Beeble

just unironically said "Wow! 💋 Someone's excited 💖" at my handsoap because it sprayed so hard it hit the wall across from the sink. The internet has poisoned me.

Me when I open a yoghurt and it splurts all over my face

what a lot of people don't realize is that you can't actually be born in real life. the concepts of pregnancy, birth and motherhood are a scam made up by Fromsoftware in 2015 to sell more copies of Bloodborne

i wish drawing was a real thing that you could actually do

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

Did you know that um…. (remembers that words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm) …………

when u touch an unaware cat and they make that small surprised sound reblog if u agree

cutting your own hair is fun because a) if you mess it up you can tell people "well, i did it myself" and they will instantly understand that they should not be holding your haircut to hairdresser standards b) if you DONT mess it up then whenever you get a compliment on your hair you can say 'thanks, i did it myself!' and they will think you are even cooler than you already are. trust me works every time.