And Forgive

(no beers in) does anyone wanna keep me as their house pet forever

If you have a PhD or an MD you can say shit like “Doctor’s orders” and you sound authoritative and powerful but if you’re a step short of those and you say “Master’s orders” you sound cringe as hell and possibly corrupted by the One Ring, this sucks

mutual you didn't tell me that post you made four months ago about you wanting to fuck the water cycle had been blowing up this whole time omg I had to stumble across it on my dash already at 57k notes. you have to tell me these things

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

notice how everyone is horny today

the nhl should make neck guards mandatory it's crazy that they're risking their neck in such a dangerous sport *porn mag with a bunch of men with collars on falls from my pocket* uhhh ignore that

Can the people who have the Four copies of witch hat atelier volume 14 in my library system READ FASTER so I can get my hands on it PLEASE im DYING

Went to paw forlornly at the library website and I'm now SECOND in line you love to see it. Inching ever closer.........

FIRST IN LINE. LET ME INNNNN

Can the people who have the Four copies of witch hat atelier volume 14 in my library system READ FASTER so I can get my hands on it PLEASE im DYING

Went to paw forlornly at the library website and I'm now SECOND in line you love to see it. Inching ever closer.........

FIRST IN LINE. LET ME INNNNN

women's thighs. you agree. reblog.

you will struggle to say the unsayable thing for five years straight. and then it will suddenly become easy on a Wednesday morning

Literally what being transgender is like

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

everytime u go outside ur spending $60 automatically its crazy $60 is the new $20

Stop buying food and coffee and make it at home. I'm begging everyone.

ok well i filled up my car with gas and got cat food for my cats so idk how this applies to me also the “don’t buy coffee anymore” thing is rlly annoying from ppl acting like buying coffee is the reason ppl r struggling to keep purchases under 20 dollars instead of capitalism inflating prices for shareholders to buy another five houses like. eventually yall gotta stop doing the “no more avacado toast!” thing to ppl bc there is no budgeting that is enough to outrun inflation

new nemesis dropped

Hey, we can talk this out. We don't have to fight

WHO ARE YOU