For RL kink shenangians. May include nudity, sexuality, etc. May also include criticism of certain relationship practices and public space conduct. And overanalyzing everything. My main/fandom blog is theragnarokd.tumblr.com .
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Had a post now where I got frustrated at doms who think they know their subs better than the subs know themselves, as though holding a whip gave you some kind of special insight.
Then I was like. Wait. Is that something I do?
Like - okay. Mental states where a person can't make their own decisions exist. This is why people so drunk they can't recognize their surroundings can't consent.
In the act of domming, most doms accept they will be putting their subs in some kind of altered state - trance, subspace, whatever. It is understood if during a session a sub asks you for something they nixed earlier, you should refuse, because their judgement is impaired.
Similarly, people can make bad decisions out of inexperience or low standards or bad mental health. As a dom if I believe this is the case, I do think I have a duty to give the person as much information as I can in an effort to let them make an informed decision.
But the difference is, ultimately - each person is the only source of truth regarding their own experiences. And they have their autonomy, and violating that is horrible.
I can make predictions about people with the information I have. They may agree or disagree, the predictions may be correct or incorrect. But ultimately - if I put them somewhere they don't want to be, in the best case I made a horrible mistake, and in the common case I violated their consent and acted immorally.
All the negotiation techniques that exist ultimately come down to all sides knowing how to put the scene's participants in states they want to be in.
So I can make predictions, and give information, and let the person decide where they want to go. The destination may be "utter devotion" or "a world of pain" or "an action I genuinely wouldn't want to do left to my own devices (but doing it anyway fulfills some need for me)". But they choose it.
Maybe, with familiarity and trust and care and communication, some of the decisions may be given to the domming side. For me? That's not in my risk profile, not even a little.
And the doms I'm thinking about mostly operate with painfully partial and nuance-less knowledge, actively refusing to consider the source of knowledge right there in front of them: their sub, expressing wants and needs.
evil plan for today: make a hypno script for myself to have some fun while cleaning the house
first decision: do i want to be a robot, or an eldritch house deity
hmmm. what if i'm looking at this as an eldritch house deity possessing a human vessel.
well part of my brain is afraid that i'll actually call down a deity to possess me accidentally (I don't believe in this stuff but I'm an anxious person)
only capable of hooking up with girls who still want to hit after i call her some shit like "pernicious and evocative" because i can't just say her titties look soft like a normal person
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It's so cruel that anyone ever treated you like a person. It made poor puppy so confused having to pretend to be a person didn't it? You were clearly always meant to be a puppy. Too stupid to think for themselves, too helpless to function alone. But now you have mistress. Mistress will take care of you. Mistress will make sure you're never confused again.
[A hypnotic script for chest play, no gender specified
Highlight whited out lines to see content notes
Use of the words “mindless” and “blank”. The words “chest”, “tits” and “breasts” used. Light play with embarrassment. HFO command.
]
Hello. Thank you for joining me. I hope you're feeling comfortable. If you're not, now is the time to change position, or adjust the temperature, or get that glass of water you wanted. Just stop the file, make yourself comfortable, and start it again.
Now, are you feeling comfortable and safe? Very good. Then we can begin.
I want you to notice your body. Just - notice it. Feel your clothes resting on your skin, feel the air touching your face. Feel whatever your fingers touch, or just air, if they're not touching anything.
Now, imagine heat. maybe you can see yourself like an anatomical map, lit up; or maybe just feel it, the heat lighting up your body, from the scalp downwards and from the toes up. Your shins getting warmer, and your face. A comfortable, gentle, pleasant heat, in your shoulders and your thighs, going up to your belly.
Notice your sensations. Do your clothes maybe feel a little tight, constricting? Are you getting warmer? Your head may start feeling heavy. It's okay to let it down if you need to. To rest. It's okay if your eyelids are heavy, or if you're blinking a bit more often.
As you pay attention to your body, you might notice feeling some faint new sensation, maybe a tingle, or goosebumps, or someone petting your skin so gently you barely feel it - not tickling, but very gentle and very faint. you might notice this on your face, or your shoulders. or you might find it easy to imagine me trailing my fingertips over your skin, so gentle. Over your scalp, and your arms.
