the party possum

"... You're what??"

(EDIT: Muting notifications on this!)

Sir Ian McKellen shouts:

NO*Loza’s Lovely Sorpresa [Pedigree]

🐱 Norwegian Forest Cat

📸 Sofia Leonsen [NO*Loza’s]

I believe Jackie is more the "quality time" type, and Shauna, the "words of affirmation" type.

Jackie thought their time together was proof of how much they cared and loved. She would suggest things to do, where to go, how and when, etc. And assume Shauna didn't care since the purpose was to be together and do something. Because she didn't care as long as she spent time with Shauna.

Shauna felt like Jackie was controlling and didn't care about her feelings because Jackie rarely put how she felt into words. She only used her words to tell Shauna what to do. Assuming the love they shared (quality time for Jackie) was enough to know Shauna. But Shauna wanted meaning, words. And she cared about what they did, because she felt like her wants and opinion didn't matter to Jackie. She wanted Jackie to ask. To show interest in her wants and wishes. And she wanted her to do it without external help. But Jackie never got it. Because to her, she was telling her I love you every day they spend time together. She learned what Shauna liked and would give, do, suggest without asking if Shauna wanted to because to her, it was a show of love to remember.

In their relationship. Jackie showed her love every day and felt Shauna's love every day through quality time. Shauna showed her love with words of affirmation, with I love you's, but rarely received it from Jackie. So Shauna felt unloved, uncared for, controlled, and used by Jackie. She ended up understanding it all wrong because they didn't speak the same language. So she hated Jackie because she made her feel that way. She made her love her and hate her for not loving her back. But she did... she just never understood how much.

In the end, Jackie died thinking Shauna didn’t love her. She said it in Jackie's language by letting her leave and not joining her outside. By applying to brown. By putting a stop to any form of quality time. And she did it and her own language by using her words. But that time, she probably didn't fully mean it. Deep down, she knew something wasn't adding up.

Jackie loved feeling loved and died feeling unloved, abandoned, hated. Shauna lived feeling unloved and kept living, not knowing how much Jackie loved her.

But I think what is kind of nice about Shauna and Lottie's relationship is that even though they both come from a different vein, I think they have this somewhat understanding of the wilderness's power. I think they like being stuck in the wilderness for different reasons, so they, weirdly enough, have each other's backs. There's like this weird understanding, and, like, approval that they have each other's backs and so it's been fun to be able to play these, like, glances and these little eye contacts from across the room. (x)