BehindTrueThoughts

ace lesbian moodboard, for myself

🌹 ok to rb/use 🌹

Sometimes, people have ideas that sound so lgbt+-friendly! - and are in fact the opposite of helpful for lgbt+ people. 

An example for this is “Introducing yourself with your gender will make it easier for trans and nonbinary people to come out, if everyone is doing it! So, everyone should put their whole label in their blog description! And of course you can’t just write “girl”, you need to disclose whether you are a cis or trans girl, come on, we are trying to be trans-friendly here. I’ll start by putting a big fat CIS in my description.”. 

While that idea surely sounds good, it actually doesn’t help. It may even cause more harm than good. 

- It supports the harmful mindset that trans girls are not real girls. How so? By separating them from the word “girls”. A trans girl is simply that: A girl. She doesn’t need to add the word trans every time she introduces herself. “Girl” is enough because that’s what she is! Demanding her to call herself trans girl instead of simply girl makes it sound as if there’s a difference between girls and trans girls.. And there isn’t. They’re all girls. 

- Some people can’t safely disclose their whole label to the internet or to everyone they meet. 

-  It can lead to people feeling entitled to know someone else’s label. That feeling of entitlement could literally endanger people (see last point). 

- Some people feel uncomfortable disclosing their whole label to the internet or to everyone they meet. This idea could encourage people to shame lgbt+ people who are not “out & proud & loud” (accusing them of being fake or ashamed etc.). 

- While that may be well-meant,“Cis lesbian blog by a cis lesbian!” as a blog description sounds suspiciously like “Trans lesbians are not welcome here” or “Trans lesbians are not real lesbians to this blogger” and does not make me feel safer. The opposite actually: It makes me question why you feel the need to point out you’re cis, perhaps you’re transphobic? 

But, of course, people who believe that idea is a great idea are usually not the devil in person. They want to help and that’s great - but help without listening to input from the one you try to help simply doesn’t work. 

If you notice such well-intentioned but harmful ideas, do not be afraid to speak out if you safely can do so. You’re not being “ungrateful” or “greedy” or “try to make it all about you” - Lgbt+ support should be about you, not about making straight, cis people feel good about themselves.  

With all my love,