If you haven't closed your eyes yet, you might like to do that. It's easier to focus with your eyes closed, isn't it?
Don't you want to focus on my words?
you might notice tingles in your feet, traveling up your calves to your thighs, or on your neck, moving down to your shoulders. you might notice the warmth travelling all over your body. might imagine my fingertips trailing slowly down from your neck, all these sensations coming together.
converging at your chest.
you might feel a need to move a little, now. that's natural. it can be a bit awkward, to feel someone paying as much attention to your chest as i am. feeling the heat of my gaze over you, all over you, but stopping at the chest. looking at your nipples.
some people are sensitive enough that their nipples harden just from being looked at: are you one of them?
maybe usually your chest isn't so sensitive. today i'm going to focus my attention on it, and yours. whatever you feel is okay. just follow the sound of my voice, and think about your chest getting more and more sensitive.
only as sensitive as is enjoyable for you. and as it grows more and more sensitive, you might find, you crave contact there. you may want someone to touch your breasts. squeeze them, roll the nipples between their fingers, maybe pinch. maybe even bite.
wouldn't it feel so nice to be touched? wouldn't it feel so good to have hands stroking your tits? pinching them, gentle teeth on your nipples?
you might find, as i keep speaking, that your hands are drawn upwards. that you want to touch yourself. that's very okay. you can touch yourself, if you like, and know it pleases me.
it's good to see how sensitive you can become. how responsive. i love seeing your reactions, seeing how needy you get. isn't it good, to be so needy, to have that desired and celebrated? aren't you glad you can display yourself for me, knowing I love how you look?
when you become so sensitive, so many things can happen. you may want to let your mouth drop open, even let yourself drool. your thighs may want to open, too, expose you further to me. you may want to cup your breasts, the better to show them off.
and the more you touch your breasts, the better it feels. the better it feels, the more you want to touch them.
as you keep touching yourself, keep feeling so sensitive for me, your arousal will build up. feeling better and better, more and more turned on. wanting more and more to come.
Feel the warmth all over your body. Feel my fingertips, never quite reaching your chest, teasing everywhere else. Feel how good it is to follow my words.
touch your nipples. feel the heat under your skin, the tingling, the arousal all over, looking for a way out. feel your muscles tensing, wanting that orgasm so bad. wouldn't it feel so good to come? wouldn't that feel good?
you're so lovely like this, needy and wanting. so desperate. i love to watch you crave it. especially if you're drooling, especially if you're sitting pretty with your thighs spread, displaying yourself for me.
it may feel good, now, to beg me for permission. to say: please let me come.
did you try? did that feel good? give it a second try.
isn't it good to know i've made you beg, now? so embarrassing and so hot. play with your nipples for me. there's a good subject.
it's going to become more intense, now. as lost as you are in the sound of my voice, every word i say makes you hotter and hotter, more and more desperate to come. every single word winds you up. the more you want to come, the deeper you go; the deeper you go, the more you want to come.
do you want to beg again, subject? go ahead.
and now, i'm going to give you a task, and then you have my permission to come.
your task is to say, "thank you for playing with my needy tits".
can you do that? try it out.
if you did that, you might find it so much easier to come. like the orgasm is right there when you reach for it. like your body knows to obey me.
if you didn't say it, try it now. if you did, you can say it again, and make coming even easier.
now, if you've done as i said, you've been very good, and you deserve a treat.
play with your nipples. and when i say, 'good subject,' your orgasm will be so close, right where you can reach it. and you have my permission to take it.
three. feel how hot you are.
two. how needy your tits are for me.
one.
good subject.
if you want, you can try again. do the task again, have another chance to come, with my permission. or you can just coast on the high of listening to my words and obeying me, if that feels better.
say, "thank you for playing with my needy tits."
when you say the words i give you, it makes your body more eager to obey me.
i'm going to say those words again. and when i do, your body will do everything it can to reach that orgasm for me.
three. feel my fingertips teasing you.
two. the heat rising and your mind more blank.
