rocketraymundo

when u go to the bathroom at the club and u faded af and they ain’t have paper towels

I swear to god if I get tumblr famous over this stinkin Heman the meme nose reindeer.

HOW IS THIS THE FIRST TIME IVE SEEN THIS

In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.

“They live so long…but the good ones still bond with us for our entire lives.” 

“These immortals are so kind we must be good friends to them”

My heart wtf

Not gonna lie, this fucked me up a bit.

POV Fantasy slice of life book when?

“Now I am old. The fur around my muzzle is grey and my joints ache when we walk together. Yet she remains unchanged, her hair still glossy, her skin still fresh, her step still sprightly. Time doesn’t touch her and yet I love her still.”

“For generations, he has guarded over my family. Since the days of my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather he has kept us safe. For so long we thought him immortal. But now I see differently, for just as my fur grows gray and my joints grow stiff, so too do his. He did not take in my children, but gave them away to his. I will be the last that he cares for. My only hope is that I am able to last until his final moments. The death of one of his kind is so rare. The ending of a life so long is such a tragedy. He has seen so much, he knows so much. I know he takes comfort in my presence. I only wish that I will be able to give him this comfort until the end.”

SHOOK

story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say “tax benefits”. and to this day my aunt still doesn’t know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling “TAX BENEFITS!!!!”

My parents did this with me and “nuclear disarmament”.

I taught my little brother to say “micro-surgical vasectomy reversal” (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn’t stop saying it for literal years.

My parents taught me to chant “Get your laws off our bodies!” for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ????????????

whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant “live free or die” until he calmed down it was fuckin weird

when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say “what the fuck?!?” in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end

i’m a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say ‘this is my truck’ and the other one said ‘no, this truck belongs to the collective’; they all say it now

That last one.

This is too good not to reblog.

help

@aph-ichimatsu

I know right now homophobes trying to distance themselves from the orlando shooter and I just want you all to know that you’re the same. you won’t take a gay persons life, but you also won’t advocate for anti-discrimination in employment, housing, and healthcare… the basic necessities that make life sustainable. so don’t pretend to feel remorse for the 50 dead and 53 injured, you wouldn’t care less if they died of poverty alone. you’re all the same every single one of you