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@bastardanddead

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odin is like āwhen thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bellā
Oưinn spake:
Bright the sun shone | at the time of Ćorās birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.
@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again
I need this framed on my wall itās so beautiful.Ā
@theshitpostcalligrapher
ay @systlin hmu
@systlin
My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.
Solen sken, skƶnt gyllene
Dagen Tor fƶddes
PĆ„ trottoaren, vid Taco Bell
DƤr lƄg Loke
āKJN
My translation:
The sun shone, sweet golden
The day of Torās birth
On the tarmac, by Taco Bell
There lay Loki
(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)
@bold-sartorial-statement
ay yo show ur husbandĀ
@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes:Ā
(oops spot the typos)
i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do itĀ
Sólin skein, bjƶrt og gullin viư fƦưingu Ćórs Ć” stĆgnum viư Taco Bell Ćar lĆ” Loki
The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing
This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!
And in Danish because why not:
Solen skinnede, skĆøn og gylden
PĆ„ dagen for Tors fĆødsel
PĆ„ asfalten ved Taco Bell
DƩr lƄ Loke
āLEV MERE (LIVE MAS)ā
*Snorts*
When Thor born
He hair shine brite
A very very
Magical site
But then I see
A bab from hell
I pik up loki
From taco bell
the rosetta stone of shitposting
@incorrectnorse-quotes
Now THIS is the best post on this hellsite
I don't know what it is with the lesbian community and being eerily attracted to feminine monstresses that straight men always feared,,
Like, we get told "sirens will drag your body to the sea with their songs" or "those fae folk will steal you away and you'll never be seen again" or "the vampires will drain your blood and steal your soul"
and we're all like "pfft, you're not cheaping me out of my goth gf that easily"
I started doing landscaping during this pandemic for money and damn, I donāt think I ever want to go back to an office or retail job again.

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the goal? one day, iāll be running my stardew valley farm in real life.
So, from everything Iāve read or listened to Iām not supposed to accept gifts from the fae because thatās a contract and could screw me over royally. What if it was the other way? Like, I leave an acorn cap or alcohol or honey, or other offerings to the fae. Would that end with my envitaple downfall or would I be alright?
eh, kinda like paying protection money to the mafia. Keep making your payments and things will be fine. Stop paying, well, stopping is when you run into problems.
moon is so beautiful, even the word is so pretty and has such a lovely compound words like: moonlight, moonflower, honeymoon, moondust
what city slickers donāt understand is that weird noises always come from the forest and we just ignore it
if you go out to investigate and get got then that is on you, ignore it and go back to sleep like a rational person
Me, on the porch: chillin
Woods: WoooooooooEEEEEEEEEEEG
Me:
Best case scenario, itās a fox. Worst case scenario, youāre next.
If you investigate the noises the forest is making, you are opening the door for the forest to investigate /you/

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Basic Homesteading Skills
Crafts
quilting
embroidery
cross-stitch
knitting
crochet
sewing
Cooking and Baking
homemade bread
homemade butter
homemade extracts
dandelion jelly
Canning
26 canning recipes
canning jars 101
60 canning recipes
Gardening
edible trees to plant
what to plant to save the bees
cure and braid garlic
save seeds for next year
braid onions for long term storage
build a greenhouse
Animals
homemade chicken feed
raising mealworms for chickens
why to raise nigerian dwarf goats
Outdoors
starting a fire with sticks
trail signs
knotting
find true north without a compass
Medicine
homemade neosporin
all purpose healing salve
These are all great resources to learn skills that will help with your craft. Making things by hand inherently infuses your energy into the result. Use that to your advantage.
āMr Darcy is not a romantic hero. Heās a socially inept nerd,ā I say into the mic.
The crowd boos. I begin to walk off the stage in shame, when a voice commands silence from the room.
āSheās right.ā I look to the owner of the voice. There in the 5th row stands: Elizabeth Bennet herself.
Seeing biblical teachings being reversed into conservative teachings is one of the funniest things holy shit. Like this makes it painfully clear that Jesus taught the exact opposite of all these things yet conservatives in the US wanna call themselves āmen of godā.
Weāve waited a year to reblog this. Happy Bread Anniversary!
Because itās important to celebrate the little victories in life.Ā
[id: Photo of some bread on a table next to some wheat. Text over top reads, āHappy Bread Anniversary! āOn April 19th, I made bread.ā -(CIL IV.8792) -Latin graffiti from Pompeiiās gladiator barracks. End id.]
obsessed with the idea of angels seeing the first human death.Ā
ITS JUST SO FUNNY LIKE EJJFJWKIFIIF
angels see a human die for the first time and be like āthats wild lmao wyd after this?ā
the angels watching Cain kill Abel:

