what’s the mood tonite

when i was in fifth grade, me and a tour bus full of my classmates were going on an ‘educational trip’ across state lines to see a civil war POW camp. because sure. fifth graders love learning about emaciated corpses and starvation! but that’s not the point of the story. the point of the story is that they played movies on that bus, and they decided to play Madagascar…. and my god, if you haven’t heard a bus full of 80 children jump and scream in time to “I Like To Move It” you haven’t witnessed the full raw power of the human condition. the bus shook. the windows rattled. we lost our damn minds. the driver almost crashed the bus because he wasn’t expecing a fucking kamehameha wave of sound from the bus’ occupants. needless to say they didn’t take us across state lines ever again.

I seriously cannot handle this.

what the fuck britain

how does ABBA have so many bangers

ABBA stands for ‘Absolute Bangers Brought Always’

concept: the year is 2034. i walk into work with coffee in hand. coworker is wearing cool shoelaces and i compliment them absentmindedly. they look me dead in the eye and say, “thanks, i stole them from the president.” scalding coffee leaks out of every one of my orifices and i hide in the bathroom convulsing for the rest of the day

@elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey can you explain this i don’t understand

it is physically painful to remember that people have continued to join tumblr since 2012 and that there are people–perhaps people reading this! right now!!!–who don’t have the foggiest memory of this fucking post.  this post haunted me, do you understand, i saw and heard this code used in REAL FUCKING LIFE, I CANT FKJCLNG HANDLE THIS

can u imagine a family member going through your phone after you died and be like “this nasty bitch…. RIP tho”

my kink is avoiding a popular song, riding out it’s popularity & over-saturation & then enjoying it during it’s decline

i need everyone on this website to stop posting weird shit right now. no more wanting to fuck slave owners or evil clowns that represent childhood trauma. no more shipping two brothers’ tabletop roleplaying game characters together . no more of. what was the last thing i saw. this fetish comic where the dice object head from cuphead was pouring poison into cupheads cup. no more of any of that. lets all be normal for a day

driving sux because you can get killed. thanks henry ford you fucking jackass.