one.
good subject.
and once more. do what feels good. do as i tell you.
say, "thank you for playing with my needy tits."
three. you are becoming so blank and obedient.
two. you're so cute with your tits out like this.
one.
good subject.
there you go.
let's start getting you back to yourself. are you ready?
notice your body again. the heat has served its purpose, and it can go. let yourself relax.
all the sensations are drifting away, leaving only the everyday sensations you know.
let yourself be in your body. let your mind occupy itself.
let's count to five.
one. back to yourself.
two. thoughts running clear and smooth.
three. every trigger I gave you will fade away, the words being only words once more.
four. almost awake.
five. awake.
now please take care of yourself. maybe drink some water, or have a snack. be kind to yourself.
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it's a special occasion for my carefriend (I called them my sub before but carefriend is the more accurate title) and I wanted to do something nice for them, and they asked for a combination of two things we've done before - thought-fuzzing (not quite IQ drain but making thoughts blurry and inaccessible) and catboy transformation. I suggested we try adding a sensation trigger for being petted, and they agreed.
We started with our usual premise, which is that I'm a magician and they're my familiar, through whom I channel magic. Our usual induction is me counting down and guiding them into sensing magic around them and inside them, but the last time they mentioned they didn't think they needed that, so we tried just telling them to sense magic: it worked but very faintly so we did the countdown again, albeit a shortened one.
Then I told them I'm summoning astral hands to transform them, and they might feel the hands, too. I did a countdown for growing their ears, with the astral hands rubbing their head until the ears grew. I installed a sensation trigger to make them feel petted whenever I said the word 'pet'. Then I counted down and had the hands rub their lower back to make their tail grow.
For the brain fuzzing, i had another pair of astral hands go into their head and knead their thoughts. I told them they didn't need to think, only be petted and purr, be warm and loved and comfortable like a cat in a sunbeam. Told them that the more I pet them the fuzzier their thoughts, and the fuzzier their thoughts the easier it is to be petted. I tried doing a bit of call and response to keep them under, and they started replying with emojis we put in our discord server for nonverbal play - which we haven't actually tried yet, just planned for, so it was so cool they used them.
We stayed like that for a lil bit. Then I took away the hands in their mind, unfuzzed it, took away the hands on their tail and ears and the petting trigger, and counted them up.
They still felt the ears and tails a little bit, but they wanted to keep them. I'll check on them their tomorrow morning and see if everything is good.
Can you advise on the line between kink and therapizing?
I may have had a scene just now where I instructed my subject to envision their inner emotional shields, they saw a walled city, and I inscribed a symbol in them to serve as a gate, and then went inside and cuddled them while they cried.
I'm a bit worried that "creating a trigger to access your hidden emotions" is more therapy-things than stuff it's safe to do with a non-professional partner, and I'd like to hear your thoughts on the subject.
Hi!
So- just to acknowledge: there's a lot of feeling around in the dark with what people are doing with hypnosis play and its' possible effects. There's not exactly research out there on the effects of emotional hypnosis play or even, like, best practice guidelines that a group of experts has formerly gotten together and written up on doing emotional hypnosis and kink play safely. I also don't know a lot about your play itself and your relationship. I can only kind of speak from my own experience here so- please take my opinion only for what it's worth in that context.
That all being said, I know I personally tend to be really, really cautious around doing this kind of emotional play. Firstly, if your play is turning into "treatment", that potentially brings in new forms of power and dependency that you may not be ready for in your relationship. There are good reasons why even trained mental health professionals aren't supposed to treat their friends and family- it can create resentment (being a healer is a hard role!), and it can make the person being "treated" way more suggestible to and way more emotionally dependent on the person doing the treatment, etc. This is part of the reason why self-help/therapy cults (like NVIXM or the Landmark Forum) have been successful in creating dependency early. Normal therapy has a ton of strict guidelines to keep that relationship healthy and useful.
