The first time Vace showed up at Cal and Tammy’s doorstep, Sol’s hand clutched tightly in his, Cal nearly decked that asshole in the face.

Instead, he forced a smile as Tammy welcomed the two in for dinner. Echinacea babbled in her arms, and Cal watched from the door as Sol strode in, squeezing Vace’s hand with reassurance as the two audibly admired the decor of the quarters Cal and Tammy shared. Sol, his best friend, was somehow dating the absolute worst person on Vertumna.

When Sol had mentioned they were seeing someone, that had thrown Cal for enough of a loop. Sol? Dating someone? The idea had never dawned on him. That’s why the revelation that it was Vace they were seeing nearly threw him into a rage.

“He’s so violent, Sol!” Cal had nearly shouted, alerting the farmers near them as they worked the fields of geoponics. “I thought you hated him as much as I do!”

“I did! But-“

“‘But’ what? What is there to ‘but’ about?” Cal felt confused more than anything. Hurt, too. Sol’s choice ... it felt like a betrayal. He didn’t want to think about it too hard, so he went back to work digging up weeds.

“He’s been going to therapy for nearly a year now, Cal. And he’s really turned over a new leaf! He can actually be really sweet when he wants to.”

Cal huffed. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”

Sol was quiet for a moment, and Cal knew from the wrinkle between their eyes that they were thinking hard about something. Finally, they spoke again.

“Then invite us over for dinner or something, I don’t know. He’d probably really appreciate it, too. He’s been talking about wanting to apologize to you.”

Cal rolled his eyes. “Vace doesn’t appreciate anything. You remember how he treated Nem?”

Sol chewed the inside of their lip for a moment. Cal almost thought he’d won. Then,

“He’s working on that,” they started. Cal leaned back on his calves and folded his arms, not caring that his dirty gloves were mucking up his shirt. He had more important things to focus on.

“How?” His eyebrow raised as Sol swallowed.

“He’s apologized, and-“

Cal couldn’t stop his bark of annoyed laughter as he leaned forward again to pluck another weed. “Oh, yeah, that’ll fix everything he did.”

“And,” Sol continued as if he hadn’t cut them off. “She’s been coming with us to his therapy appointments. They’ve been talking it out, and I think he’s making really good progress.”

That gave Cal pause, and he paused, the weed still in hand. He didn’t lift his head to look at Sol, but in his periphery, he could see they were tearing the weed in their hands to bits. They sounded genuine enough...

“Fine,” Cal said, leaning back once more and shaking his hair out of his face. “You can bring him over. Once. But the minute he does something I don’t like - and I mean that - he’s out, and I never want to hear about it again.”

Sol extended a hand, then, and Cal had shaken it.

Stars, why did I agree to this? Cal wondered, watching from across the table as Vace hit it off with Tammy while Sol helped feed Echinacea. It had to have been a fluke: Tammy could befriend anyone, because she was just that good a person. But Vace? Vace was still an asshole, therapy or not.

But that asshole didn’t slip up the entire night. Not once. And that almost pissed Cal off more than the thought that Sol liked this guy. Almost.

True to Sol’s word, Vace even apologized. For everything. In detail. Cal didn’t know what else to do except nod and offer a tight-lipped smile. The sight of Sol’s frown at that nearly broke his heart, so he’d accepted the apology quickly and carried on eating. By the time the two left, Vace had even made Echinacea laugh, and he and Sol had planned with her to come back the same time the following month.

Cal was quiet that night as he helped Tammy clean up after Sol and Vace left. Apparently, it was uncharacteristic of him, because Tammy called him out for it in her own sweet way as soon as Echinacea was asleep.

“He doesn’t seem so bad,” Tammy said when Cal didn’t reply. She always knew what he was thinking. It was almost annoying sometimes, how well she knew him. He could never hide anything from her, not without her knowing right away that he was. Sometimes Cal swore Tammy knew him better than he knew himself. He used to think of it as a blessing, but lately, he wasn’t so sure.

“I still don’t like him,” Cal said finally, pushing the awful thought away and focusing back on what had gotten him upset in the first place.

