Working On Me

Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush

Get the FREE Kindle Reading App

Veins everywhere?

gorgeous~

Skin patches? Birthmarks?

hella rad~

Scars? Stretch marks?

beautiful~

Freckles? Moles? Acne scars?

heckie yeah~

Large? Curvy?

lovely~

Small? Thin?

charming~

Missing a few pieces?

handsome as ever~

Feel like you just look weird?

Slowly getting a tan from the light on my phone I peel my eyes away and realise I have a life of my own. The sound of a car door being slammed outside wakes me up So naturally I go straight to my coffee cup. I’m lost in a maze of reminders of memories and faded thoughts Of photobooth smiles and all the feelings that I caught. It’s been a long time since I reflected upon the memories of my future self It’s been a long time since I cared about my own health.

I fidget with my fingers Uncomfortable in my own skin I don’t want to open my mouth I’m trying to keep my thoughts in. I’m trying to keep my thoughts in. I’m trying. But when they ask if I’m okay I’m smiling whilst I’m lying. Of course I’m fine, I’ve never been better I’m the picture of happiness right down to the last letter. Except I forgot to sign off properly

Oh wait. 2 new notifications I’m slowly losing all motivation It’s hard to think of life When you’re watching everyone else waste theirs Through pixilated mobile screens Fighting the brightness and the glares. But everyone likes to share. Tales of what they ate, how they can’t wait to save Their crumbling relationships through a night they dedicate to a date. Behave mate.

How can you be in love with a moment When you’re taking pictures constantly Sharing everything you can see, Through the lense of a camera Truman show, except you’re the host And apparently the person who cares the most. Look at me, look at me I need some affirmation Give me likes, give me a notification.

I’ve replaced my own vision And through proxy I can see Everything I never care for through a social norm of mediocrity Of confirming to an audience I need to please.

I can’t wait until I pass away And all my grandkids and kids can say ‘I was so proud of all he achieved He did the things you wouldn’t believe Yeah, he put his own dreams on hiatus But once got 50 likes on a status He once got 100 more for sharing his thoughts on a tv show He left us all these memories, Go on have scroll’