WAYS TO SAY YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD
I. The Red Sea has breached it's borders.
II. My uterus has declared war on the rest of my body.
III. There is a crime scene in my pants.
IV. The ancient blood ritual has begun.
V. My womb is shedding it's wallpaper with violent enthusiasm.
VI. The gates of hell have opened, and they're surprisingly crampy.
VII. My reproductive system chose violence today.
VIII. A Victorian child would have written a tragic poem about my current condition.
IX. I'm losing enough blood to satisfy a minor deity.
X. My uterus is performing an exorcism.
XI. The monthly sacrifice is underway.
XII. My insides are being wrung out like a haunted dishcloth.
XIII. The crimson tide has arrived with military force.
XIV. My ovaries have released a strongly worded complaint.
XV. There is a category-five storm in my lower abdomen.
XVI. My uterus is peeling itself like an angry sunburn.
XVII. The blood moon rises once more.
XVIII. I am being stabbed by an invisible goblin who lives behind my pelvis.
XIX. My body has entered it's regularly scheduled demolition phase.
XX. The elevator scene from a horror movie is currently happening in my underwear.
For a more romantic style:
I. The moon has collected her debt. My womb weeps scarlet, and every step feels like a curse written in bone.
II. A thousand tiny executioners have taken residence beneath my ribs, while an endless river of red escapes in tribute to the old gods.
I. My uterus has filed for bankruptcy and is shredding all it's documents.
I. The ancient blood ritual has begun. A thousand tiny executioners have taken residence beneath my ribs, while an endless river of red escapes in tribute to the old gods, and I'm losing enough blood to satisfy a minor deity.
bedtimeblues p.s. Lola Gore
