Nerdy Birdie

But I’m thinking like. This could still def be a good arc for an individual character, and a supporting story to enhance another narrative. And then I started thinking about another OC that I have, who is also suffering from the consequences of the nature of her creation. And I’m like oh yes this could work. Because the lore for that OC’s world and magic system is a little more fleshed out in my head, and with the rules I’ve given it so far, this clone girl’s story would definitely be very interesting.

There’s a pretty obvious transgender allegory that could be made given the whole “forced into a role she didn’t choose” and “living someone else’s life” thing, and certainly this could be compelling; I’ve felt these things before. But I don’t think that’s what this particular story is primarily about. (Could still be a factor sure. I think all my OCs are probably trans in some way). I think the thing that I find most compelling about the horror of her situation is that she isn’t actually being constrained by any outside forces. Nobody is forcing her to continue filling this role, she’s been given her freedom, and despite that, she still can’t be anything else. They don’t need her in a cage because she is the cage. It doesn’t matter that she didn’t choose this, it doesn’t matter that she’s trapped. How can she complain when she’s the one letting it go on like this?

I think the thing I most want to explore is the nature of memories and identity. What makes “you” you? If you died, and a perfect clone was created, identical in every way, with all of your memories, is that you? Would she want to be? What if she didn’t? What if she couldn’t be anything else? Are you your memories, or are you something else? If you come into existence already holding a life’s worth of memories, are you those memories, or are you a just some “thing” that now holds them? Are they really yours? Would you have been someone else if you hadn’t been made with these memories? Could you have existed any other way, or would that not be “you” either?

I also just find the potential complex trauma of such an existence fascinating to explore. If she has ALL of her original’s memories, does that include the memories of dying? Does she feel guilty about replacing her? What does it feel like to visit your own grave, and know for a fact that the girl buried there really is still dead? To know that they stopped mourning her when they made you? To know they didn’t? If she already had trauma, how does she feel about it? Does she feel like she can’t be upset, because it didn’t really happen to “her”? Is she mad about being forced to carry it? What about physical problems? Does she have disabilities? Scars? Was it impossible to make a perfect clone without these things, or did they choose to include them, “for accuracy”? If she is trans, how does this apply to features she was dysphoric about? Would the story be more interesting or less interesting if her body was actually not identical to the original? If only her mind was the same? Would it be more interesting to have her body be “worse” (complications from cloning?) or for it to be “better” (disabling and/or dysphoric features removed)? What if one of her conditions is what killed her? Did the original have thoughts about any of this? Was she aware this would happen if she died? Did she consent to it? How does the memory of having those thoughts affect the clone? Does she agree with them? Does she worry about being cloned again if she dies?

There’s also some pretty big context questions that need to be answered. For one, why did they clone her in the first place? What exactly was so important about the original that it justified all this? Was it an ability of hers that they needed? Or was it more emotionally driven? Who exactly was she? What could she have done to become so beloved (or so useful) that they felt the need to bring her back? Who brought her back? Friends? Family? An organization she worked for? A lover (reciprocated or unreciprocated?)? A stranger? Was it a collective effort? Did anyone object? How long was she dead before they cloned her?