I saw an anonymous ask that got sent to an artist I follow that was along the lines of "I need an outlet for my stress, and being mean to people makes me feel good" and I would really like to say. to anyone who is mean to others for the thrill of it. I understand you completely and I was EXACTLY the same a few years ago. you're right!! it DOES feel good!!!!
for a few minutes.
and then you feel even worse than you did before. you're not "letting off steam", you're building a dependence on bullying, and you WILL end up with misery as your default emotional state. even if you don't behave this way to your loved ones, it WILL start showing.
I've had to distance myself from friends whose main form of entertainment seemed to be upsetting strangers over harmless disagreements. play a stressful video game. join a sports team. get into media analysis and get angry at a shitty tv show. there are ways to blow off steam that won't make you a miserable person who has a hard time finding ways to relax.
if I got out of that "get angry -> take it out on people -> feel good -> feel worse and need an outlet -> repeat" cycle, that means it's possible.
as soon as my efforts to escape that cycle started paying off, I was NOTICEABLY less stressed, I was VISIBLY healthier, and the urge to fight with people died down.
these days, I'm quick to delight, I find it very easy to be kind to people, and I can calm myself down before jumping to conclusions. and I can tell you with absolute certainty that life feels IMMEASURABLY more enjoyable this way. my good days outnumber my bad days 10 to 1 despite the fact that I still deal with the same things I used to, and those bad days are much easier than they used to be anyway.
but how do you even escape? what's the first step?
the next time you find yourself itching to lash out at someone to get that good rush of anger, try taking it to private dms with a friend who gets you! this stops the person you're angry at from responding and continuing the argument, which helps that reward-response feeling fizzle out.
from there, try a high-focus-high-stress fun activity instead of talking about it AT ALL. like I said earlier! video games! horror movies! go for a bike ride at full speed! let the cortisol and adrenaline or whatever it might be course through you until you feel calmer.
once you've got that down as a skill, you could even try flipping that anger on its head. MAKE something out of it. someone's artstyle pisses you off? make your own art the way YOU think it should be. someone hates something you like? talk with your friends about how that same something brings you joy, and why!
best of luck. been there. this isn't meant to be patronising or condescending. I don't know better than you. I only know how good it feels, and how bad it can be for you and the people you care about.
i have a suggestion for relieving stress
you know what that's a good outlet too probably
