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@batroguegalleryquotes
Vicki Vale: *After uncovering a secret plan for Black Mask to become mayor of Gotham* Alright, 20,000 dollars or this tape goes to the public whats it going to be fellas?
Black Mask: I’ll tell you what, here’s what I’ll do for you. I’ll pay you 50 dollars a week, every week, for about Uh… 2 weeks.
Vicki Vale: I’ll see you in court.
Black Mask: Or I could just have Zsasz here throw you in a septic tank.
Vicki Vale: 50 dollars it is!
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Harley: You ever see that episode of Friends where-
Riddler: No. I’ve never seen that episode of Friends. I’ve never seen any episode of Friends. Stop starting conversations with me by referencing Friends! In fact, stop starting conversations with me! We’re not friends!
“Imagine having beef with me. I’m just a funny jokester. A silly little guy. You’re gonna have beef with a silly little guy? For shame.” - The Joker after burning down an orphanage
“Imagine having beef with me. I’m just a funny jokester. A silly little guy. You’re gonna have beef with a silly little guy? For shame.” - The Joker after burning down an orphanage
“I don’t care if you’re 7 there’s no way I am letting you win the Easter egg hunt, welcome to the real world, Jackass.”
-Harley Quinn
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Penguin: Let’s play two truths and a lie.
Riddler: Okay. I want to kill you. I want to watch the life drain from your eyes when I strangle you. I love you and you’re my best friend.
Penguin: We’ll Edward I didn’t know you were into kinky stuff like th-
Joker’s Millions The New Batman Adventures
Jason Todd: *trying to find out what Joker is plotting with his mom and stumbling into a warehouse where Joker is waiting for him*
Joker: Have you ever heard the sound of a crowbar breaking several ribs and bruising your organs?
Jason Todd: ...No.
Joker: WOULD YOU LIKE TO?
“Note to self: Sex with Blow-Up Dolls not as good as advertised.” - Kite Man, probably
Headcannon #7
On the rare ocassions the clowns go out in public and don’t want to cause chaos as a family, Joker has Duela on a leash like a Karen with a hyperactive child.
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Vicki Vale: *reporting at a Wayne child’s birthday party* is there anything you’d like to say to all the nice people watching at home?
The Joker in disguise as a Birthday Clown: My favorite color is blood.
Vicki Vale: ...alright.
“Let me kick down a little thing to you That our founding fathers kicked down to me, it goes: Don’t. Tread. On Me. And right now you guys are TREADING ALL OVER ME!”
-Harley when everyone won’t let her paint American Flags on their faces
Harley: Come on, Red, lets go-
Ivy: I’m not going with you.
Harley: What? Ivy, I need you, you’re my model.
Ivy: Yeah, but you’re really bad at face painting.
Harley: What? I’m not bad at face painting.
Ivy: Yeah you are.
Harley: You’re treading on me, too!
Ivy: I’m not treading on yo-
Harley: YES YOU ARE, YOU’RE TREADING ON M-... 🎶I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass, Gonna kick some ass in the USA, Gonna climb a mountain, Gonna sew a flag, Gonna fly on an Eagle, I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, Gonna kick some ass, Gonna rise up, Kick a little ass, ROCK, FLAG AND EAGLE!🎶
Everyone: *just stares at Harley*
“Let me kick down a little thing to you That our founding fathers kicked down to me, it goes: Don’t. Tread. On Me. And right now you guys are TREADING ALL OVER ME!”
-Harley when everyone won’t let her paint American Flags on their faces
Joker: Happy 4th of July to you American Lunatics!
Joker: Duela is not my kid, stop saying that.
Ivy: Then why is her report card hanging up on the fridge?
Joker: She’s passing all of her classes and got an A in English, I’m proud of her, so what?
Ivy: Okay then what about the drawings of you, her, and Harley hung up on the fridge next to it?
Riddler: Those were Duela’s? I thought they were Harley’s. I guess they both have the art skills of a toddl-
Joker: RIDDLER MY AMAZINGLY TALENTED DAUGHTER WORKED HARD ON THOSE BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGS AND IF YOU INSULT THEM AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL DROP YOU IN A TUB OF ACID AND NO ONE WILL NOTICE YOU’RE MISSING!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“I don’t care if you’re 7 there’s no way I am letting you win the Easter egg hunt, welcome to the real world, Jackass.”
-Harley Quinn
“Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?” - Zsasz during the Corona Virus, 2020
