I choose you, Simon

Well, so much shit happened didn’t it?

Let’s update our shiny brand-new long-anticipated couple: Penny and Shepard KISSED. No,no, they made out (which was a hotter scene then I thought it would be). And literally minutes later, Penny fucking opened a portal, summoned a demon, negotiated with it and fixed Shepard’s curse. Honestly, we love a smart (and hot) queen.

Baz and Simon are also doing way better than I expected?? I mean with all the checking in and talking about stuff and the kissing and the sleeping together and just everything honestly. I get kinda sad in those scene sometimes because in their POV’s they are always thinking about how they love each other to death but they are not sure if the other person is happy or fine..I just wanna get in their heads and yell YOU ARE GOOD YOU BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH IT’S LEGIT UNBELIEVABLE. But still, I think they (mostly Simon) needed time and healing. And he needed Baz.

Oh and also, they kinda sorta had sex?? Which I don’t even know how to comment on??? It was so hot?? Also so sweet?! Just read it honestly. I appreaciate that Rianbow was not lying when she said there was another chapter 61…there SURE was.

On another note the chapter where the weirdest gang ever tried to herd the goats was so fucking hilarious and Niamh is growing on me very much. But more importantly, Niamh is growing on Agatha very much and that my friends, is very important. Especially Agatha being kind of speechless after Niamh’s haircut (we see your drool Agatha..)

I also want to brag about the fact that the moment I read that Baz saw Nico in Fiona’s apartment I immediately envisioned a scene where Baz and Simon was dancing in Fiona’s wedding at the end of the book (possibly the epilogue) and later on when Baz and Fiona had that much-needed heartfelt talk, she mentioned she was getting engaged. So who knows, maybe I am truly a visionary. The talk was also very emotional and kinda came out of nowhere but it was sooo good because we were starting to forget why we loved and adored Fiona (feelings definitely restored).

Last but not least, the og gang, with the best addition of Shepard, is back together and I couldn’t be happier because I’m reading the book on kindle (to highlight my favorite parts) and it was showing that the book was 70% over and they hadn’t made up yet. But just as I was thinking this they got right back into their rhythm and peace was restored (at least in my mind, the world is never at peace when this gang exists).

I think this is mostly going to be about Pen and Shepard but WHY AM I LIVING FOR THEM???

yeah no that’s no question Shepard is the exact opposite of Penny and their vibe is ✨immaculate ✨

and I am also living to see the little bit insecure and embrassed side of Shepard and Penny’s in-love-but-not-realizing-it side and she’s getting more sure of herself by the minute which I love

let me tell you what I don’t really love, Penny and Simon are still not talking and even though everyone is kinda in their own adventures (and that I love Simon and Baz making out literally anytime everywhere and Agatha and Niamh shyly becoming friends) I miss the gang!! And to no surprise I really miss the Baz-Pen dynamic A LOT

Well, some things have cleared and some things have not (yet). But for now my reactions,

can Pen and Simon make up already??? They are kinda lost without each other and their investigative skills work best when they are together NOT TO MENTION THEY HAVE IMPORTANT STUFF TO FIGURE OUT AND SHARE??? I like to believe that their friendship is not based only on getting in (and out) of trouble but they share important stuff like Pen’s existential crisis and Simon’s mental health

ok wtf is going on Agatha and Niamh?? I feel like Niamh is totally mesmerized by Agatha and just very unsuccessfully playing it cool. Also Agatha? In the first book she was the princess, in the second she was the free independt poweful girl and in this one she is just a normal ass young adult and I AM LOVING IT. Honestly, live your truth girl.

Lady Ruth,?!!!! Ladies and gentlemen, her. I wanna hug her, I wanna eat her chocolate cakes, I want her to officiate Simon and Baz’s wedding (not a spoiler that’s just what I imagine lol). She is amazing and I couldn’t take it when she was absolutely acting like Simon’s grandma when she ACTUALLY IS but they don’t know. Ugghhh I hope they find out soon and Simon finally has a family member that is this fucking cool

So, our babies have cleared up a lot of stuff. But healing doesn’t just happen. They are so happy and I’m living for it. But something feels ominous. I don’t know if that ominous thing is about them or not. I feel like there’s always this fear, hesitation, a feeling of calm before the storm. Either way, I don’t know if I can handle another break up. I definitely know that I can’t handle a break up that doesn’t resolve with making up. I’m not even gonna mention any death scenarios because GOD if anything remotely deathy happens to these people I will perish.

Look at what Simon says to himself though like look at this shit is this like a fucking foreshadow or just Simon being horny and unbelievably inconcievably head over heels in love? (I like to think it’s the latter because we all know these guys love each other like this, giving their all and thinking it will end in death, in flames):

—

Fine,you fucker. Have me. Just have me.

Do your worst, you stubborn twat.

Be the death of me.

You’ll be the death of me

I TOLD YOU I FUCKING TOLD YOU

their love is what potions are made of

baz is not the first thing simon gave up on (it may have been what he thought he didn’t deserve or thought he may lose but that’s also not going to happen and simon knows that now)

they have so much work to do

and so much healing, communication and therapy

but it is pure love

and it’s so beautiful

safe to say, I cried during all of that talk on the sofa and oh my god the hand holding, and the words that have been said (“I love you…obviously”), and the confessions that have been made and the trying and the making up

so…if you have read up until 13, you now exactly what I’m feeling and why I’m crying in the club rn

I mean it didn’t start good but we were expecting that. Rainbow told us that the book was about healing, and most importantly, healing from trauma. Which god knows these three have enough of.

I knew they were broken in their own ways and need to break completely and shatter to pieces to be fixed. To be stronger and more sure of themselves.

But this crying and unsure-of-herself Penny and completely-a-mess Simon and this heartbroken Baz with his last words to Simon before going out the door of his flat…I am just sad.

I wish you a pleasant reading and a normal amount of crying

then we can all come back here and just lose our shits