The Whimsical Words and Phrases of Balalaika

Me: Yo, Mako's a little slut. What with his whole breaking up with Korra, then dating Asami when Korra's away on a mission. And when she finally comes back, he lies that they didn't break up because he's too afraid to approach her! That's me saying that and I like the guy.

Malaika: I liked him too! I don't know what's wrong with him. He didn't have to be a pussy about this,

Whitney: Exactly! And it was so funny yet awkward when he was trying to be all formal with Korra afterwards, addressing her as "The Avatar". I was like "this guy..."

Malaika: Lmaoooo, I know. I hate him but I still kind like him. He's my new Zuko.

Whitney: "He's my new Zuko"-that sentence has to be the single best sentence I've seen in a while. I'm going to put that up on our blog. Well, the entire convo. I feel the same way, by the way. He's my new Zuko as well haha. An emotionally troubled, good-looking firebender. It's no wonder.

Malaika: He pulls all the hoes

Whitney: Lol yessss. Omg, I just realized, their names even end the same way: Zu-KO & Ma-KO. It's a conspiracy!

Whitney: Have you seen the ad for Wendy's Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburgers? It's high blood pressure on a poster.

Malaika: I think you need a rabbit whisperer.

Whitney: I think I do too. Though I'm not sure I'd want to know what's going on in my furry pal's mind. I can see Tanto s a free-spirited anarchist bunny.

Malaika: Would he move to an anarchist colony too?

Whitney: Of course! Tanto's a real gangster. Lol let me stop.

Malaika: Whoa, you need to get Tanto under control before this gets serious.

Whitney: I know man. He thinks he's all tough and bad now just because he finished puberty. Before you know it, he's going to have his own gang.

Malaika: He might even start pimping.

Whitney: Omg no Tanto, no! Don't you sell those bunny prostitutes! Then once he tires of playing around with hookers he'll move on to the drug business.

Malaika: He might even get a cartel together, selling....."carrots".

Whitney: Lmao he'll have the good stuff, not that alfalfa shit. But then the bunny government will begin to get suspicious and he'll have to take a plane to Mexico under a new alias.

Whitney: People say we don't want to be "fake", but we all adjust our personalities depending on who we're with.

Malaika: I have never agreed with that, it's a ratchet sentiment in my opinion.

Whitney: Lol fakeness is a ratchet sentiment?

Malaika: Look at the word, it isn't even real.

Whitney: Maybe ghetto people are just innovative geniuses. Like Shakespeare but with a horrible twist.

Whitney: Lol I hate you, you're so mean to me. Getting me all upset, then making me feel bad, and finally telling me you're just screwing with me. Too many emotions!

Malaika: Omg I'm like Les Miserable.

Whitney: I should make pudding. Pudding sounds so good right now.

Malaika: My mom said you should make her some.

Whitney: Wait, your biological mom or one of your "moms"?

Malaika: My biological mother

Whitney: Omg yes of course! Should I drop it off tomorrow? :D I feel like this is a real chance for us to bond.

Malaika: Lmao she was kidding.

Whitney: .....I knew that. Why would she want my pudding? I'm just an amateur baker. *tears*

Malaika: There there, she likes you, okay?

Whitney: Does she really?! I knew she couldn't resist my wonderful charm.

Malaika: She said you were nice.

Whitney: I never have enough time to do both my homework and get a good night's sleep anymore.

Malaika: I rearranged my sleeping schedule so it's all good.

Whitney: Oh what's your new schedule?

Whitney: Ben's funny to me.

Malaika: He is just a nuisance.

Whitney: You guys are so mean to him, he never catches a break. Today in class he was saying how he was going to conquer China and everybody just started ganging up on him, tearing him down.

Malaika: I love being that person who tears down his beliefs. The joy it brings me is comparable to that of a thirsty child in a third world country receiving a bottle of water for the first time.

Whitney: OMG I CAN'T. LMAO ROTFLCOPTER. Oh gosh, I don't know why that was so funny to me. (I have to admit the rotflcopter I stole from one of my favorite Youtube subscriptions but I think it is appropriate to use in this situation.) I think I am going to put this up on our tumblr.