bilbo having a fat ass is extremely relevant to the plot and themes of the hobbit in this essay I will

"Mirkwood would judge Legolas so hard for Gimli-" Wrong. Gimly has consistently charmed the pants off every single elf he's come across. The elves of Lothlorien went from wanting to kick him out to loving him in like 2 days. He's Galadriel's special little guy. My man is out there singlehandedly tearing down centuries of prejudice because he's just so damn charming. When he was nearing the end, he didn't even go to Durin's halls - he just went with Legolas to the undying lands so he could hang out with elves for the rest of time. Gimli would have Thranduil and the rest of the elves of Mirkwood wrapped around his dwarven finger in a week's time. Ideal son in law except for the beard.

In honor of Pride Month this is your friendly reminder that Thorin quite literally proposed to Bilbo by offering him the second most precious object in the mountain, made of a metal so rare it was found in only one mine and was meant for a prince. And the only plausible reason as to why he didn't offer him the first most precious object is simply because he didn't have it.

notice how everyone is horny today