Im always scared to call someone my friend because what if they dont consider me a friend and hate me because of that

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

something lesbian better happen to me soon or someone’s getting skinned

there's a really fun balance when you know someone has a crush on you where you can tease them for having a crush on you without letting them know you know they have a crush on you. this only works because people who have crushes will analyze everything you say but not very well. anyway, i love playing with my food.

so fucking stupid that shaving doesn't make the hair stop growing there. i told you to stop that

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

scientists have been hard at work inventing a new kind of topology to quote "fuck you over, hard"

shout out to the girls that hate their bodies but are trying really really hard to find the beauty and comfort in them because that shit is hard and takes a lot of time and is emotionally exhausting. i’m proud of y’all.

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

Thank you for engaging in the mortifying ordeal of being known so that I may partake in the euphoric experience of knowing you.

Princesses are allowed to snuggle up and hide in pillows and blankets. It's burrowing behaviour and it's cute

it's totally ok to dislike things. right?

wawawawawawa. Very nice noises