BEAU.EXPOSED

Just For Today November 28 Being Ourselves “To be truly humble is to accept and honestly try to be ourselves.” Basic Text pg. 35 Humility is a puzzling concept. We know a lot about humiliation, but humility is a new idea. It sounds suspiciously like groveling, bowing, and scraping. But that’s not what humility is at all. True humility is, simply, acceptance of who we are. By the time we reach a step that uses the word “humbly;” we have already started to put this principle into practice. The Fourth Step gives us an opportunity to examine who we really are, and the Fifth Step helps us accept that knowledge. The practice of humility involves accepting our true nature, honestly being ourselves. We don’t have to grovel or abase ourselves, nor must we try to appear smarter, wealthier, or happier than we really are. Humility simply means we drop all pretense and live as honestly as we can. Just for today: I will allow knowledge of my true nature to guide my actions. Today, I will face the world as myself.

Daily Reflections November 28 ATTRACTION, NOT PROMOTION Through many painful experiences, we think we have arrived at what that policy ought to be. It is the opposite in many ways of usual promotional practice. We found that we had to rely upon the principle of attraction rather than promotion. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 180-81 While I was drinking I reacted with anger, self-pity and defiance against anyone who wanted to change me. All I wanted then was to be accepted by another human simply as I was and, curiously, that is what I found in A.A. I became the custodian of this concept of attraction, which is the principle of our Fellowship’s public relations. It is by attraction that I can best reach the alcoholic who still suffers. I thank God for having given me the attraction of a well-planned and established program of Steps and Traditions. Through humility and the support of my fellow sober members, I have been able to practice the A.A. way of life through attraction, not promotion.

Took advantage of the day yesterday and went to Toronto Island for the first time

I forgot how much I love tall buildings in the fog

Riot Festival and Exposition 2015

Day 50, it lives.

"The fundamental addiction is to the fleeting experience of not being addicted" Gabor Maté - In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts

"No external remedy improves our condition without, at the same time, making it worse"

Long walks on the beach, cargo ship graveyards, and moist towelettes.

August 8th: Responsible Recovery

By the time I finish writing this I will have 14 days clean. Doesn't sound like much, but, some of those 14 days were lived one hour at a time, and I'm proud and extremely grateful for every single one of them, good or ... total hell. Part of the NA literature is "Just for Today" which is a book of different things to reflect on for every day of the year. I've been posting art by Keith Harring that I think perfectly fits my situation or expresses my interpretation of Keith's work. I've been writing a bit too, when I feel compelled, or when I find the time. It's crazy, trying to not shove bullshit in my veins has been a full time job. Anyway. Today's "Just for Today" was to write down a list of people or mental and spiritual ideals that you are grateful for. It's funny because just 15 days ago, that list would have been nonexistent and I would have told you to go fuck yourself if you asked me to write it. But since I gave myself a break, stopped lying to myself, and started NA... I'm going to need more than one day to write my gratitude list. I am so lucky, and so blessed, and so thankful for everything in my life. Past, present, and future. I could write a small dissertation just how/who/what I'm thankful for, but i think I can sum it up like this: Thank you.

August 7th: The Gratitude List

Wait...? Lovebot actually exists?!

Lovebot 2.0

August 2nd: Honesty

Guilt - August 1st 2015