Wanted Dead Or Alive?

History will always repeat itself. I always get reminded of that.

I know I’m not gonna get the truth so I’m not even gonna ask anymore.

Yesterday was my 20th birthday. I honestly didn’t think I would make it this far but you helped me overcome the shit in my past and for that I will be forever grateful. Thank you.

When will I stop expecting people to love and care for me as much as I do them?

I often think I’m too difficult to deal with and a burden. It seems anytime I’m upset no one really knows how to help and just brushes me off. In my mind, I know exactly what I want for comfort and it seems so simple. Idk if I’m just too complicated or I try to find comfort in the wrong people.

I’m sorry I overthink and ruin our day. I’m sorry I don’t know how to express my feelings properly. I’m trying I really am, but if my whole life I’ve been told to bite my tongue... it’s hard to break a habit.

You constantly tell me that you want to know whenever I’m hurting or feeling bad but every time I do you’re never there. You’ll leave me on delivered or answer every 30-60 minutes. So what’s the point if you’re never there when I need you?

I hate your inconsistency. It makes me question everything. How can you show me so much love one day and then act like I don’t exist the next?

If your significant other messaged you right now saying that they are having a breakdown and feel the need to sh, what would you do? Genuine question, what’s your first response.?

Nothing changes. It’s just the same shit over and over and over and over and over.

I just want to feel like enough for once.

Every time I think I’m getting better, I fall right back to where I was all over again. I’m so tired.