That being said, kink can certainly be therapeutic ( "therapeutic" here meaning healthy and fulfilling). And people have certainly experienced some of the effects with kink that other people have gotten through regular therapy- like having a dominant partner who helps you stick to a healthy exercise schedule or helps calm you down if you're feeling anxious. I know my personal line where I get cautious with this kind of help is when it seems more like one person is trying to "fix" the other one- because that's usually no good either in- or outside of kink.
With hidden emotions, I know, for example, some people will do meditations to access these or access them through art and that will be a healthy and good thing for them. Accessing hidden emotions isn't automatically unhealthy. However, they're also often hidden for a reason- they're too much to cope with right now, they're protecting the person in some other way, etc. If you go into those too fast (even in a controlled environment like therapy), it can be too much for someone and that person can have bad effects or issues coping in general for a while. I'd advise against doing that without a lot of thought.
I'm really glad you were able to be there for your partner when they were upset! I'm sure that was helpful. It might be good to keep checking in on them and how they're doing over the next bit just to see if they could use some more support.
So- in conclusion, I'm glad you're asking about this and being thoughtful about this topic! Not knowing all of the details, I'm inclined to agree with your thinking- that trigger may have gone too far into therapy territory and it might be smart to leave it alone in the future. Every relationship and every situation is different, but if you're going into that kind of territory in your play, it's important to think together about WHY you're doing it/if what you're wanting is best accomplished through kink/do you both have a good sense of potential consequences and benefits/etc.
Thank you for asking me about this! I hope this helps and y'all make the best decision for you! :)
(Also- for some reason, I can't get Tumblr to erase this "Any Time" graphic I accidentally clicked on. Oh well- I guess it's relevant? )
The aim of the scene was emotional catharsis. The subject and I have been in a relationship for eight months, and we both find going near our emotional limits and crying about them fulfilling.
The crying, to the best of my knowledge, wasn't them being upset but cathartic crying as intended. I will absolutely check on them today and see how they're doing, but they told me they were feeling great after the scene itself, so that's promising.
To be less clinical about this - we both like it when I make them cry, which I usually do with carefully targeted praise.
I do worry about them, as they're younger and less experienced than I am. I asked them to also tell their therapist about the scene so she can help check if I've done any harm.
I don't feel a burden of therapy or like I'm changing them - just helping them craft metaphors to better access emotional states we both want them to experience. But you're right that this is an extremely tricky line, and I want to think more about potential risks - the dependency you mentioned worries me especially, and beyond staying away from this particular trigger, the question is what precautions I should take to avoid crossing it with other scenes 🤔
I'm pretty sure that was @spiralturquoise hypnotizing me. He got creative with inductions, which was very cool. Awesome experience, 10/10 would do again.
15. What other kinks do you like to incorporate into your hypno play?
Bondage and pet play are the big ones. I had some limited experience with pain triggers as a hypnotist, and I'd like to try that again.
32. Describe your biggest fantasy involving hypnosis?
....this is hard BC it doesn't feel like I have hypno fantasies? My main thought is "mm make my carefriend helpless and relaxed".
Now that I'm thinking about it, I like the idea of pretend brainwashing into sex slavery but like, with the specific context of someone who doesn't particularly like sex being made to want it to please me.
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1. How long have you been into hypnosis?