“I know,” Tammy replied, and Cal sighed as he sat on the couch. Tammy sat beside him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “No one is asking you to.”

“Sol deserves better.”

Tammy gave a small, sad smile as her hand traveled from Cal’s shoulder to his own hand, resting on his knee, and gave it a squeeze. “Maybe. But they seem to really like Vace. And he seems to like them, too.”

That’s the part I don’t like, Cal stopped himself from saying. It felt like too much. He didn’t know why.

But Tammy was right. The whole night, Vace only ever spoke with kindness, and only ever looked at Sol with admiration. It was weird to see that kind of expression on his face. The same one Cal used to give Tammy when they were young and smitten. It made him sick.

Why did it bother him so much that Vace seemed to genuinely like Sol? It’s not like he wasn’t allowed to like them. But Cal always thought Sol had better taste than that. His mind wandered again to how he’d never considered Sol in a relationship before. It had always been unfathomable, the idea that they would spend that kind of time and energy on anyone other than him.

Wait, what? Cal’s shoulders tensed. Where had that thought come from? Never, never had he thought of Sol in that way before. They were his best friend. They were always right there for him. But they were never an option, not when Tammy was right there, so good, so perfect.

“You’ve got a lot on your mind,” Tammy said, finally capturing Cal’s attention once more. “Kudos for your thoughts?”

Cal just gave her an apologetic smile and squeezed her hand. “I just need time to adjust, I guess,” he settled on. He knew Tammy could tell that wasn’t all he was thinking about, but he thanked the stars when she didn’t push. That was Tammy, after all: never pushing his boundaries, never waiting to overstep. Sometimes he wished she would, just once, just to feel something different.

Stars, Cal thought to himself as Tammy disappeared into their room, leaning back on the couch and pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. What a horrible thing to think.

But it was the truth, wasn’t it? He’d been avoiding it for some time, too, out of fear of what might happen if he lingered on it for too long. He’d always seen Tammy as the best anyone could be, the perfect person on a pedestal of greatness. But maybe it was the bobberfruit wine, or the therapy talk at dinner, but Cal was starting to think maybe it wasn’t healthy to hold Tammy up to those impossible standards.

But she’d always met them, right? Except for a spare few qualms that Cal pushed from his mind as soon as they appeared, he couldn’t think of anything Tammy had done wrong. She’s perfect, he had to remind himself as he got up and prepared for bed.

Tammy is perfect, he thought again as he kissed her forehead before turning over to get some rest.

But can a person be too perfect?

-

The second time Vace showed up at Cal and Tammy’s doorstep, his arm draped over Sol’s shoulder, Cal had to bite back a scathing backhanded comment. Instead, he put on an almost welcoming smile and stepped aside for the two to enter his quarters. Tammy was just placing the last of the food on the table, and Vace immediately started making conversation with her about her recipes as Sol cooed over Echinacea.

The two couples’ second dinner went much the same as the first, with Cal spending as much of the time as he could focused on eating, just so he didn’t have to talk to Vace. The soldier seemed much more at ease, though, to the point that he even helped Sol remove the dinner plates as Tammy brought out dessert. To Cal’s chagrin, Tammy even let him feed Echinacea a few bites of food, and he had the gall to seem nervous about it.

And the whole time, Sol was simply beaming.

Sol, who Cal had never thought would fall in love with anyone, least of all Vace. Sol, who Cal always imagined would stay attached at his hip, like when they were kids. Sol, who Cal was realizing he’d spent his whole life taking for granted.

As he powered through his dessert, Cal tried desperately not to think of all the times he’d pushed Sol away because Tammy was right there. They didn’t stop coming, though; the sheer number of incidents were overwhelming. Cal had to dismiss himself to the lavatory. Sol made a joke of some sort, but all Cal could focus on as he left the room was Vace’s laughter.

Cal stared at himself in the mirror, barely recognizing who he saw. For the first time in his life, he didn’t know what he wanted, nor what to do about it. He’d spent the past month avoiding the thought that maybe he wasn’t completely happy with his life. He’d been brushing it off as annoyance at Sol’s choice in partners, but that brought on a whole other can of sugarbugs.

