I Am My Own Maker

My stupid fucking mommy who thinks that calling the cops on me is how she gets in contact instead of actually granting me any space at all don't u love an obsessive controlling bitch? Don't I feel loved by someone who I couldn't have a casual conversation with in any capacity? That I specifically said "could you please try and talk to me about anything fun? Could you please ask me what new album I've heard instead of demanding I have a 5yr plan that looks like yours?" I hope she stresses out every day and I hope that stress breaks her fucking heart cos I am gonna happily happily piss on her grave after graffiti carving "FAILURE AS A MOTHER" on the headstone

Pepsi should start advertising itself as "radium free"

wish $20 was $20 again.... it's literally $5. if ur fucking lucky

in a separate bowl, combine the seasoning mix, two teaspoons of oil, and three tablespoons of Gamer Water.

very very evil to be a child in 2008 and an adult in 2025

I need to have nasty outdoor t4t sex this summer or I'll pass away

I'm in your house picking your shy, uptight man like a lock.

the problem with being someone who 1) lives in mountain lion range 2) enjoys night hiking is that there is a nonzero chance my last words will be "oh fugg a gougar"