Dream of Belleya

a single friend my world 🌏

This is one of my all-time favourite quotes, I use it a lot in my life, i have few friends only 2 to be exact, if i exclude my sister who is also in my friendship group.

However they mean the world to me because I know i can trust them with anything and know they have my back no matter what. They are in fact my world and if a single friend is one world that I am lucky enough to have two worlds.

#tag a friend

To each their own I suppose in the place they would like to do it.

My ideal place would be on the tallest mountain that I can find that Google maps can take me too in my immediate area, I am basically on a tinder for mountains and awaiting a mountain that takes my interest enough to swipe right on. For other people it will maybe be a beach or forest or even for the more extreme people, that statue that you have been eyeing off in the middle of a major traffic crossing just waiting for you to climb onto that brass horse, shout what you need to shout and get off before the police arrive to drag you off to an insane asylum like the crazy person you are.

Extreme people are fun, I like extreme people the world would be far too boring without them. After all isn't everone just a little bit crazy? Or as my favourite saying from alice in wonderland goes:

"Have I gone mad?"

"Absolutely i am afraid, completely bonkers but i will tell you a secret, all the best people are."

Did it ever cross your mind,

I could make it on my own,

Did you ever think i had a heart,

And that i was not that cold.

Did you ever stop to look at who i really am,

A soft heart, a kind love and not a damn demon.

You said i was worth nothing to you,

You said that my heart didnt deserve to break,

You said that all i am is not even real,

Well i guess you got one thing straight.

I can be as cruel as i am kind,

You have hurt me for the last time,

So now it is time for me to let you go,

Because it was never me... IT WAS ALWAYS YOU!

You cheated on me,

Emotionally stole from me,

Broke me down,

then dumped me out of town.

I was a mess for days,

an unwilling bird in a cage,

Grief and depression was the only thing remaining,

Trapped and tortured again and again.

My love to you was so good and true,

Loyal and loving i had thought you felt it too,

But was that all i was too you......

You knew i had trust issues,

So you worked to break down my walls,

You broke them down of course,

but you broke me too,

I loved you...

But i never meant a thing to you,

A thing to play with,

that is all i was to you.

You are cruel, mean and heartless,

So this i my breakup letter to you,

6 years in the making,

Because i cant hold this in anymore,

I cant keep yearning for the feeling,

Because it was never real!

You were my one,

My first,

My love,

But now you are also my last,

Love is hard,

Love is pain,

Love is cruel.

However there is much to gain,

While my mind is one of the kindest things i know, it is also one of the cruellest things that i know as well as a major a**hole... it can be full of compliments, smiles and laughs then the next second be jumping on your face like a freakin facehugger and impregnating you with your own doubts, insecurities and hurt. Weird thought i know but hey this is what this page is for afterall.

I am not going to spend forever on this post as i am not sure if anyone will even read this post or any others i may write but i hope i am voicing at least someone elses worries as well and help even a tiny bit with what i am saying.