Because after seeing how happy Vace made Sol, Cal was starting to think that his frustration was less that Sol is with Vace and more that Sol isn’t with him. And that was the most sickening thought yet. Bile rose in his throat as dinner threatened to make a reappearance, but when Cal flushed the toilet, he was grateful it was only to keep up appearances. Even so, he washed his hands before heading back out to the main room of his quarters.

His stomach dropped when he saw Sol and Vace nose-to-nose on the couch, beaming at each other, Tammy’s singing drifting from the bedroom as she put Echinacea to bed. Vace caught sight of Cal first and backed up, apologized, and took Sol’s hand while Cal’s brain rebooted. He knew he had no right to feel jealous, which made him want to run back into the washroom. Instead, he forced himself to put one foot in front of the other until he was sitting down across from Sol and Vace.

Somehow, Cal made some small talk before Tammy joined and struck up a lively conversation, just like she always did. Cal quickly and gladly faded into the background, but he couldn’t help but notice that Sol smiled at everything Vace said, like any proud partner should. It made him wish Sol would smile at him like that. And that thought made his stomach twist.

Later that night, after Sol and Vace had left for their respective quarters, Cal had more than ever on his mind. He knew Tammy could tell something was up, but she gave him space that time. Cal was simultaneously glad beyond belief and upset at the lack of a distraction. He said little as Tammy prattled on about how they should make their dinners a monthly thing, how she’d had such a great time, how the new couple both seemed happier. Cal gave short replies, trying and failing to seem present, right up until Tammy fell asleep with a sweet kiss on his forehead.

Cal lay awake, the image of Sol and Vace on his couch burned into his mind. The awful feeling that he wished it had been himself there instead of Vace was adamant, forcing its way back each time Cal shoved it out. It was the last thing on his mind as he fell asleep.

-

The third time Vace showed up at Cal and Tammy’s doorstep, Sol’s arm wrapped around his waist, Cal could have screamed. Instead, he offered a falsely warm smile and invited the couple in once more. As they entered, Sol presented Cal with a wrapped gift - an early birthday gift to him, from both of them. Tammy clapped with glee and rushed them to the couch for him to open it, and damn if it wasn’t perfect. It seemed simple: a gardening trowel, but he needed one, and this one was a replica of his favourite model. Engraved on the trowel’s handle was Cal’s full name. He nearly gawked when Sol pointed out that part was Vace’s idea.

After Cal put the trowel with his other tools and joined the others for dinner, he brought himself to speak directly to Vace a few times, without proverbially biting the guy’s head off. Sol noted they were pleased that he’d started warming up to their partner, and Cal was about to agree when Vace spoke first.

“It means a lot that you’ve been so accepting,” he started, then beamed at Sol. “Then again, you did say he would be eventually, Love.”

Cal smiled at Vace, for the first time in his life considering starting a fight. But he knew he’d only end up bloody and bruised and probably missing a tooth if he tried messing with Vace’s ‘love.’ 

“Of course,” he managed.

Sol deserved better.

But am I really better?

The thought was horrifying, but Cal had to confront it sometime. And he already knew the answer.

He wasn’t. He was much, much worse, and he felt more remorse about that fact that he had about anything in his life. He was actively falling out of love with the woman he’d always intended to marry, and he was actively falling in love with his best friend, who was clearly infatuated with someone he’d rather die than be friends with. Vace, of all people.

Vace, who seemed more relaxed than ever chatting with Tammy and making funny faces at Echinacea. Vace, who looked right at home with his arm around Sol’s shoulders, planting kisses in their hair after a few glasses of bobberfruit wine. Vace, who had no idea what an incredible person he was lucky enough to be in love with.

Say hello to Sidney! (Parasitic) Less receptive to Sid.

Name origin: A type of symbiotic relationship Augment: AI Construct Job: Explorer/Biologist Pronouns: She/he (uses feminine titles)

Mysterious woman who replaced Siderazot.