REMEDIOS VARO (1908-1963) EnergĂa cĂłsmica (InspiraciĂłn) signed 'R. Varo' (lower right) gouache on board 12 3â8 x 12 1â8 in. (31.4 x 30.8 cm.) Painted in 1956
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REMEDIOS VARO (1908-1963) EnergĂa cĂłsmica (InspiraciĂłn) signed 'R. Varo' (lower right) gouache on board 12 3â8 x 12 1â8 in. (31.4 x 30.8 cm.) Painted in 1956

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fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this
who up in a kafka-esque rut sleep deprived, casually malnourished, socially awkward, painfully self-conscious, struggling financially, lacking community, altogether anhedonic

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Summer night on the beach (1903) by Edvard Munch
2020 - The Year of SurvivalÂ
2021 - The Year of Resetting
2022 - The Year of Loss and Lessons
2023 - The Year of Subtle ProgressÂ
2024 - The Year of Preparation
2025 - The Year of AscensionÂ
A Letter to Self
Dear Future Me,
As I write this letter, my mind drifts to the deepest recesses of what it means to live a life of true meaning. Right now, I stand on the edge of the unknown, with a vision in my heart and a longing for something that feels both timeless and elusive. I feel the urgency of the moment, but also the understanding that this is not just a race to accomplish, but a journey of becoming.
I do not know where I will be when you read this letter, but I know that you are the culmination of all the choices I make today. The person you have become is the result of the small, quiet moments of reflection, the moments of profound silence, and the decisions to push through even when I felt lost. I hope you have not lost touch with the essence of who you are, for the journey ahead is not just about what we achieve, but about the way we evolve at the deepest level.
Health: A Sacred Vessel for the Soul At the core of my being is the understanding that health is not just the absence of illness but a sacred vessel that supports the unfolding of my purpose. It is not simply about eating the right foods or maintaining a routine; it is about honoring the very body that houses my soul. I feel an increasing awareness that health is intertwined with spiritual vitalityâthat what I feed my body, mind, and spirit creates the energy from which all else flows. I have worked to care for my body as an act of reverence, to move with intention, to breathe deeply, and to eat with gratitude. Yet, I know that true health goes beyond the physical. It lies in accepting my vulnerabilities, in cultivating emotional resilience, and in nurturing the peace within.
I hope that, by the time you read this, you have transcended the common notion of health. Have you come to understand that true vitality is a sacred alignment of the physical, mental, and spiritual planes? Do you still honor your body with the same reverence that you once set as your intention? Health is a daily commitment to being whole in every aspect of yourself, and I trust that youâve continued to care for your vessel with the wisdom that only deep reflection and experience can bring.
Creativity: The Expression of the Soul's Truth Creativity, for me, has become something far deeper than simply producing. It has become the expression of my soul's truth. Every word I write, every brushstroke I make, every idea I birth is not just a reflection of what I know, but a reflection of who I am. Iâm no longer driven by the desire to merely create for recognition or external approval, but because it is through creation that I remember myselfâthe raw, untamed essence of my being.
Iâve come to see creativity as an act of surrenderâto let go of control and allow the work to emerge from the deepest recesses of my heart. The journey of creativity has shown me that vulnerability is at its core, and it is only by being authentically exposed that I can produce something that truly resonates. I have faced the fear of judgment, the self-doubt that lingers like a shadow, but through it all, I have learned that creativity is not about perfectionâit is about truth. The truth of who I am, in each moment, in each breath.
Have you, by now, been able to create freely, without the weight of self-imposed expectations? Have you allowed yourself to simply create for the sake of being rather than doing? I trust that by now, your creative spirit has transcended the confines of the mind and entered into the realm of pure expression, where the boundaries between creator and creation no longer exist. May you be forever unafraid to express what lives in the deepest places of your soul, regardless of the outcome, for in that expression lies your freedom.
Long-Term Vision: The Pursuit of Meaning Beyond Success When I look into the future, I donât see a destination as much as I see a continuous unfolding. The world speaks of success, wealth, and status as though they are the ultimate goals of life, but I have come to realize that they are mere illusions compared to the true purpose of living. My vision is not simply to achieve, but to become. To become the person who is not just successful by external measures, but fulfilled at the deepest level. My goal is to live a life of meaning, one in which I serve not from a place of obligation, but from a place of love, generosity, and purpose.
