Beanbagstab

Works where Amy is saying things like:

“I’ve been so horrible to you Sonic no wonder you don’t like me, I should ignore my feelings to make you more comfortable”

“I know you’re never going to settle down (and god forbid I challenge you in any way) so I’ve decided that I’m done being crazy and would like to “share my love with the world” whatever that means so I hope that this, in some reverse physiological way, will make you love me. But like if you don't, that's fine too. I feel empowered in my ability to compromise myself into oblivion”

And then Sonic is saying things like:

“Heh, what do you know, little rosy’s all grown up. I gotta say, you were pretty crazy back then and actually, I was really afraid and uncomfortable this whole time. I've just been uncharacteristically a push-over about it and you’ve just been too crazy to notice.

“I’m not good at romance so thanks for shrinking yourself down for me Amy, I really appreciate the effort and in a reverse physiological way I really like you now and I think it's my turn to Man Up and make some advances”

“I’m so glad both of us have matured into people neither of us recognize.”

Uncharitable recreation aside, I understand to some extent the appeal of these works. It feels good to watch our favorite fictional characters grow up with us and a part of growing up means being filled with things like insecurity and change. It feels good to see Amy finally be accepted by Sonic. Like she has overcome something big and can finally have her reward. However, it is a very hollow acceptance. The thing she's overcome is her personality (👎) , and the reward is a well behaved sonic (👎👎).

I think, on a larger level, a lot of people see wanting romance as cringe. A lot of people see a woman pursuing a man to be cringe. As we all know, women (as objects of desire) cannot yearn for a man unless she wants to be seen as weird, male centered, and putting her own self worth down.

It reads as if the authors/ writers are trying to teach people a lesson on how a good healthy heterosexual relationship should look like. Often instead what ends up happening is a relationship where the woman puts the comfort of *her* man above her own and stunts herself emotionally to the point of losing herself.

In canon, Amy doesn't care if she “shouldn’t” pursue sonic. It's in her nature to love without a filter. Likewise, Sonic doesn’t care if their relationship is “weird”. It's in his nature to live without a filter.

I get the impression lot of these works are so insecure or ashamed of the past sonamy dynamic that they feel the need to “fix” them by trading in 2000s heteronormal dynamics for the heteronormal dynamics of say the 1800s or something. They’re too focused on making a “See! Sonamy can be healthy and normal!” type of statement to realize that there is now no space for a proper romance to blossom at all.

These fanworks are so incredibly reluctant to sit in real character-oriented conflict ( the most interesting part of any romance imo) that they whisk it all away in an effort to be seen as “right” and “as it should be.”

In my observations, a lot of heterosexual romantic works are so incredibly plagued by things such as centuries long engrained patriarchal ideas and (more recently) heterofatalism that a lot of these “fixed” sonamy attempts overcorrect and become just another flavor of unhealthy which is something these works are so clearly trying to avoid. And a flavor of unhealthy that is, in my opinion, much much more cynical and filled with misogynistic undertones than even their most “toxic” of 2000s era canonical portrayals contain.

In my opinion, sonamy and sonamy fans seem to be stuck somewhere on the spectrum of “Lol women crazy” misogyny (Fanworks where amy is seen/treated as irrational by the reader and sonic) and “women are pursued not pursuers” misogyny (Fanworks like the one described in the beginning). I think many people who write these stories think they’re going from misogyny to feminism when they’re just going from misogyny A to misogyny B.

Both of these dynamics fail to give Sonic the proper agency and emotional intelligence needed for a proper romance. Ultimately, both interpretations treat sonic as a boy who should not be expected to change, do any emotional labor, nor should express any true emotion other than comfortable happiness. And Amy is treated as a woman who must grow up and conform to the world around her (as all girls becoming socially acceptable women should do if they even dare hope to be loved).

Because of this, I feel like a lot of these fanworks lack proper tension or chemistry that is contingent on these characters as people with unique personalities and instead rely on the presumed attraction expected from Girl and Boy. Which, aside from insulting, I find very very boring.

I think, obviously, Amy is capable of self reflection and growth as a character but I find that in a lot of fanworks that are focused on this, they start from the idea of “fixing her” which is the wrong attitude for such a idealistic and hopeful character such as Amy Rose and which I believe has led to less interesting stories and a less compelling character overall. And Sonic, I think, obviously, should not be expected to change into this perfect romantic boyfriend but similarly, a lot of stories treat Sonic’s affections as him fundamentally compromising his being and becoming less authentically himself.

Notice how in romance, Sonic changing is unthinkable and Amy changing is a prerequisite.

Although we know a lot of *this* is just for show. Tropes play out. Sonic will discover Amy is now more attractive and his "can't settle down” mentality will give way to lust or responsibility. Amy’s new maturity will still break occasionally when she hugs him too tightly and clings too closely. And the lovers, the writer/artist, and us the reader will all act as if, through these little breaks, we can still recognize the pair of hedgehogs they’ve become.

Also, I’ve read stories where the author/artist dips their toe into this genre with various levels of tact/ talent and it's possible to do so in a way that doesn’t become too horribly cynical as I’ve described and is actually explored in worthwhile ways. I myself like to dip into this genre with the intention of subverting it from time to time. That’s basically the origins of my old comic Shooting Star Lover. And the thesis for my Hanahaki AU.

When I really think about it, it’s not really the fanworks themselves that make me upset. it’s what they represent and how they influence the culture at large. Sometimes I can’t help but feel that there are many people out there who truly see these story beats as ideal depictions of maturity and I feel like the bar is in hell for proper emotional intelligence. It doesn’t help that it seems like a certain writer for the games/ comics seems to be a huge fan of this genre of Sonamy…

And what I do to make myself enjoy Sonamy again is to start drawing what I’d like to see and rewatching/ rereading my favorite fanworks. I get so fed up when I see something that seems so obvious to myself but is virtually completely nonexistent online so it fuels me to try and bring something new or interesting to the fandom. It also gives me a better understanding of creating and the thought process behind making fanart and so it makes me more sympathetic to every creator out there- even if I don’t really like their work.

Lately it’s also been really refreshing to reread my favorite fanworks of other ships that I like. Bakudeku from My hero Academia and Reaclair from I’m in love with the villainess are my current go-tos. I also recommend watching a new series or starting a new book or going to a new place as a palette cleanser.

I try to remind myself that life is too short and the world is too shitty to dwell on all the things I don’t like so I try to spend my time actually making things and engaging with the stuff I do like/ stuff that inspires me.

Tldr:

My Problem:

I don't like when Amy is written to be ashamed of herself and I don’t like when Sonic is coddled by the author/artist, especially when it's treated as some new, moral way of loving.

My Solution: