badhamburg

Me, six years ago.

This epic poem has been sponsored by the tourism board of Great Uruk.

All I want is for every billionaire seeking immortality to see their miracle cure stolen by a snake.

This is better than the Bible.

Gilgamesh starts contemplating death, inheritance, and contracts. He must be entering his mid thirties.

Ancient Sumerian life advice: dress up, support the arts, give women orgasms.

Beer and bread: making human civilization feel worth it since 2100 BCE (ish).

The audacity of this man to come to Ishtar for a favour after the Bull of Heaven incident.

As a treehugger, I’m on Humbaba’s side.

If you can't just check Wikipedia and read that the sun is a luminous spheroid of plasma that provides provides the energy for all life on Earth from 149.6 million km away, I actually think “God” is a really good guess.

The Fast and the Furious: Sumerian Drift

We accepted all the ills of human civilization in exchange for carbs, and now they want us to give those up too.

I never want to hear anyone dismiss the entire romance genre as porn and therefore devoid of artistic merit ever again. As far as I can tell, the pen (or in this case the reed stylus) was invented because it’s too hard to chisel one-handed.

I am so excited for this tyrant to reckon with his own mortality, a feeling with which I have become very familiar by following American politics.

I’m turning to the history books for an AI-proof side-hustle.

If I am ever presented with the opportunity to use a time machine, I will remember that some of our strongest evidence for women’s work in the Middle Ages is that they were suffered the same punishments for bread crimes as their male colleagues and I will set the dial to 1993.

My surname is not about work; it’s about living by a river. And like my ancestors, I too forget my responsibilities when presented with the opportunity to splash my feet in a nice little stream.