keep a gold chain on my neck

off-season post time. what’s your hockey player bringing to the potluck and i DONT want to see the words BANANA BREAD cross my screen

I feel like people who are dismissive of sports don’t realize that they’re sometimes super condescending. like, okay, you didn’t like gym class and have personal grudges against the jocks from your high school! that doesn’t mean that other people are idiots for enjoying something that, when it’s at its best, can connect you to a broader community of fans and give you a chance to appreciate the athleticism that people are capable of when they spend years honing a specific set of skills. there’s something so valuable and human about sports that gets lost when you reduce it to “sportsball” or whatever

Interviews with hockey players are fantastic, because it is a complex game that can be spoken about at length, but during the intermission they'll find the Wettest player imaginable on the losing team and for thirty seconds they'll ask them things like "what do you need to do to get more pucks in the net?" And the player (panting, haunted behind the eyes) says something like "well, we've got to get them in there"

I could never wear any of those dumb “I hope both teams have fun” shirts because no I hope my team wins by 30 and the other team explodes on the field

being a team sports fan really is like oh what if you stanned the ship of theseus