You would not believe your ass
If ten million largemouth bass.
desired you while the women flee

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@thebookishwallflower
You would not believe your ass
If ten million largemouth bass.
desired you while the women flee

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"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"
I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,
My kids once expressed a plan to me that involved a time machine, Andrew Jackson, and a hickory walking stick containing a bomb. What it lacked in practicality, it made up for in understanding the history lesson I had just given them (having at that point thrown the school's weak-ass mid-lockdown lesson plan across the room and engaged in a furious rant about the real stuff). The more you look at history, the more you start thinking you're gonna need a bigger time machine.
Disabled lives are not inherently filled with suffering and when they are itās usually because someone put it there.
some of you seem to be under the unfortunate impression that i enjoy finishing things. i enjoy making things
For my 12th birthday, my parents took me to Washington DC because I was a huge nerd and I wanted to see the elephant shrews at the national zoo and I wanted to visit the Smithsonian. It was a terrible trip. Unbeknownst to me, my mother had recently found out my father was cheating on her, my (now lifelong) depression was beginning to kick in, my mom and I came down with a terrible cold at the beginning of the week and the vibes in the hotel room were miserable. I was so unhappy I cried. Walking around museums is a lot less fun when your nose is running like a faucet and youāre so tired and you want to go to bed but that means youāll be trapped in a room with your parents who hate each other. To top it all off, the small mammal house at the national museum was CLOSED. All suffering, no shrews. Still havenāt seen an elephant shrew in person and Iām 25.
There was a group of 5 or 6 middle aged Japanese men staying in the same hotel as us. I donāt know if this was a boyās trip or if they were there on business and working hard while they were playing hard but they were having a GREAT time. We kept bumping into them because we were staying in the same hotel and doing a lot of the same touristy activities and they seemed to be having the time of their lives every time we saw them. They had a visible lust for life I cannot put into words. I had traveled one state over and I was so miserable and just wanted to go home and they had come from across the globe and seemed to be on the trip of a lifetime and it occurred to me that yes, DC is beautiful, America is a vast and interesting place and if I got out of my own head, I could enjoy it in the way they were enjoying it.
This is what the footage of people from abroad exploring America during the World Cup has made me think of, I need to get out of my depressed 12 year old boy incapable of experiencing joy mindset, you have to love the place and people around you to want to help.
YOU have got to get in that Scottish guy experiencing Boston for the first time mindset, you have got to summon that 50 year old Japanese man in DC with 5 of his closest friends type of love for the world.

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Don't worry, no one in our family is [REDACTED]
If you are a trans woman who hates trans men, get out.
If you are a trans man who hates trans women, get out.
I won't tolerate any hatred towards any trans people here.
If you are a binary trans person who hates non-binary people, get out.
If youāre a perisex trans person who hates intersex trans people, get out.
If youāre a trans person who hates trans people that use neopronouns, get out.
If youāre a trans person who hates trans people that use xenogenders, get out.
If youāre a trans person who hates trans people that use weird and/or contradictory labels, get out.
when a cartoon character has a little nutsack or dick visible at all times it might raise some eyebrows but is ultimately seen as funny & acceptable. on the other hand you couldn't make Crazy Frog with a cunt. one of society's great inequalities
Thereās a little Irish coochie gargoyle I think!! I canāt remember her name, but sheās silly and is sometimes found over church doorways
Sheela na Gig! She's a Christian symbol to help ward off the devil. According to old folklore, if the devil comes around, he will be warded away if a woman flashes her coochie at him, on account of the coochie being a holy and cleansing sort of thing. It's the gateway to life after all. Proof that some societies recognised the power of cunt
Not pertinent to anything in particular but I do think it's kinda weird that we keep depicting cavemen in media crawling around on all fours covered in dirt with tangled, matted hair, speaking in broken, cobbled-together toddler language when like.
They were us.
Like literally genetically they were US, just like. A while ago.
Like
Would you trust a TV caveman with a baby? Probably not
A real life caveman though??? I think they'd be at least okay at it
This is actually really important and comes up in Anthropology classes all. The. Time.
As long as homo sapiens have existed, we have had the same emotional and mental capacity as you and I do today. You nailed it. They were US. Even Neaderthals existed alongside and had offspring with Homo Sapiens for many thousands of years.
There's much evidence that cavemen would have had complex spoken language, culture (learned information passed down), symbolic interpretation, and I think they most certainly would have been able to handle holding a baby. In fact I have my suspicisions that an ancient homo sapiens mother may be a more present, attentive, and knowledgable mom than I could be today.
Do not let media trick you into believing we are the pinnacle of humanity. Unilinial evolution theory (google it quick I beg) is BUNK, GARBAGE, and the root of so much evil.
We've been human for a long, long time, and we are not inherently better than all those who came before.
One the most profound experiences of my life was visiting Font de Gaume, which has 12 thousand year old paintings. They use a technique where the horses appeared to run across the wall when seen in flickering firelight. There was a bison the wall staring at us with such attitude, I could practically hear him. I had the most profound feeling of those ancient artists reaching forward to lay their hands on my shoulders. To say, "This was my world." It was a profoundly moving experience.
Some years later, I went to the Orkney islands where we visited a tiny family run museum of artifacts from the chambered tomb at the other end of the farm. They handed me a pestle once held by some neolithci human.They'd worn groves where the thumb and forefinger would be for better grip.
One time, in a French history class, my teacher randomly at the end of the class had all of us draw a sketch of a horse. And we were all like ??? Okay???
At the beginning of the next class, my teacher showed us a cave painting of a horse. And then he showed all of our horses, which he had scanned and put into the presentation.
He then pointed out all the ways that our horses looked similar to the prehistoric horse. Same features, drawn from the same angle, etc.
And then he asked us, "Isn't it cool that you draw horses the same way as someone who lived 20,000 years ago?"
Yeah. That stuck with me for a while.
In Spain, there's a cave full of ancient, ice age era drawings of bison and reindeer and other animals of that period... And one small section of chaotic scribbles just a little away from everything else. These scribblesv were so incomprehensible, they were originally just called the 'Panel of Enigmatic Signs'... Until it occurred to someone that drawings only three feet off the ground probably weren't made by adults.
Scientists are now pretty sure the scribbles were made by kids ages 3-6, more or less on their own. The adult cave artists were probably doing what any modern parent might do when they want to keep small children out of their hair for awhile: they gave the kids some drawing tools of their own and a small section of wall to work on, out of the way but still close enough to keep an eye on them, and let them have at it.
What's most charming about the whole thing is the way the cave scribbles look exactly like what you'd find on the wall of a preschool today. Artistic styles vary widely across different times and cultures, but child development is as near to a universal human experience as it gets.
Wisher made detailed 3D scans of the drawings, which helped her understand the uneven pressure applied to the charcoal and the direction the lines were drawn. The team then compared the panelās composition with age-appropriate artistic efforts by modern children. Kids across cultures go through the same developmental stages, which influence their physical ability to draw, until about the age of 6, Amir notes.
The team compared the ancient art with the developmental stages exhibited by modern children: the furiously scribbled circles and push-pull lines typical of 3-year-olds just learning to control their bodies, for example, or the wobbly, right-angled figures of slightly older kids beginning to master fine motor skills.
Both are apparent in the cave, superimposed on each other as though two or more kids were drawing at once. Thatās a clue the Las Monedas marks were likely made by āsiblings or a mixed-age play group within the sphere of safety around adults, but also within their own space,ā says co-author Felix Riede, an Aarhus archaeologist.
...
Adults at Las Monedas would have been aware of what the kids were doing and presumably had lit fires or torches; without ample firelight the cave is pitch black.
image description: a photograph of a projected image onto a large screen; the image is a scan of a bunch of drawings of horses next to each other and the image of a cave painting of a horse. / end description

