We Did It, Em

Fanfiction is cool because you get to learn what other people's parents taught them the hymen is like

I know that I had somewhat unusually comprehensive sex ed but it still surprises me every time I'm reminded that some people genuinely think that losing your virginity is a capri sun kind of situation.

“Hear me out” and it’s the most conventionally attractive alien father figure you’ve ever seen

honey he has a fish for a head

So what, all of a sudden mermaids aren't hot?

My Name is 8 PM. and I am always arriving when you atrent Looking

M Nm s 8 PM. nd m lws rrvng whn y trnt Lkng

if you two had a baby it would be a regular sentence. or perhaps silence.

‎

Right.

I asked my five year old cousin what he would do if there was a scary skeleton and he said "I would pour water on it and then kick it" and I've been losing my shit laughing crying about a wet skeleton for about fifteen minutes straight

meowth voice: today I’m takin james to da clinic to get an aboition

aw what the hell change my leitmotif to a minor key im not driving

Honestly humans should be able to deploy little parasitic creatures called “learnlets” to go learn new things, or discover hidden ideas, and then return in the evenings

You have to eat them for dinner or other evening meal to gain their knowledge okay

you can seek out and eat the learnlets of your enemies for the purposes of war

I don't have time for sex, I'm too busy running a blog that only 11 or 12 people care about

i’ve said it before but i wish vaginas didn’t cost money

you literally can not have a vagina without paying for it. vaginoplasty for some, period products for others, if you want to stop buying period products that’s gonna be expensive medicine or an expensive procedure, recovery from surgery requires time off work and vaginoplasty specifically requires money spent on dilators. our bodies shouldnt cost us this much on baseline. having a vagina shouldnt have such a hefty tax on it. it makes me feel like i’m in a fictional dystopia written for middle school classrooms when i think about it.

yeah yeah rainbow capitalism is bad and whatever but like. when I was a child, being pro gay was not the popular or lucrative choice. I'm happy that times have changed.

I miss rainbow capitalism. I do. I miss when it felt like public opinion was still pro gay. I understand it was always an empty gesture, but it mattered in a sense of knowing how socially acceptable being queer is. If that makes sense.