Bad Stargate Memes

As My Favourite Images

Jack:

Sam:

Teal’c:

Daniel:

Apophis:

General Hammond:

Janet:

Walter:

Jonas:

Vala:

Jack:

Sam:

Teal’c:

Daniel:

Jonas:

Vala:

Janet:

General Hammond:

Cam:

Apophis:

Rodney and John:

As much as I hate to defend my post with a long winded essay, it is unfortunately time for me to tilt my hand and hint at my lore. That’s right, it’s time for

Bad Stargate Imagines explains the fundamental differences between puppet varieties

Critics of this post will tell you that Stargate has a muppet episode, specifically the vignette within episode 200. That is factually incorrect as those were marionettes, also known as string puppets as seen in Thunderbirds and Team America: World Police.

As you can see, these are very clearly puppets of the marionette variety. Due to the nature of the construction of these puppets, it’s incredibly difficult to make full-length productions with these as even changing the expression of the puppet requires the whole head to be swapped out. Trey Parker and Matt Stone both agreed that the production of Team America was the hardest thing they’d ever done for a very good reason. Even simple scenes would take days to film and require up to 4 operators per marionette. Not to mention the work involved in post if someone wants to remove the strings from the scene.

Conversely, Muppets is a term coined by Jim Henson to refer to his specific brand of puppets that are predominantly hand puppets with rods used to control the arms. Muppets, effectively, is a brand name, although it has become a bit of a catch all term for puppets that Look Like That. Muppets don’t require a different head to be put on them for different expressions.

Using Kermit as an example here, the head of the muppet is flexible to allow for the hand of the operator to create the desired expression. This is partially why so many of us look at Kermit and think of him as A Real Guy while the Tunderbirds look a little uncanny

As you can see, Vergil’s expression from one shot to the next is identical, it’s just the angle that we’re seeing it at is slightly different. It’s incredibly difficult to make a marionette seem real to a human being, however Miss Piggy on Wendy Williams is like yeah obviously that diva would be on Wendy Williams.

Effectively, puppet is an umbrella term for anything that a human can control and act out scenes with, and a muppet is a subdivision of a subdivision. So, in closing, my post still stands as a bad Stargate imagine because the show DID NOT have Muppets in it, it had marionettes which is basically like a distant cousin of a muppet, like first cousin twice removed or something.

Im realizing that my post was unclear. I was thinking more along these lines (cast subject to change)

Playing two truths and a lie with SG-1 as a normal fucking person and trying to figure out which of the following is a lie:

1. Daniel has died 5 times

2. An alien race has a ship named after Jack

3. Sam blew up an entire galaxy

And what I think of them

This looks like a dad who has woken up on a Saturday morning and is now sitting across from a very hungover teenager who was out last night ‘playing video games’ at a friend’s house and now dad’s not sure how to approach the topic (he’s considering calling mom in for this one) 8/10

These are brothers who got gifted matching outfits by grandma and a PlayStation 3 for Christmas and mum just made them pose for a picture after they were just in the rec room hearing slurs they never knew existed in the COD lobby. They are shaken however will not elaborate on why for fear of losing the PlayStation hours after receiving it. 9/10

Sheppard gets Weekend At Bernie’s’d following the success of the Groundhog Day episode of SG-1. The writers are nothing if not original. 11/10

The LinkedIn picture for the Old Money guy you met in your first year economics class whose dad bribed admissions to get his son into Yale who took 7 years to get a bachelor’s degree in finance. He has a high up position in his dad’s oil company that’s been in the family for generations. Deeply invested in crypto, says he knows how to invest but actually has his money controlled by his dad’s accountants. Thinks milk costs like 2 dollars or something. Thinks poor people should just get jobs because “he didn’t have it easy either”. 2/10 this picture gives my psychic damage.

John Sheppard, pictured here posing for a glamour shot for his bisexual barista she/they partner who is trying to improve her portfolio now that she’s feeling like she wants to get back into photography. John is very supportive and loves them very much. 11/10

This weirdly airbrushed promo for what I can only imagine is a bizarre early 2000s reality show that only got one season in which one ruggedly handsome bisexual man goes on an expedition to the middle of nowhere and gets 50,000$ for every person he doesn’t fuck. He goes home with 0$ in prize money. 10/10

A person who got randomly inspired to clean their room at 1am on the floor at 4am surrounded by clean clothes trying to comprehend a YouTube tutorial for the optimal way to fold shirts so they can all fit in the dresser. 6/10

The Resident Aliens get ahold of the Songs that get the white people turnt playlist and Jonas and Vala have the idea to find out what is the most Tau’ri song in existence. They all throw a big party with free booze and play the songs that get white people turnt playlist and watch the reactions.

Teal’c takes it very seriously and goes around with a clipboard noting all of the reactions to the songs. Jonas starts that way, but goes off to join the party every couple songs. Vala immediately forgets she’s doing a study as soon as SOS by Rhianna comes on.

No one really knows why they’re taking notes, they’re just happy for the free booze. They determine that the most Tau’ri songs that make all the Tau’ri go fucking crazy are:

-Party Rock Anthem

-Mr Brightside

-Wonderwall

-Bonfire

-Margaritaville

-Our Song

-Superstition

-Sweet Caroline

-Boom Boom Boom Boom

And tied for number one are:

Stargate where everything is the same except Daniel’s outfit changes to this

“Jonas…”

“Colonel.”

“….whatcha got there, Jonas?”

Jonas sits straight up, happily. “Did you know there’s this thing called the internet? You can buy clothes there, and everything!”

“…Carter?”

Sam clears her throat. “Um, y-yes, sir?”

Teal'c walks into the sit room, wearing the bowling alley carpet vest, and pin hat, drawing everyone’s attention, as he sits down across from Jonas.

Jack took a deep breath. “Let me guess. A gift from Jonas?”

“Indeed.”

“….Carter…”

Startled, Sam clears her throat again. “It’s… it’s very striking, Sir.”

The door behind them opened as Walter walked in and began distributing several folders. Wearing that. “Here’s tomorrow’s agenda, as you asked, Sir.”

O'Niell clenched his teeth. Walter stood straight and slightly proud. “Oh, like it, Sir? It was a gift…”

“From Jonas. Yeah…” Jack’s words trailed off as the rootin’ tootin'est General Hammond anyone had ever seen followed Walter in. Jack’s jaw dropped, and his face flushed.

“Is something wrong, Colonel? You don’t look well. Maybe you should go see Dr Fraiser.”

“Uh… yeah… maybe.” Jack carefully stood and headed out the room, but not without stopping to take another look around.