverbialshipwreck

Every time I see this creature he looks like if the wind blows on him a bit too strong he'll puff into a million seeds like a dandelion and scatter in the breeze

Ma'am, we're sorry to have to tell you this, but your husband had an accident at the Pianos, Anvils, and Comically Large Panes of Glass Incorporated factory...

he was hit by a car in the parking lot

I lost my streak on wordle recently and it made me realise that the streakification of society has been designed to keep our cortisol spiked. That's my new theory. "No you don't understand, I gotta look at my screen or I'll lose my streak on some random game that means literally nothing." BE FREE.