I'm not very good, but I'm trying!

I love being asleep and I love being in bed but I hate GOING to bed because it requires so many small rituals and bedtime activities i wish i could just automatically transport myself into bed the moment i get sleepy already with my teeth brushed, in my pajamas, phone set down to charge, entire body marinating in an artisanal mix of 17 herbs and spices and sealed in a sous vide bag, etc 

the funniest moment of that Madagascar movie was when the penguins make it to Antarctica and theyre standing there in the blizzard in silence until ones just like ‘WELL THIS SUCKS.”

do you ever wonder what happens on the non-weaboo side of tumblr

Yeah, they steal bones and argue about cartoon space rocks or something

a fistfight CAN be romantic. if youre fucking gay

i keep having dreams i can’t breathe because my cat cocoa can’t comprehend that he’s a ragdoll cat the size of a 2 year old human and Too Fucking Lorge to sleep on my chest while i’m sleeping 

what is it about a retail uniform that makes boomers lose all empathy or critical thinking

i was grabbing something to eat at whole foods and one woman started shouting “excuse me?! excuse me?!” and I ignored her cause I don’t know her. She then came up to me and grabbed my arm and went “I was calling you! Can you help me find something?” and I was like….I don’t work here? And she rolled her eyes and went “Well can you find me someone who DOES?” and when I said “No, sorry” she got all huffy. like…..bitch I don’t work here and I’m not on the clock. I need to eat.

your composure when being literally physically harrassed by somebody who objectifies workers is fucking mindblowing to me op i would have thrown so many goddamn hands, id have to throw hands that werent even mine. id be borrowing hands and throwing hands i only had on credit like the NERVE holy shit

me while i’m just living my life: yeah.. i don’t get it. just don’t understand any of this. like i just………………………………… don’t get it