borzoink

The daemonism community was DROWNED by Daemon Targaryen tags when it came out. It's still massively infected.

PLEASE use his full name this time! Let us have our little community tags that are so small on tumblr anyways!

“that’s the very reason the Oblation Board was set up. As our good hostess here could tell you.” “Really? Is she involved with the Oblation Board?” “My dear, she is the Oblation Board. It’s entirely her own project –”

When I first became me (though I wasn't called Aza at the time), I had a purpose. I was going to be a daemon. Like in His Dark Materials. I was inspired by Pan and Lyra's relationship. My human would never be alone so long as I was there, and I would never be alone either in return. He needed me and that's why I was there.

There's an age, we don't remember when, where he didn't need me anymore. So I left. We barely remember it, but we know it was tearful. I said my goodbyes. I knew he was going to be okay without me. He didn't need me anymore.

Until he did again. He was realizing that he wasn't the woman he thought, and he was terrified. So there I was, back again. For him. Always for him. In the same way he had changed, so had I, in my time away. I changed my names and pronouns as well. I didn't have to, but it felt right. It felt like me.

After the chaos of transition settled, he didn't need me anymore and we agreed. I am not going anywhere. I am more than a purpose. I don't need to have one. He doesn't have to need me. I don't want to be away from him and he doesn't want me away either. So I stay. Needed or not. It's something that time away made me learn about myself. I don't need a purpose, I don't need a goal, I don't need to be needed. No amount of friends or healing or romantic love can replace me. I have value by the fact of my existence. I didn't need to go away back then and I don't need to go away now.