2. Describe your first experience with hypnosis
3. Are there any TV shows/movies/books you liked when you were younger that you think got you into hypnosis?
4. Are you primarily a hypnotist or a subject?
5. Are you primarily a dom/me or a sub?
6. What do you love about being hypnotised?
7. What do you love about hypnotising people?
8. How do you feel when hypnotised?
9. How do you feel when you hypnotise someone else?
10. Are you a difficult subject?
11. What’s your ‘signature move’ as a hypnotist?
12. What’s your favourite kind of hypnotic induction?
13. Do you like visual fixation (on spirals, eyes, swinging objects etc.) for hypnosis?
14. What are your favourite kinds of hypnosis play?
15. What other kinks do you like to incorporate into your hypno play?
16. For you, is the appeal of hypnosis primarily sexual or not?
17. What are some post-hypnotic suggestions you particularly enjoy (for others or yourself)?
18. Describe your best experience involving hypnosis
19. Describe a bad experience you had involving hypnosis? Why was it bad? Why did it go wrong?
20. What’s one tip you have for other hypnotists/subjects?
21. Do you have any tips for how to negotiate hypnosis play?
22. Do you like your hypnosis to involve power exchange, or not?
23. For you, how does hypnosis fit into a relationship? Just in the bedroom, or as part of BDSM relationship?
24. Are you interested in a 24/7 hypnotic enslavement relationship?
25. Have you ever experienced strong, sudden feelings for a hypnotist/subject? How did you deal with that?
26. Are you interested in hypnotising/being hypnotised by people of a gender you are not attracted to?
27. What’s your favourite work of hypnosis erotica?
28. What’s your favourite spiral?
29. What’s your favourite hypno-themed image/caption/piece of art?
30. What’s your favourite audio file/audio file producer?
31. What’s your favourite book/movie/TV show that includes hypnosis?
32. Describe your biggest fantasy involving hypnosis?
33. Do you have any fantasies about non-consensual hypnosis? Describe them
34. What’s one fictional character you’ve fantasised about hypnotising/being hypnotised by?
35. Do you like intelligence loss/bimbofication hypnosis? Why?
36. Do you like amnesia play? Why?
37. Do you like freeze triggers? Why?
38. Do you like pleasure triggers? Why?
39. Do you like alternate personalities created through hypnosis? Why?
40. Do you like feminization hypnosis? Why?
41. Have you ever experienced a “hands-free” orgasm as a result of hypnosis?
42. Which famous person do you think has the most hypnotic voice?
43. If you make hypnosis content, what’s your favourite piece of content you’ve made?
44. Have you ever used hypnotic conditioning to help you or someone else with a part of your/their life?
45. Have you ever been to a hypnosis convention? Did you enjoy it, or not? Why?
46. How has being involved with hypnosis/the hypno community improved your life?
47. What is one thing about the hypnosis community you think could change for the better?
48. Who is one person in the hypno community you really admire?
49. What is your favourite hypnosis-themed blog on tumblr?
50. Tag someone you’d like to see do some of these asks
Thoughts on appearance, gender, toppiness and vulnerability
Lately I’ve been dealing more with my appearance. I found ways to look, to me, cool and even attractive. These ways travel the length of the Butch / Fem scale, but what they have in common is that in my opinion they broadcast toppiness. Not necessarily in the sexual or BDSM sense: in the sense of, I know what I'm doing. I'm in control. You can trust me. And I feel like that's a way I can be attractive.
I wanted to try to find ways to show my subby side as well, but I'm struggling with that. With the feeling that my soft, vulnerable, weak side deserves attention and love. And I'm trying to figure out why that is.
Part of me feels that everyone I'm interested in is on the verge of collapse one way or another, so it's natural that I would not feel particularly attractive if I could not offer them support. I was now sitting with my loved one and trying to figure out if that was true. The conclusion so far is that not really - there are some people in trouble, and they radiate on everything around them, but most of those dear to me are quite in good condition.
Part of the thing is that as nonbinary person, I have a lot of freedom to choose how I present myself, and very few rules to rely on. Most of my life I have felt that I have no attractive way of expressing myself - and this corresponds with both gender and being fat and being weird. (that is to say neurodivergent). Now that I'm discovering ways to look, not only passable, but to present in a way that makes me happy - why should I choose anything else? Why should I choose not to be at the top of who I can be? I have this side, strong, capable, creative, kind. Why would I want to be anything else?
For a start: because weakness, softness, inability - these are the points of vulnerability, and through vulnerability connections are formed. And more than that: they are a part of me. I know from painful experience that trying to cut out the least beautiful parts of myself is a great way to end up with nothing at all. When you seal the cracks, nothing enters - neither water nor air, and what I am inside withers and dies.
That I am polyamorous helps and hinders here at the same time. A wider support network means I do not have to do everything myself; The ability to add more people to this network makes me want to add everyone whom I think I can help, even when it's not the most brilliant idea. The desire to attract more mates makes me want to secret away the less photogenic sides. But the beloveds I already have remind me that these sides are loveable too.
