I think the concept of introversion may have harmed a lot of people, tbh
It makes it easy to make an identity of being scared. And it's easy to hear a loosely medicalized idea like "I am just fundamentally de-energized by social interaction, unlike other people, who aren't", and then dig in. And really you're just scared.
A key differentiator: Introverts aren't naturally awkward or uncomfortable in social situations.
Things like "I'm nervous introducing myself to strangers" / "I feel intimidated around groups of people" / "I hate small talk" / "I miss a lot of social cues" aren't signs of an introvert, they're signs of social anxiety. Social anxiety has lots of causes - neurodivergence and behavioral disorders among them. But it's not caused by "being an introvert."
Even if there's truth to the charge/drain extrovert/introvert dichotomy, all humans need both regular social interaction as well as alone time. An introvert at a social function will feel happy and have fun, the same way an extrovert can enjoy reading a book or taking a walk alone.
Signed,
- An extrovert with a clinically diagnosed social anxiety disorder; I thought I was "an introvert" until I was almost 30
I think there’s also a lot of self fulfilling prophecy in the “draining.” Doing new things in new situations can be very stressful and draining. But the more you do it, the less draining it gets. The less you do it, the more new social situations freak you out. It’s a muscle you build. Just like the first day at the gym leaves you a wreck, but not the 100th.
Show up to the same book club 20 times and those people might become the ones who “don’t count” as draining you. Show up to 20 different kinds of events and you get the hang of making introductions and small talk. The more times things don’t go badly the more resilience you have to new things.
Not saying introversion is bad or needs to be “fixed.” God knows the world needs them. Just don’t confuse a preference for a quiet night in, for a fear of telling the server you asked for no pickles.