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Genuinely tearing up over the newest naddpod ep holy shit
Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think itās worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of oneās lungs
People in my notes who think Iām repressed or dissociating: you will feel better when you learn emotions are not a binary of Not Feeling It vs Being Overwhelmed By It
sometimes i talk about how awful it was to feel trapped by my daily makeup routine and how i couldnāt leave the house without putting on a full face and it played a major role in the misery of my high school experience because i had to spend so much extra time getting ready in the mornings and that followed me into my early 20s as well and it was hell and it was so incredibly liberating to go through the slow and uncomfortable but ultimately essential process of getting my bare face back and having makeup be an optional accessory instead of a mandatory uniform. and the response always tends to be ah yes of course, because of your trans and your masculine. and itās like aha so close! actually! I think if I ended up being a feminine cis woman I also still would not deserve even a second of that shit! I think trans women and nonbinary people and every human alive should have the option to leave the house without a single cosmetic product ever touching their face! but thanks for playing!
and when I say people should have the option obviously I do not mean āyeah you can but everyoneās gonna treat you like youāre frumpy and weird.ā I also kinda donāt even mean āyouāre beautiful even without makeup!!ā because like. well of course i think many people are. some of the most beautiful faces i have ever seen in my life have had not a drop of makeup on them. and thatās awesome or whatever. but itās also kind of irrelevant to the overall point Iām actually making. really what im saying is it shouldnāt fucking matter if you are beautiful or even pleasant to look at at all! you should be able to just be, all the time no matter what. everyone around you should just treat you like a person who is worthy of respect and fair treatment regardless of what you look like. I am of course keenly aware that that is not presently actually how things work much of the time. but that end goal is what my stance on makeup is informed by. you should never ever ever fucking need it to be treated with decency.
i flipping hate ao3's layout there's too many goddamn words
you know what i deserve this
a lot of mean things have been said about me on this post, but none of them hurt as much as this
This websites hatemail game is insane
Why is this heat so hot š©
Itās the heat
Source?

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So my parents are on vacation for a couple of weeks, which means that I am going up (literally up, they live just up the hill like a block from us) once a day to look after their cats.
They have 2 cats. Both very raggedy and now elderly former feral boys, both gingers. There is not a single braincell between the pair of them.
Wash (full government name Washburn) thinks all humans are friend shaped. Sherpa (Full name Stop Climbing That Get Down From There What Are You A Sherpa) is terrified of every human on the planet except my parents.
So, whenever I go up and let myself in, I hear the scrabble of claws on the hardwood floor. Wash then runs full speed into my shins demanding attention, and Sherpa ramps off the whatever he was perched on, a wall, another wall, and scrambles up the stairs to hide under the bed upstairs. Note that he has seen me regularly for 9 years now.
My mom texted me the other day to ask 'Did u see both of them'
Me; 'Wash is clinging to my pants and refusing to let me leave and Sherpa was on top of the fridge again somehow. He's upstairs hiding now.'
Mom; 'that cat is 14 years old HOW IS HE STILL CLIMBING THE FRIDGE HE KNOWS HE IS NOT ALLOWED UP THERE. ANARCHY AS SOON AS WE LEAVE UGH'
My mom texted me
the other day to ask āDid
u see both of themā
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
hey if youāre stuck being in church this sunday hereās a reminder that itās completely free to think about gay sex and no one can tell. the government doesnāt want you to know this but jesus thinks itās totally cool
THANKS FOR BEING FUNNIER THAN ME