basil ❀°

BDS-NIM pulled "Your patience during the hiatus is commendable. Here, have all versions of Saheon."

It wasn't a multiple choice, but a bingo!

We got all possible scenarios in a single chapter. Not only that, but their entire conversation was packed densely with variegated emotions. And the implications. think about the implications

WOW, despite my efforts of trying my best to predict how the story is gonna unfold, by "searching and scanning for answers in every line", and being "paranoid in every paragraph",

BDS-NIM ALWAYS SURPRISES US IN VERY UNEXPECTED AND MUCH EMOTIONALLY IMPACTFUL WAYS. Color me shocked, again.

As mentioned, this review is ONLY GOING TO TALK ABOUT SAHEON & SOLEUM. Everything is going to be Solsah/Sahsol-coded.

Also, I couldn't help but translate most of the chapter because SAHEON & SOLEUM are HAVING EMOTIONALLY INTENSE CONVERSATION, so this is gonna be a long post.

Let's start.

It's Baek Saheon. ‘…?!’ Why in the world are you here. ‘Wait, was that you who's coming from the head office…?’ I would have slipped while grabbing the sink if I were standing. I was quite taken aback. And so was the other person as well. One eye from his mask, who was dressed up in a black suit, was looking as if he saw something unbelievable. It's like witnessing a pig that got eaten last year, but is back in the pigsty, all alive and well. 

Yeah, no wonder. It's like meeting Jesus again after his death. I mean, Soleum technically is the god of DER world, Ireum-nim, so this slightly blasphemous metaphor is actually very fitting. Another Soleum and his pertinent use of metaphors/memes/pop references.

But pig? Is this another foreshadowing, BDS-nim? Because a pig is an animal that's usually sacrificed in a ritual & its head is on the Jesasang for fortune and wealth (since money & pig sound the same, the pig's head symbolizes wealth). Soleum is associated with gold, so does this mean...

I may be overthinking. It's just a metaphor. Moving on.

‘Still, he managed to recognize me.’ I thought it would be difficult to put a daily worker, face covered in bruises and completely soaked, with manager Kim Soleum as one person. Especially, when the person he saw last time was 3 years ago.  Hmm. 

OF COURSE. How can Saheon forget? Soleum is associated with both Saheon's emotional valences, to an extreme degree: his conditioned fear, trauma, & life-threatening warning alarm, but also his life-changing & world-tearing savior. Soleum is a walking contradiction to Saheon.

(Side note: There is a psychology term called "one-shot learning," and this exclusively happens in fear learning. As the name states, we can be fear conditioned with the stimulus/situation that we experienced JUST ONE TIME. Unlike reward learning, which requires repetition and reinforcement, fear learning is directly connected to survival. There is NO SECOND CHANCE. No wonder Saheon is on the verge of collapsing every time he sees Soleum AGAIN and AGAIN. )

I mentioned why Saheon might recognize Soleum right away in the GSGW 391 post's comments, and below is that speculation.

"I think he recognized Soleum by three things, despite Soleum's face being all bruised up & regardless of his halo-detecting eye.

1) Soleum's voice coming from the toilet.

2) The other two screaming out of the toilet, possibly intimidated by the guy inside.

3) The researcher is actively averting his gaze ("nobody important there!") to somewhere else when he is getting closer to them.

Baek Saheon is extremely keen at detecting stuff, thanks to his nat 20 survival instincts. And piecing all that evidence together, with the familiar voice being a critical one, he must have realized it was Soleum.

To add on some explanation about the 3rd one, Saheon is here to audit because of the sudden rise in dream essence from the Namhae branch office, and it seems someone is involved with this oddity. The researcher is acting extremely suspicious and tries to hide this gold goose & Saheon, a Section Chief, who's very experienced in the Daydream, probably realized what's going on instantly, the moment he was in this place."

The memories with Soleum were unforgettable and formative experiences, shaping his view and extending his deep-rooted survival-of-the-fittest perspective. That Saheon can have an option for saving both himself and others.

