Shitlord of piss mountain

Wooeooooowoowoooowwowowowwwww

I feel like I just got hypnotized

This is just incredible!!

I call witchcraft

*over the loudspeaker at ikea* FIRST BLOOD

i think if i, in the flesh, heard that in an ikea some primal part of me would break out and smash a norrnäs over the closest person’s head

no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible

At least he didn’t go “finders-Keepers”

social media popularity and influencer culture is gross but also.. i wanna make money for doing absolutely nothing too

It’s a TON of work. It’s not doing nothing???? It’s taking pictures at the ass crack of dawn to make a hotel stay “look like a vacation” it’s eating cold food because it took forever to get that right lighting. It’s editing photos and videos for hours because shit has to look professional af. We’re business people, photographers, marketing experts, and have to look good doing it so fuck off w this “influencers do nothing” shit. 🙄

im sorry that its so stressful that you have the privilege to go to a hotel:/

What a sweet little pumpernickel

what kind of camera are you using this is like movie quality god damn

HE SOUNDS SO SAD PUT hIM BACK

He eat

what sort of fucking demon is that

Just a little boy.

Me

he lik the popsacle

I think the funniest thing is her diction. Like that shit sticks with you.

it’s the take on me girl