Ok But Why

Age old question, fellas

thinkin abt the time i was lost af in river north chicago looking for my rental car after getting lunch from this korean bbq taco place and i was getting scared and started crying on the sidewalk and this old old old woman bopped me real fuckin hard on the head and told me to quit whining and shut up and then helped me find the car and when i said thank you she said “now fuck off”

Damn, what a big fucking lizard. Me like. Well done. Have a nice day.

Sam Gamgee deserves more credit for refusing to serve unseasoned food in the woods in the middle of the most dangerous quest of all time

A drunk guy at work kept pulling on the push door and couldn’t figure out why it wouldn’t open so he decided perhaps the bright red latch to the right of the door was the answer but the bright red latch was in fact the fire alarm.

I assume the door did open after that. The tragedy of drunken plans is not that they don’t work, it’s how they do.

It didn’t actually, there’s no button or mechanism to open the door except just… pushing it. It’s very obviously a push door. In fact one of the line cooks LEFT THE KICTHEN to open the door and shoo him out.

See? Pull red switch -> summon door wizard -> success.

You know what you have a point

It feels like deeply maladaptive that the human body's response to intense hunger is to feel nauseous. Like what was the goal there

Shout out to chubby women just because.

who else is feeling pretty and bisexual today

dr pepper may not be for everyone, but it IS for people with good taste