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the idea of people having to be āusefulā is just so gross, like people do not exist to be used
having to produce something and have a use is a capitalist ideal and not an intrinsic part of humanity
just by being alive you are human and you are worth something and you can never be useless
this applies to animals as well
āHaving to like DO THINGS is SO OPPRESSIVE. No one had to like DO THINGS before evil capitalism. In ancient times food, water, and shelter just existed and everything was taken care of for meā
Guess what happened to people who didnāt do things before capitalism? They died. Cause if you werenāt hunting, gathering, or useful in some aspect of nature. You were killed, died or starvation, dehydration, or exposure.Ā
Being useful is literally part of our biology. Fucking moron. You pull some idea out of your ass because you literally donāt want to get off your ass.Ā
Iām not saying nobody should ever do things ever, Iām saying people don;t have to produce to an arbitrary standard in order to prove their right to live
And if you really think disabled people deserve to die if we canātĀ ācontributeā or be useful in a way you approve of then congrats youre a fucking monster
actually thereās significant evidence in terms of Neolithic burials that disabled people who would not have been able to hunt for themselves (the archaeological evidence mostly shows mobility disabilities because itās visible in the bone record) were well fed and cared for by their communities
so the āpeople like you would have been left to dieā argument isnāt just cruel and violently ableist, itās extremely historically inaccurate and based off of projecting modern prejudice on prehistoric cultures
sources because Iām on my laptop now!
note: in the neolithic era, a person in their 40s or 50s would be considered elderly
12,000-year-old burial of a woman about 45 with mobility disabilities both congenital and acquired
burial of a 40-50 year old Neanderthal man who had survived to old age with a deformed right arm and a long-healed head injury that would have made him blind in one eye
neolithic burial of a man in his 50s who lost the use of his left arm in adolescence
neolithic burial of a man in his 40s with evidence of a significant mobility disability caused by an injured hip and leg, some time in adulthood but long before his death
neolithic Asian burial of a man in his 20s with a congenital disorder which would have made him a quadriplegic around age 14. He survived for 10-15 years after that.
5th century burial of child with Down Syndrome
Our society continually propagates the myth that our ancestorsā lives were miserable, but the truth is human beings figured out how to live cooperatively and humanely a long time ago. Really the agricultural revolution fucked everything up.
Cuz clearly people only died and starved before capitalism
Anthropologically, proof of fixed femur fractures in ancient hominids shows that is one of the signs of civilized peopleā caring for the sick and injured is a cornerstone of civilization. So lmao go fuck yourself with the injured and disabled died thousands of years ago if they couldnāt help provide for their group.
Stop turning ancient hominids into these cruel āsurvival of the fittestā images. Especially cause that isnāt even what is meant by that phrase.
Even Neanderthals cared for their sick and injured. Which says a lot about those who are against the idea.
Another point: back in the ancient times, pretty much ALL work that got done was work of theĀ āif it doesnāt get done, you starveā variety, perhaps embellished a bit by theĀ āif it doesnāt get done, youāre uncomfortableā sort. Work was vital, yes, but all the work that was vital was vital.
Nowadays, on the other hand, we have excess, and waste, and an absolute shitpot of arbitrary work that gets shoved into theĀ ānecessary and vitalā pile just because somebody else can make a buck off it, made as much off of cut corners and financial shenanigans as of anybodyās honest labor. Shitty Wal-Mart plastic pitchers and crap toys that capture attention and drop it just as fast,Ā āfast fashionā that you wear twice and it falls apart, shiny chrome washer-dryers that are going to be replaced in five or ten years because planned obsolescence meets upgrade culture, and produce that gets rejected because it doesnāt look shiny and uniform and perfect.
If youāre a cashier, you have to stand even though you could do your job just as well sitting. A fast-food place throwsĀ out pounds of fries, empties the whole assembly-line of prepared food into the dumpster at the end of the night, and if you take any of it home to eat, thatās called stealing. Grocery stores throwĀ out entire cartons of eggs because one out of twelve is cracked and lock their dumpsters so nobody can scavenge food from the tons of whatāsĀ thrown out still edible. Tech stores demand that unsold computers be destroyed with a sledgehammer before being thrown out, and all the labor that went into making it, assembling it, forming its component parts and mining its raw materials, is all wasted.
We can see this shit going on, we encounter it and sometimes weāre ordered to carry it out, in our workplaces that pay us shit, and let me tell you, thereās a hell of a difference betweenĀ āif you donāt get the wheat harvested weāll have no bread all winterā andĀ āyou need to spend the next eight hours cooking food so we can hold a profit after throwing a quarter of it in the garbage.ā A multitude of people would benefit greatly if allowed to access that waste or allowed to not produce whatās likely going to be wasted.
Itās not that we want something for nothingāitās that we want the stuff weāve put work into creating to benefit us, or someone who could use it, and not see good work twisted into benefiting no one while still being demanded and still being underpaid.
If people in agrarian societies of the past starved it was frequently due to an uncontrollable act of nature (drought, flood, locusts, plague).
Now people starve because they donāt āproduceā in an acceptable way for our capitalist system, which has a very narrow and limited definition of what being āusefulā is, and because our corporate overlords would rather throw food away than feed someone who is starving.
We have enough food, but people are starving to death.
We have enough houses, but people are dying of exposure because theyāre homeless.
We have enough medicine, but people are dying because they canāt afford to pay for it.
And we accept this as correct because weāve been brainwashed that only āusefulā i.e. ācapitalist productiveā people deserve to have food, shelter and healthcare.
Thatās fucked up.
caring for the sick and injured is a cornerstone of civilization
Iāve used this in arguments for years. Those in need are never a drain on a society ā but the way they are treated is the measure of one.
Bringing this back, our worth is not defined by our productivity.
I cannot explain how badly I want to block everyone Iāve ever met out of my life, delete social media, smash my phone with a hammer, move thousands of miles away to a house with bay windows and a pasta arm in the forest, and be forgotten completely.