Beo’s Really Annoying

i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays

the bus is never going to come because im a bad person

Fool me once I kill myself on the spot

[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

FUCKKKKKKK what if something bad happened and I forgot to worry about it

I forgot to buy cheese last grocery day and this has genuinely been the hardest week of my life.

I'm not even being ironic. I have been through post-surgical recovery that was more tolerable to me than these past few cheeseless days have been. But I get paid tomorrow, and an end is in sight, so I persevere.

One of us does not understand your grocery logistics situation

Mostly a combination of "not wanting to walk to the grocery store when it's 30C outside" and "owing to the particulars of my employment situation I only get paid once a month, so disposable income tends to be tight in the final week, and I'm disinclined to incur debt to buy cheese".

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of