Life's a Beach

that was so intense

where is her oscar I’m shaken

@puppystorm

past tense of william shakespeare? william shookspeare

Wouldiwas Shookspeared

delete this

I just realized the first cars movie and the first thor movie have the same exact plot

I want an explanation

A man on the road to greatness ends up lost in a small desert town with seemingly no hope of getting back to the life he knows, over time he falls in love with someone there and learns to be humble. With this character development complete he’s able to return to his life never forgetting the people in that desert town.

This man’s optimism keeps me alive

There will be a day I don’t reblog this after seeing it on my dash. Today is not that day.

No but - to anyone who doesn’t know a single magpie is bad. There’s a nursery rhyme for it; “ One for sorrow, Two for joy, Three for a girl, Four for a boy, Five for silver, Six for gold, Seven for a secret, Never to be told. Eight for a wish, Nine for a kiss, Ten for a bird, You must not miss.” He knows he must be fucked if there’s only one Magpie  

@thebibliosphere

Anyone who believes “Animals tell no lies,” has not lived with a cat who wants to convince you that he hasn’t already eaten dinner.

A cat does not lie. A cat merely rejects your humanist construction of meal categorisation, and desires to replace it with their own cat construct of now-meow-now-meow food bowl replenishing.

Damn he came for their lives 😂

Holy shit I just witnessed Colin murder the entire movie industry. 

I just saw a new episode of Who’s Line is it Anyway? in which other cast members made a transphobic joke where the punchline was “that woman has a penis.” Colin, who has a trans daughter, stood there and just repeatedly said “Really?” Until they apologized and redid their joke. Very small thing, but I appreciate the man.

I cannot fucking believe it is the yEAR 2017 GOD DAMMIT

i have literal object permanence when it comes to my opinion on children. right now in the presnce of 0 children or 0 mentions of children i could not be more neutral. when im around a cool baby who like smiles at me or is bein funny & is maybe wearing a cute hat im like :))) “i want 30000 babies” but then if i hear one (1) singular child cry on a plane i think “Having children is a societal expectation thrust upon women by the patriarchy therefore i”