baz

give me a jesper fahey who just met a guy who saved him from being jumped and immediately becoming obsessed with him in a way that is almost unhealthy. he's always around the slat, trying to catch a glimpse of kaz. he's the first one to jump to a job, dangerous jobs, jobs that won't even benefit him, not really. but he might get kaz's approval, maybe even spend time with him. give me a jesper fahey who keep accepting dangerou situations, not just because he likes danger, but because he's forcing himself to, because this time, kaz is going to congratulate him, he can feel it. because maybe when he gets shot at, injured, bleeding out, maybe this time, kaz will do a little more than jut call for a medic and leave. becaue jesper injuring himelf for a job is commitment that kaz recognises, or because kaz wants to care for him, to look after him

give me a jesper fahey who reads into everything, good and bad. he wonders if kaz might've smiled at him, or was it just a grimace? had he complimented jesper' shot, or just the job well done? had he fucked up when he stupidly missed a shot because he wasn't focusing? was kaz going to hate him now, never peak to him again? was kaz giving him dirty looks? or is that a look that says 'it's okay, i'll give you another chance. give me a jesper fahey who replays every. little. thing. after every single job, who loses sleep over every interaction he has with kaz

give me a jesper fahey who's desperate to prove to kaz that he can be his person. he tries everything to find kaz's love language. he brings kaz gifts, he praises kaz, he tries to hang out with kaz in their spare time. he briefly figures he has it when he starts running little errands for kaz, bringing him coffee and doing his laundry, thinking his love language is acts of service, until he overhears a dreg mutter to another 'he's pleased now he's got fahey wrapped aorund his finger, doing whatever the hell he wants and doesn't wanna do himself'

give me a jesper fahey who cries himelf to sleep as he runs over every conversation they've ever had, desperate to prove to himself that kaz does like him, even if it's just as a friend. he notes every time kaz has played along with a joke, grinned at something he's said, comparing it to the times that he's done the same with the other dregs. give me a jesper fahey who wonders if he's being taken advantage of. give me jesper fahey who, with a broken heart, is ready to accept that a the best he'll ever get from kaz, and convinces himself that he's perfectly fine with being used, because it's better than nothing

give me a jeper fahey who's just desperate, so fucking desperate, for kaz's attention, approval, anything. he's desperate for kaz to ask him aobut himself to take an interest in him to want to spend time with him, and he'll do anything to prove to kaz that he's worth it. give me a jesper fahey who wants to be there for kaz because he love him so much that it fucking hurts and he knows he can do it, he can help kaz and he' there for him, even just as a friend. he'll do anything and everything and it's so unhealthy, but he puts all of his time and effort into kaz