Plot twist
Harry Potter wakes up in hospital. “Welcome back. You’ve been in a coma for 8 years” says the doctor. “You ran face first into a wall lmao”
NO
Plot Twist:
Mrs Weasley makes all her kids volunteer at the hospital, and she encourages ron to go talk to the coma patient who’s his age that no one ever visits
hermione is a smart girl who volunteers to read to coma patients in the hospitals
at first ron is like “back the fuck off, this is my gig” cause he’s 11 and he doesn’t like girls yet, but soon the two of them start to get along, and they talk to each other and pretend to include comatose harry in the conversation.
and ginny, who is still totally a badass, but also a hopeless romantic, kisses him like he’s sleeping beauty and might wake up
they both get weirdly protective of the boy the same age as them, who’s been in a coma for so long, and get really mad when the Dursleys decide to pull the plug
(petunia actually feels bad about it, because she did love her sister and harry is all there is left of her)
so ron and hermione hatch this elaborate scheme to keep harry alive by moving him around the hospital, so the doctors can’t ever find him
they get caught, and harry gets taken off life support and monitor gives out one long beep, and he’s dead
and then suddenly his heart starts beating again, and he blinks is eyes and sits up and goes “Ron? Hermione? …you don’t look how i pictured…”
and it turns out that harry really did have a lot of money left to him by his parents, and if he’d died the dursleys would have gotten all of it (vernon’s evil plot, prolly), but it’s 8 years later and he’s legal and gets all of it
but Mrs. Weasley totally takes him in because all of the weasley have grown fond of him over the years, despite never really getting to know him.
PS: hagrid was the janitor that talked to harry during the night shift
PPS: snape was the orderly who was always a little too rough with harry when cleaning him up or changing his sheets, because he didn’t give a fuck the kids in a coma, but then was surprisingly helpful to ron and hermione when they were trying to keep harry alive
*slams fist on table* YES
Neville visits his parents who are patients in the same hospital. Sometimes he sits and talks to Harry.
And Dumbledore was an old patient at the hospital who has brain problems and always found his way into Harry’s room, and would always say weird, but helpful stuff to Harry
