the plastic age

it's like i am literally never going to own a house or find authentic love or escape the clutches of late stage capitalism so really what am i living for

everybody leave town i need to talk to myself on a walk for an hour and fifteen minutes

girls vs getting over anything thats ever happened to them in their life

nobody says “hey wise guy” or “what’s the big idea” anymore…reflects the sorry state of wisdom and big ideas in general

i hate whoever invented vaping so much only a truly vile person could make smoking that much more unhealthy n worst of all that sexless

oh my god you prefer cold weather should we tell everyone should we throw a party should we invite the thing

whatever happens it’s so important that we’re funny about it. Above all else commit to the bit

This is not a defensible legal opinion but NDAs shouldn't apply to the besties

they should invent a phrase as evocative as im going to kill myself that isnt about killing yourself