To quote the most famous line from the Korean movie "The Handmaiden (2016):

"The saviour who came to tear my life apart. My Agent. My Soleum. (내 인생을 망치러 온 나의 구원자.)"

I abruptly rose up.  “…!!” And stared at Baek Saheon.  His face wearing a goat mask wasn't readable, but somehow I think he flinched.  Oh? “Did you notice?” “What?” “You did.” “……!”

Saheon's fear-conditioned response (CR). It has been 3 years without Soleum, but still intact. Also, really, Soleum? Is that the way to greet Saheon like that?

“They were documented as missing, but they died. I was with them and saw them dying.” “…….” “If you're having doubts, you know.” “Of, of course! No, not at all. No doubts, I trust all of them! But I'm more comfortable working as a branch office researcher….” “Ah, I see. Because you were being too comfortable here, maybe you might have made a mistake in judgment. Right?” “…….” “Right?” “That… is correct.” …Tap. After hearing that word, Baek Saheon let the researcher's shoulder go.  Then he brushed off his hands and crossed his arms again. “Well, no worries. That's why I'm here to audit.” “…….”

OMG, Saheon knows how to threaten others. Love to see how experienced and more relaxed (as a superior) Saheon is. The Viper Saheon moment. And another menacing use of shoulder-grabbing. (BDS-NIM really likes the shoulder-grabbing technique)

Judging by Saheon's threat to the researcher, he definitely knows about his rumor and reputation & is actively using it to intimidate others. Learned from the best, right? Someone taught him so well, by firsthand experience.

Rumors said that the employees who went with him all died and he survived all alone, but that's just a survivorship bias. Conversely, because he survived, he got a promotion as a section chief.

Saheon's literally threatening the researcher to play nice, or they're going to darkness with HIM, with the suspicious, sole survivor.

Also, the researcher's first impression of Saheon was this:

I mean, the guy from the head office for auditing definitely looked like a pushover! -Thank you for your cooperation. Field Exploration Team squad H leader, who was all smiling and greeting, seemed to have a gentle and soft look.  Despite wearing an eye patch, he looked verdantly young, and his smile was vulnerably soft, maybe he lost his body part in the darkness, was the first impression of that guy. 

So, this researcher got this look, too. Look, Saheon's soft and amicable smile would instantly let a person's guard down so easily. Heck, even I was stunned when I first saw Webtoon Saheon's face. He looks like a sweet, innocent person who can do no harm.

“No need for roll call. I can just get testimony from the worker in person.” And he points with his chin. “Get out.” “What?” “Get out.”

OF COURSE, you two need some privacy, OF COURSE. It's been 3 years; there are plenty of things you want to talk about or react to. This is the perfect moment. Perfect moment to execute your hard-earned authority and power.

Baek Saheon's mouth slowly opened. “You….” “You?” “…!” This guy is flinching like having a spinal reflex.  Hmm. Still got it. And the other simultaneously realized it with certainty.  “…What the.” “…….” “It is you.” I saw a single eye of Baek Saheon shaking, through the mask, scrutinizing my looks. 

Damn it, Soleum. Is intimidating Saheon a playful move to you? Saheon's deeply fear-conditioned, and your reaction is "STILL GOT IT"? I mean... it kinda works as biometric authentication.

Biometric identifiers such as pupils, fingertips, or vein patterns (reminds me of someone who doesn't have a name...) are based on an individual's inimitable biological patterns. So, in a very VERY broad sense, this instinctual, lizard brain-associated, biological fear-learning reaction could be considered as it. Saheon automatically, reflexively flinched by him, so yeah. It just confirmed it.

Soleum is literally inside Saheon's mind, even to an unconscious level. How romantic is that?

Also, 1ST SCENARIO UNLOCKED! : Saheon getting intimidated by Soleum, YET AGAIN.

Then Baek Saheon came close to me and asked in a low voice. “You, took my points and got away… Why are you stuck here…! And why do you look like that…,” “I, I'm scared….” “…!?” “I don't know what you're talking about, sir….” I pointed at the toilet with my chin. And I mouthed the words. Wiretab. “……Ha.” Then Baek Saheon raised his body, took out a small earplug-like thing from the suit's front pocket, headed to the toilet door, and stuffed it into the door hole. “It's an item that blocks sound.” “…….” “Is that alright.” “Yeah.” I smiled and raised my body. “…!” “Long time no see.”

2ND SCENARIO UNLOCKED! : Saheon getting mad and ask for his lost points (that he borrowed)/items

Right off the bat, Saheon. But without giving us the moment to go deep, the 3rd scenario comes right in.

3RD SCENARIO UNLOCKED! : Soleum's "Do I know you?" & acting all vulnerable and submissive.

Saheon's short sigh with a brief delay (".....Ha.") has multiple meanings.

1) Realizing Soleum's thorough and prudent as ever, like the manager, Roe Deer Soleum, he used to know & somewhat felt nostalgic.

2) Relieved that Soleum didn't come to the Finishing team because he lost his mind, he is still a sharp-minded man.

3) "This is how he acted as a different person with different personalities. Now I can see that he was constantly acting."

And Saheon's still rich with items. Guess he carries items in every pocket available, just in case.

ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED to see Soleum saying "Long time no see", like a regular person. I think this is the first time Soleum greets Saheon with no ulterior motives. Both are in states with less trauma for a long period of time. He can finally greet Saheon with a true smile.

“Is that the same position worker's doing?” “It is.” I passively admitted.  Baek Saheon was smirking, with his intention unknown, unclear whether he was mocking or mad at me.  “Are you acting like that to lay low? Guess you got beaten less because I was here.” Not that. But Baek Saheon got some confidence from his words, and reverted back to an attitude as a superior who came for the audit.  Then he asked me. “Now you're a daily worker, and I am a section chief to audit, do you think that attitude is appropriate?” Huh? “Of course?” “~!” “I'm gonna quit this job after a week.”

AWWWWWW. Saheon wants to play a savior role here & he feels a little smug. My terrifying savior is vulnerable and finally needs my help.

Aside from Soleum being oblivious, Saheon's intention was unclear because he, in fact, had so many things going on in his mind. Saheon still doesn't know how to react to Kim Soleum. To make things worse, this whole reunion happened when Saheon wasn't ready at all. It happened in such an unexpected place and in such an unexpected state, all of a sudden.

Yes, Saheon made a conclusion about who Soleum is. But as for his emotions? He still needs more time to process. His emotions toward Manager Kim Soleum and his emotions toward the Jisan agent are still jumbled up, indicating Saheon's complexity of emotions toward Soleum.

I swear, Soleum's definitely having fun seeing Saheon baffled and agitated like that. He loves messing up Saheon in a friendly way.

Baek Saheon's face got weird.  “Why are you here if you're quitting the job…… You were gone for 3 years, did you gamble or do something?” “Dunno. I woke up and got here?” “…….” “Anyway, my mind for resigning is resolute. But I'm not sure they are gonna let me go safely.” “What, are they killing off the leavers?” “Don't know that. I don't think they will let go in the first place.” I smiled. “I collected a B-rank dream essence with my bare body last week.” “…?!” “And from the recent containment failure incident, I made contact with the darkness and survived.” “Wait,” “I drew some attention.” I tidied my wet hair by shaking it off.  “Maybe they won't let me go.” “……Haa.”

Another Saheon's sigh. Yeah, still competent as ever, right? Despite Soleum being stuck in a cesspool, devoid of his power, item, or anything, and in a constant struggle town, he still delivered the best performance and his competency never diminishes. Soleum still got it.

This is the high-rank essence-bringing competent manager and the agent who singlehandedly terminated the Jisan Village disaster that Baek Saheon knows.

Baek Saheon crossed his arms, and a sneer came up around his mouth.  “So, you need my help then.” “…….” I did not deny it. “Wow, what a long 3 years it was. Right? While I was getting a promotion as a section chief, you were stuck here as a daily worker. I saved you from death, how embarrassing.”  And he snaps his neck. “And… is this the attitude coming from a person who's requesting?” “…….” “How are you supposed to scare me? Looks like you don't have a thing.” “Oh, I have an equipment item.” “…?” “Very nice. First prize. Got it the moment I went into the darkness.” “You're lying.” “It's true.” I shrugged my shoulders and tidied the top part of my working attire.  “Also, I have no intention to scare you. Now I don't need to.” “…….” “I was just a bit glad to see you.”

4TH SCENARIO UNLOCKED! : Saheon mocking about Soleum's state & demanding Soleum say "Please"

Soleum is just going after Saheon's attitude, just like the old times, but without any menacing/threatening tone, more like a friendly inertia. This whole conversation is quite nostalgic for Soleum. No ulterior motives, no strings attached, no endless scheming and hiding; Soleum is genuinely happy.

Baek Saheon ran his slicked hair with his hand and answered with a sigh. “Whatever. Anyway… just wait. It’s not that difficult to find out whether you can get out.” …! “Thank you.” “You answer as if I'm doing this for free.” Baek Saheon squinted his eye. “You told me you have an item. Pay back with that. Estimating the interest, there are tons of things you need to pay back to me….” His words faded.  “Well… Anyway.” “…….” This guy, seems to notice I am the agent from Jisan village. I confirmed it from his statement. ‘He doesn’t know what to do even if he's certain about it.’ I have no idea whether he wants to talk about it, or show that he knows, or ignore it. 

DAMNNNN Saheon's slicked hair. Auditing is a rare occasion that could exert his authority, especially as a head office section chief. He probably preened and did a full makeover for the occasion. Saheon's in best-of-the-best state, both position-wise and appearance-wise, and Soleum's in his nadir. What a dramatic contrast.

Baek Saheon turned his head. “But if you really want to hear about it… Well. Most of them aren't at the company. Some resigned, some went missing….” What? “Who resigned and who went missing.” “I don’t know because I don't want to get involved!” “…!” “Why. You look disappointed. What, I should help the others, are you gonna say something like that?” I don't know why he is talking defensively. Seems to be a bit desperate too. “Not that. I was worried about the others, so I wanted to know how they're doing.”

Saheon is acting defensive and desperate because HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE HATED BY HIS DEAR AGENT/KIM SOLEUM. This also shows Saheon's compunction, too. Soleum, Jisan agent, is like a Jiminy Cricket to him, and now that agent=Soleum is asking about the people he cannot help, he feels a pang of conscience? Oh No wonder.

Okay. This singular line killed me. It audibly made me gasp. THE IMPLICATION OF THIS LINE.

For 3 years, he was continuously thinking about who Kim Soleum really is, putting all the relevant pieces together, despite one contradicting the other. Despite all his prejudice, his bias clouding the truth, he finally made a conclusion:

"Kim Soleum is a selfless and kind man. The man he met at Jisan is the closest to who Soleum is."

Whatever happened at Jisan is not an acting, or his agent self was not just a goodie-two-shoes act, but that was who he truly is. Every rumination, thought, theory and the intertwined layers of emotions about Soleum are all compressed and condensed into that single sentence.

“...There are more people who resigned than who went missing. For starters, the chief lizard is still at the company. Not a chief anymore, though.” “Anyway,” “Time for me to leave. Just wait. Don't do something weird or stupid. You're not in a situation where you could save anyone.” And before I could answer it, he hurriedly turned around to get out of the toilet as if he was ending the conversation, but he stopped his feet and asked me. “The paper I gave it to you, do you still have it?” ……. “Well, it makes it easier to contact you….” “I don't have it now.” “……Well, okay.”

Saheon's protective side is kicking in. He doesn't want to see his precious and beloved agent=Soleum to be safe. Because Saheon is CLEARLY AWARE OF (& witnessed himself) Soleum already having tons of history risking his life, and he almost lost his entire existence. Saheon was there, experiencing an abridged version of the 5 stages of Grief.

AWWWWWW. Saheon asking, "Do you still have my number?"

‘Huh.’ I don't know what just happened. ‘How did Baek Saheon come all the way here?’ Because it sounds too unreal, I almost washed my face once more even though I got tortured by water a few minutes ago. Meeting ‘section chief’ Baek Saheon like the <Dark Exploration Records>. Encountering him in this state. 

DAMN SOLEUM, in such a miserable state like this, probably one of the worst environments you've ever been in a sane mind and in a human body, with a bunch of lost causes here and there, you still are EXCITED to WITNESS "THE SECTION CHIEF, aka. THE VIPER, Baek Saheon from the <Dark Exploration Records> IN THE FLESH?

This man is a true nerd.

People who said his bias among the Daydream characters was Saheon, you were absolutely right. This whole behavior can't be explained if this weren't the case.

‘Still… I don't think he would snitch my whereabouts to the superiors.’ I was a bit glad too. He was definitely more amicable than my thoughts, right? Of course, I could also speculate that… for self-preservation purposes, he would not choose to snitch me and get involved in this mess, but aside from that. “Hmm.” It was good anyway.

Soleum is still trying to shoehorn Saheon's behaviors into his outdated, obsolete DER wiki frame. A cold, calculated Viper who knows nothing but himself and would willingly use others for survival.

But Soleum unconsciously knows it's just NOT that ("...but aside from that. (...) It was good anyway."). Soleum acknowledges Saheon's change and his development. He can sense that Saheon is trying to become a better person, but his wiki-tinted lenses are blinding him from saying the truth.

I actually wrote a similar post about this matter during the hiatus, and these are the lines from it.

…But seriously, I don't know how to deal with Section Chief Baek Saheon anymore. What does he want?

DUH, YOU.

Section chief Baek Saheon, closing the paper, answered with a half-hearted voice. “A worker who talked to me a few minutes ago was acting weird.” Shit! “Hahaha, as mentioned before, it's not contamination but….” “No, his mental state seems to be off in the first place.” “…Pardon?” “Two workers who ran out of the toilet said Z999 is insane. What do you think?” What do I think, it's just an excuse they made after bullying and taking his money! But it seems that Section Chief Baek Saheon was twitching the corner of his mouth. They noticed he was feeling a slightly twisted pleasure from it, maybe he's having fun bullying me. 

To clarify about Saheon's smile, this is coming from the perspective of the researcher. So this so-called "twisted pleasure" may be their distorted view of Saheon's smile.

My interpretation of Saheon's smile is this:

Feeling a bit reminiscent of the past. This is exactly Kim Soleum's doing; it kinda makes him recall the old times. He now knows who Soleum truly is & Soleum explicitly said that he has no intention of scaring Saheon anymore (Though his conditioned response remains at a reflex level). He can finally face those memories without associating trauma, recalling them as the memories themselves.

Happy that Soleum stood up to those bullies. Despite having ambivalent feelings about Soleum, he is still the person Saheon cares and roots for. And that person didn't succumb but fought back. Now that's the agent=manager=Soleum that he knows! Kinda cathartic, too.

Schadenfraud. This is sort of a projection. Seeing others tortured/threatened by Kim Soleum like he used to, he's laughing at them.

Find this situation entertaining. Kim Soleum is in fact a nice guy, and Saheon now knows he pulled something crazy to scare them off. Isn't it funny to even imagine what kind of insane thing he did, with that gap moe in mind?

So YEAH! I'm having HIGH HOPES FOR SAHSOL/SOLSAH NARRATIVE :D