alex

god i hope whatever bullshit happens next is funny

honestly? Im sincere and so full of love and no one can ever take that away from me

like if a drink is gonna taste bad, then I want it to at least Fuck Me Up, and if a drink isn’t gonna fuck me up, then i want it to taste real nice. but you can’t have a drink that both fails to fuck you up, AND fails to taste good. that’s cheating. and that’s beer.

now im no big titty lawyer,

i am excuse me *pushes boobily into the courtroom knocking over stacks of papers with my huge naturals*

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed

This is legit and people don’t realize it.

“hey what are you doing?” “nothing”  “oh great! so you are avaliab-” “no you don’t understand. I’m doing nothing.” 

I’m doing nothing. Actively. It’s important.

This is essential nothing I’m doing.

When your head hits the pillow tonight, remind yourself that you’ve done a good job. You are headed down your path at your own pace, and with every obstacle you are trying your utmost best. Be patient with yourself, and remember that big things are achieved not all at once, but one day at a time.

i want to be flirted with!!! i want to be desired!!! i want to be lusted after!!!

literally what is the logic behind naps leaving you with a weird taste in your mouth. i wasnt eating anything i was sleep

its the spiders isnt it