i, a rock collector, had to go to the ER yesterday because of a gallstone attack, here is how my father messaged me
thanks dad
That was the correct thing to say.
Claire Keane

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shark vs the universe
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@bellafuga
i, a rock collector, had to go to the ER yesterday because of a gallstone attack, here is how my father messaged me
thanks dad
That was the correct thing to say.

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oh my god
it got worse... somehow
5 simple exercises to awaken dormant muscles
{source}
I appreciate this video a lot--people don't realize how important it is to start slow if you're trying to come back from a completely sedentary lifestyle, and they get really hurt as a result. Straining your muscles too much, too suddenly can land you in the E.R. and the wrong joint injury can permanently affect your mobility, so please start with absolute basics and easy stretches!
"rickrolling is mean" rickrolling is the gentle, kind, prosocial descendant of what we used to do on the internet, which was putting a redirect to goatse in every possible misspelling of a url
Rickrolling is deceptive, but it's among the most harmless forms of deception available
in other words, it may tell a lie, but it will never tell a lie and hurt you

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English added by me :)
Friends who have vision sensitivities do NOT go into the Odyssey unprepared. There are a LOT of lightning sequences that could count as strobing lights. The worst offender is obviously after the Sun Gods cows, but almost any storm scene has an abundance of lightning. It was almost too much for me in some places.
Headcanon that because Data doesn't need to eat he really only uses the replicator in his quarters for spot's food so whenever someone replicates something she thinks it's for her. Geordi gets a cup of coffee in the morning and spot hears the replicator sound and just immediately runs up to him meowing
It's so important to me that spot is an absolute menace and also Data's special little baby. She wants a snack so bad. She demands it
Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk
“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”
Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?
Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby
Husband: RIVETING!
Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️
Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!
Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk
All of tumblr collectively at my husband:
Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream
Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!
Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued
Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.
THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND
yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this
Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays
Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.
????
Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave
Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!
FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering
I have follow up questions:
1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?
1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?
I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.
Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂
So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂
Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.
Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she
1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night
2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day
3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together
I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

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hey not to advertise these twats (so don't look them up) but some absolute fucks in paris allegedly created a service where you can "rent air conditioning" (taking advantage of a climate apocalypse) and they make you pay 700€ a month for AC that costs 200€ for life.
image descriptions and translations:
[social media screenshot from Le Parisien, a french journal "renting instead of buying AC, the good deal proposed by [Don't-Look-Them-Up] mid-heatwave."]
[journal article from Le Parisien that reads: "renting instead of buying AC, the good deal proposed by [Don't-Look-Them-Up] mid-heatwave.
Since the start of the summer, acquiring an AC has been challenging. To answer to buyers who are faced with empty storefronts, [Don't-Look-Them-Up] has found a trick: the punctual rental of cooling units."]
ahem. and the review
[One-Star Review: Crooks that profit off of people's distress. He made me an offer for a 9000 BTu AC unit (valued at 280€) for 750€ per month. To avoid.]
they admitted in a video that they bought all the AC units DURING A BIG HEATWAVE all over Paris to empty all stocks, so that people would rely on them to get AC.
there were 3000 deaths due to the heatwave.
Which of the following moments in British politics was funniest?
David Cameron allegedly fucking a pig (2015)
Theresa May Brexit deal sees worst parliamentary defeat of any British PM (2019)
Dominic Cummings' social distancing scandal is named #Cumgate (2021)
Matt "Eat Out to Help Out" Hancock caught having affair with his aide (2021)
MP resignations reach critical mass under Boris Johnson (2022)
The Queen dies 2 days after meeting Liz Truss (2022)
Liz Truss who doesn't outlast head of lettuce (2022)
Nigel Farage has to run in by-election against Count Binhead (2026)
I'm American and I never read news from outside of my country
Something else entirely (I'll tell you in the tags)
Note: don't let your recency bias decide this, actually think back to what was the objectively funniest time on the internet.
Do you think after 90 minutes of playing soccer the men are ever like “I don’t want to play soccer anymore”
and if i said nolan's odyssey starring no greek actors and with no recognizable aspects of greek culture or involvement by greeks, is the direct legacy of white supremacist colonialism that treated ancient greece as not just the pinnacle of ancient culture, but of an artificially created "european" culture, which white western europeans and their settler descendants, as the new pinnacle of culture, were the sole spiritual inheritors of.
^^^ PEOPLE ARE STILL THERE. There's a metro station across the street from the colosseum where i found a hair in my pizza slice. We drove by ruins of an amphitheater next to a motorway in greece once. It's literally just real places where real people live and have lived. It's not mythical perfect lands that once existed. I went to Itacha in 2023 and there was not enough parking space.

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(via bsky)
In case anyone hasn't heard, the cyclospora outbreak affecting tons of people in the US right now is coming from Taylor Farms produce. Best to stay away from bagged lettuce and prepared salads completely right now, but especially the ones mentioned in the screenshot:
Taylor Farms Earthbound Farms Little Salad Bar (Aldi) Marketside (Walmart) Kroger House Brand Target private label greens Costco salads and greens etc Trader Joe's chopped salad kits and fresh produce Fast food: McDonalds, Taco Bell, (Yum! Brands), Chipotle, Subway, Pizza Hut, KFC, Olive Garden, Top Golf, Red Lobster, Burger King, etc.
This is not the first time I've heard about a Taylor Farms foodborne illness outbreak. I stopped eating their salads after reading a description of the conditions in their facilities. Doesn't sound like they've improved anything.
We need a fully funded and staffed FDA, and regulations with teeth - and that's exactly what we don't have under Trump. To make things worse, the CDC is no longer tracking these outbreaks. We're on our own.
there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar