fiquei de xereca

NON-freaks dni. This is a freaks only zone

homoeroticism of stabbing someone’s eyes out wait no this was meant to be a surgery post fuck

anyway the homoeroticism of painting your hands with someone else’s blood all warm and getting it under your fingernails and feeling it dry

nevermind i just remembered i should be cooped up in a cage and not allowed to ever talk to anyone incase i get ideas POST CANCELED

Noooo :( come back

THE POST IS BACK ON the homoeroticism of gently running a knife down someone’s chest and putting a hand on their stomach to steady them and feeling them shake under what you’re doing to them and their breath hitch and their hands clench and them try to stay as still as possible but still end up shifting under your knife causing it to just rip further into them

the homoeroticism of pulling their chest apart with your hands

the homoeroticism of reaching into their chest and brushing your fingertips against their organs and petting them and feeling them twitch and work. the homoeroticism of shifting around their organs and mapping every crevice of their body onto your hands. the homoeroticism of gathering up a part of their intestines in your hands and holding them oh so gently and slotting their organs back into their skin. the homoeroticism of dragging your hands up their organs. the homoeroticism of watching their lungs pump and then getting to feel the stutter as they gasp for breath for yourself. the homoeroticism of plucking their heart out of their chest and cradling it in your hands.

the homoeroticism of putting them back together of making sure you arranged everything back just right (even though it’ll never be the same as it was before) and sewing them shut of leaving evidence. the homoeroticism of letting them fall asleep in a puddle of their own blood and carding your bloody fingers through their hair when they’re asleep

Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of someone else's actions that I am directly impacted and severely affected by

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

Why are all the 'x reader' fics I see mostly smuts? Don't get me wrong, they're great and all but I barely see any fluff or angst around here. I literally just want to feel things without the character lusting over the reader 😭

When you see an adolescent saguaro 👍

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

I have a bisexual guppy and its funny as hell to watch because it seems like he’s only bi out of desperation. Like all of the female guppies are unimpressed by him, and dont accept his mating displays, and every time he fails, he goes over to a SPECIFIC male guppy (the prettiest male guppy in the tank) like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and that male guppy always lets him????

i would read that fanfic ngl

About my fish??

FUJOSHI FISH????

do NOT trust your own thoughts that everyone hates you. the curse of the blood moon is imminent. it's not you. it's ganondorf

i need to [remembers suicide jokes lower your self esteem] free the four divine beasts and vanquish calamity ganon

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know