sometimes it feels like you were bred in a lab to be a white man that experiences so much suffering you cleanse the sins of the rest of your race
man what the fuck

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@batplushies
sometimes it feels like you were bred in a lab to be a white man that experiences so much suffering you cleanse the sins of the rest of your race
man what the fuck

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the other day all my coworkers were talking about the various wack diets they're on and I went "nahhhh I'm on the Seafood Diet" and the lady next to me goes "oh, what's that?" and i was so shocked by actually getting a chance to deliver the punchline on that ancient gag that i barely even remembered to say it
Squidward's whole deal is that he was a scion of Old Money who got really into Marxism in college and decided he couldn't live with himself as a beneficiary of the Bourgeoisie. He cut ties with his parents and went to live as a proletariat for a few years to better his music.
Of course, what was supposed to be a short term service industry job before he lived for his art has bloomed into just being his life, and life as a poor artist is never as romantic as one imagines. While the cost of living of Bikini Bottom is low enough that even a frycook can be a homeowner, it's not quite so low that he can afford the luxuries he was used to growing up.
His view of the Working Class as the downtrodden masses were rather tattered by years of living between SpongeBob and Patrick, who were not so much temporarily oppressed intellectuals as they were, well, SpongeBob and Patrick.
Still, through thick and thin he's never gone back on his decision to leave the money behind. The great irony is that he is ignorant of his greatest achievement—his superiority to Squilliam isn't turning a bunch of randos into a functioning Marching Band or turning a burger joint into a fine dining establishment, it's having the strength of character to look at all the advantages Squilliam had and choose to leave it behind.
He will never be a master Clarinet player, but he will always have that
brunette with orange hair
well there's not one
summer sufferers poll: would you rather have…
the ability to repel all bugs so they can’t touch/bite/sting you
the ability to always be at a comfortable temperature while outside
no chafing ever again

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no! cozy games will kill the patient. she needs violent dogshit to live
i wish there was a way to say "you're right, but this is really ineffective and even counterproductive messaging to anyone who doesn't already agree with you" without sounding like an asshole
idk if i told the full story on here but i signed up for a research study where they were testing a new opioid, and it was supposed to be up to 5 injections increasing the dose to see what people could tolerate
i got the first dose and almost immediately fainted. they had to call in a whole medical team and it was a huge fucking deal
i was kicked out of the study and got a phone call later where they were supposed to tell me what the drug was, so i could avoid it in the future. they told me it was saline water. a placebo. i fainted from the placebo effect.
anyway, it's been a few months and i just got an email from the same department asking me to be a research participant in a new study: testing the effects of open-label placebo.
open label placebo is when the subjects and the researchers all know it's a placebo. they're testing the power of my mind. my power to imagine anything.
i like to think that they chose me for this specifically based on their past experience with me. "get the guy who fainted like a little bitch boy from saline water." anyway i just submitted all my info and i'm looking forward to getting started.
placebos georg is fucking with the control group again
(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you
the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user
I upset a few people in my intro to western philosophy class with this one.

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scariest thing is when you're a kid in a huge family run by women and then you go over to a house that's deeply patriarchal & misogynistic. i remember when i was 8 years old and i got invited over to my friend's house for a big birthday party with her entire extended family. after the enormous lunch that served over 30 people, i got called into the kitchen to do literally hundreds of dishes, alongside all the other little girls and women. not only were the boys our age all excused from the meal to go play, but all the grown men went to the living room to watch sports together and drink. i couldn't believe it. i asked why some of the grownups were watching TV but the girls had to clean up and all the women just laughed and laughed at me.
as a teenager when i learned the word "sexist" and used it the older women balked at it and tried to convince me this arrangement was a good thing actually because women need space from men, and cleaning in the kitchen after parties is a sacred domain of safety. and i was like actually i think needing private safety from your own husbands, sons, and brothers sounds even worse. like do you understand you somehow made this even more troubling than it already was
like i think it's fine if a bunch of sister-in-laws/wives want time together without their husbands & brothers to talk together in camaraderie. i'm not judging that. obviously. but dare i ask why the women's meetup could only take place while doing manual labor for a nearby room full of men
it's also interesting how this ingrained rigid social structures in children bc i was mostly friends with boys at that age and in fact was at the birthday party of a friend who was a boy so i remember complaining to him at school that it was weird all the girls had to help clean up because i didn't know any of the other little girls so i felt really left out that i didn't get to hang out with my own friends for a chunk of the party and he and the other little boys were like "that's just the rules."
yeah growing up in the Appalachian bible belt I absolutely often saw this re-enforced by women.
It’s fun to use contractions inappropriately, but it’s hard to explain why that’s
thats a common interest we've
Yeah, but people get annoyed by it, like when you throw soda cans in the trash can’t the recycle bin
op turned off reblogs but also i respect that they turned them off for a reason but i still want the post here so i removed their name
in space no one can hear you moan like a girl
we're reading you loud and clear
just had a really stable moment where i opened a redbull at the exact same second someone started playing industrial music in the apartment below and i briefly thought it was coming from inside the redbull can

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Golden moon bear (Ursus thibetanus)
really good tiktok