This vision is not limited to material goals; it extends into the realm of soulful abundanceâa life lived with presence, awareness, and a deep commitment to contributing something of real value to the world. I understand that I am not just here to exist but to leave a legacyânot one of grand monuments or accolades, but one of quiet impact, where the ripples of my actions touch lives in ways I may never fully see.
Have you reached a place where your vision is no longer shaped by what others expect but by the pull of your own heart? Have you found the courage to pursue a life that feels aligned with your soulâs deepest desires, regardless of how unconventional it may appear to others? I trust that you are living in harmony with your truth, and that your work, whatever it may be, is not just fulfilling but deeply connected to the greater good. In your daily actions, do you embody the very values you hold dear? I hope so. For success is not measured by what we accumulate, but by the love and light we bring into the world.
Facing the Abyss: The Inner Journey of Transformation The most profound aspect of my lifeâs journey is perhaps the one that is the most difficult to articulateâthe internal transformation that takes place beneath the surface. This journey is not always visible to others, and sometimes, it is not even visible to me. But I know that this transformation is real. It is the shift from fear to courage, from lack to abundance, from confusion to clarity. It is the process of shedding old identities, beliefs, and limitations that no longer serve my highest self.
In these moments, when the world feels like it is crumbling or when doubt and fear grip my heart, I remember that true growth comes from surrenderingâsurrendering to the uncertainty of life, to the knowing that I do not have all the answers, and that I am not meant to. I have learned that trusting the process is the key to peace, and that in the darkest moments, there is always light waiting to emerge.
Have you fully surrendered to the unfolding of life, knowing that everything, even the most painful moments, is part of the grand design? Have you accepted that the challenges youâve faced are not obstacles to overcome, but the very soil from which your wisdom and growth have sprouted? I trust that youâve learned to let go of all that no longer serves you and embraced the unfolding of your true self, free from attachment to outcomes.
Relationships: The Sacred Dance of Connection The relationships I hold closest to my heart are the ones that remind me of who I am and why Iâm here. These connections are not defined by superficial exchanges, but by the deep, sacred bond that exists between two souls. Iâve learned that love is not just an emotion, but a sacred act of vulnerability, a constant flow of giving and receiving, where both individuals are free to be their most authentic selves.
In these relationships, I have come to understand the importance of both self-love and love for others. I cannot truly love others if I do not first love and honor myself. This is a profound truth that continues to unfold. Have you, by now, mastered the art of presenceâof truly being with others in moments of silence, joy, and grief? Have you let go of expectations and embraced the beauty of unconditional love? I trust that you have nurtured your relationships with the depth, care, and love they deserve.
The Unfolding Journey I cannot know exactly what the future holds. But I do know this: I am here to become. To evolve. To step into the fullest expression of my soul's purpose. This journey is not about destination, but about becoming more authentically me with every step I take. I trust that wherever you are, you are living in alignment with this deep truth.
May you look back with gratitude for the pain and the joy, for all that has shaped you into who you are today. And as you move forward, may you do so with courage, faith, and a deep, unshakable knowing that you are exactly where you need to be.
With all my love, faith, and trust in the unfolding of your journey,
Sincerely Yours
I love my job, but reblogging employment jelly for someone else I love.

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âI am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I donât know why, some people fill the gaps but other people emphasize my loneliness.â
â Anais Nin
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"I miss all my friends, all the time, constantly" Last Part.
Fredrik Backman, Us Against You // Ross Gay, âCatalog of Unabashed Gratitudeâ // @werenotreallystrangers // Karen Finley, "Black Sheep" // Eileen Myles, "Bone" // Chelsea Fagan, How We Let People Go // @adampvrrish // Michael Dumontier and Neil Farber, Stamp Collection // The National - "Perfect Song" // unknown source